Team NZ take 2-0 lead in America's Cup

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: rulenumberone2

Team NZ take two-nil lead in America's Cup = Mendicant Kiwis amaze petulant Oracle

(by Julian Lofts)

Serena Williams beats Azarenka in US Open final

(TVNZ)

Photo: Boss Tweed

Serena Williams the oldest US Open Women's Tennis Champion = Hits mean ace, slams new linesmen, her opposition let us down

(by Julian Lofts)

Assad threatens 'repercussions' if US launches strike on Syria

(Fox News)

Photo: Steve Rhodes

Assad threatens 'repercussions' if US launches strike on Syria = Assassin ruler chastises Yanks, hopes to cause din, return fire

(by Jason Lofts)

Lawrence in Arabia

(The Wenatchee World)


Thomas Edward Lawrence (of Arabia) = I saw he led Arab nomad force at war

(by Jason Lofts)

Kerry, Hagel make case for US strike on Syria

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Secretary of Defense

The word of the United States must mean something. It is vital currency in foreign relations and international and allied commitments - US Secretary of Defence Chuck Hagel = Most of us cannot feel safe if terrorists remain unchallenged, killing civilians at home, and the Americans decide to do nothing. Try we must - tyrannic scum hate true detente.

(by Julian Lofts)

Toto Koopman: model, muse, mistress - and spy

(The Daily Telegraph)


The many lives of Miss Toto Koopman: the model, the muse, the mistress - and as spy = Phenomenal infamous story. Devotees say that she (Ms. TK) is most immodest. Help!

(by Jason Lofts)

Diana Nyad becomes first to swim from Cuba to Florida without shark cage

(The Guardian)

Photo: booknews

Diana Nyad becomes first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage = Official record - at a big risk. Proof - she swam with boats. Utmost endurance. A dynamo!

(by Julian Lofts)

Duchess of Cambridge returns to work in skinny jeans

(The Australian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Kate back to work in skinny jeans = Bonniest in a skanky work jacket

(by Julian Lofts)

Diana Nyad swims from Havana to Key West

(Havana Concierge)

And again Diana Nyad tries the feared Havana to Key West crossing = A fad: a driven naiad - wet sea - no shark cage - an eternity (day/night)! SOS!

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama weighs 'limited' strike on Syria

( Ma'an News Agency)

Photo: DC Protests

Obama weighs 'limited' strike on Syria = I think - I may tie or blow Assad's regime

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Silicon Valley's golden pair split in Google love triangle

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Esther Dyson

Silicon Valley's golden pair split in Google love triangle = Patio lolling Serge divorces, positively galling Anne. LOL!

(by Julian Lofts)

'Twerking' and 'selfie' added to Oxford dictionary

(BBC)

Photo: caribb

Twerking enters OED = New stinker 'greed to

(by Adam Beardwell)

Zheng Jie knocks Venus Williams out of U.S. Open

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: y.caradec

Venus Williams is knocked out of U.S. Open tournament by Zheng Jie = Gadzooks! Flukey Chinese just won mean tennis prelim. But V: "No! IOU!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Woman rips out 6-year old boy's eyes in China

(NewsShow)

Photo: Sukanto Debnath

Attacker rips out eyes of little boy in China = A heinously sick petty fanatic - too terrible!

(by Julian Lofts)

New York Times and Twitter struggle after Syrian hack

(BBC)

Photo: Scott Beale

New York Times and Twitter struggle after Syrian hack = Murky SEA's warring attack on NYT. Fight riled tweeters.

(by Jason Lofts)

Singapore's Scoot Latest Airline to Offer Child-Free Flying Zone

(Time)

Photo: Simon_sees

Singapore's Scoot Latest Airline to Offer Child-Free Flying Zone = I feel frenzied Catholic priests or felons are not going to fly SA

(by Julian Lofts)

Nigerian boy flies to Lagos from home town hiding in airplane wheel cavity

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: amlusch

Nigerian boy flies to Lagos from home town hiding in airplane wheel cavity = Hypothermic stowaway and moron fleeing on airline Boeing flight is alive

(by Julian Lofts)

Tale of adultery, deception, death

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Abode of Chaos

Tale of adultery, deception, death = Hatred fueled plot to eat cyanide

(by Julian Lofts)

Yosemite fire threatens Bay Area water, power

(USA Today)

Photo: CREDITS

Yosemite fire threatens Bay Area water and power = A fiery terror! We weep at heat. [Ed.: An arsonist, maybe?]

(by Jason Lofts)

A Novelist Who Made Crime an Art, and His Bad Guys 'Fun'

(The New York Times)

Photo: John Levanen

Elmore Leonard: A Novelist who Made Crime an Art, and his 'Bad Guys' Fun, Dies age Eighty-seven Years Old = Dear unforgettable man, a loved doyen - savageness in really grimy ideas which so endeared him to us

(by Julian Lofts)