America's Cup : Sir Ben Ainslie's Oracle Team trail Team NZ

(BBC)

Photo: ant0ine

Team Oracle = A latecomer

(by Julian Lofts)

Falling pants foil robbery at Queen of the Universe Shrine

(News13)

Photo: Pierre LaScott

Falling pants foil robbery at Queen of the Universe Shrine = Buffoon's plan in "brief" reversal there. Quit stealing, honey!

(by Rosie Perera)

SAS quizzed over Diana death

(The Daily Express)

Photo: mondoagogo

The SAS was quizzed over Diana’s death = Aha! Razz as the Queen was set vs. Dodi & Di

(by Robert Jordan)

The Anagram Times Q&A with Julian Lofts

He has turned an anal skin tag into a nipple, so turning a news headline into an anagram is something he can probably do in his sleep. Meet The Anagram Times' New Zealand reporter, Julian Lofts, who works as a plastic surgeon in his spare time.

There are many twins. There are many anagrammers. But there is probably only one set of identical twin brothers in this world who are also master anagrammers. We recently had a Q&A with Jason Lofts. Now it's the turn of his twin brother Julian Lofts.

Q How did you get into anagrams?
A My twin brother Jason and I were brought up from an early age to love words. We played Scrabble and did cryptic crosswords. Roget's thesaurus was an extremely well-worn book in our library. We liked puns and palindromes, acrostics and acronyms. My contributions to The Anagram Times were sparked by my brother's apparent obsession with wordplay. Initially I thought it was a side effect of his medication but then I realized it must be an inheritable trait that we both share. It has brought us closer together as he lives in Switzerland and I in Auckland, New Zealand and we haven't been good at communicating with each other until a few months ago.

Q Do you remember the first anagram you made?
A I created a cryptic crossword for the Otago medical school students' magazine in the late 1970s -- can't remember the wording of the clue but Psychotherapist somehow became Psycho the Rapist. Certainly not original, I'm sure. Then there was this huge gap until 1st June 2013 when I helped my twin brother Jason create anagrams for this headline: Oscar Pistorius heartbroken, uncle says. My contribution was: Think care - nauseous Boers carry pistols. From then on I have been hooked. My alter ego/alias on the Anagrammy Forum is "Snafu I'll Jot". If I include my middle name Argus the best anagram is Lost sinful jaguar.

Q Do you have a favorite anagram?
A I love the simplicity and profundity of: Elvis ~ lives.

Q How do you pick a news headline to anagram?
A I will sometimes see a bizarre headline while reading the morning paper but often I will scour the weird news on the Huffington Post site. I look for obscure, funny, polarizing headlines that pose more questions than answers. I'm looking for the back story.

Q Describe the moment when you are working on anagramming a phrase and the last few letters just fall into place and you realize that you have an outstanding anagram on your hands.
A It's an exultant event, extremely satisfying like those sports replays you see on TV. I will often yell out loud and punch the air. Haven't quite mastered the Rafael Nadal "starting the chainsaw" maneuver.

Q Some people use anagrams for divination. Do you think there's a mystical angle to anagrams?
A I never cease to be amazed by the so-called hidden messages that anagrams divulge, seemingly by virtue of me putting pen to paper. I keep meaning to look for the real truth within horoscopes.

Q What do you do in your non-anagram life? Do you see any parallels in what you do and in anagramming?
A I'm a plastic and reconstructive plastic surgeon in real life and this involves some amazing morphing techniques. The Greek word plastikos means to mold. I make breasts from abdominal fat or back muscle. I also restore faces after accidents or rejuvenate the aged ones. I once reconstructed a nipple from an anal skin tag! Still haven't quite worked out how to give up my day job just yet.
In my spare time I am learning how to play jazz trumpet. You would be horrified at how useless I am at improvisation (musical version of anagramming). One day I hope to run a jazz club like Haruki Murakami did before he became a famous novelist.

Q Approximately how long do you spend on an anagram?
A Generally 1-2 hours so I can often complete two headlines in one evening, depending on how much tequila or red wine I have consumed. I sometimes rely on the power of the subconscious and go to sleep stuck on a problem only to have worked it out when I wake up.

Q Anything else you'd like to add?
A I find the anagram checker and advanced anagramming programs on Wordsmith.org invaluable. Can't do without my iPhone and mini iPad either. I am very grateful to you, Anu, for the opportunity and encouragement to be a 'gramsmith. As my brother Jason said recently, we both enjoy "shooting out the lights and trashing the bar at The Anagram Times saloon."

Selected anagrams from Julian Lofts:

• Singapore's Scoot Latest Airline to Offer Child-Free Flying Zone
• Vishal Thakkar, Oklahoma Man, Sues After Plastic Surgery Leaves Him Without A Nose
• Cheating Husband's Mistress Reportedly Pushed Off Cliff By Wife
• Explosive breast implants now a terror threat

German town to strip Hitler of honorary citizen's title

(The Voice of Russia)

Photo: Elias Schwerdtfeger

A German town's leaders to divest Hitler of honorary citizenship = Goslar powers' direct hints to remove the Nazi Adolf H. - er, insanity?

(by Jason Lofts)

Delhi gang-rape trial: death sentence inevitable says Indian minister

(The Guardian)

Photo: ramesh_lalwani

Delhi gang-rape trial: death sentence inevitable says India's home minister Sushilkumar Shinde = Demonise, dehumanise, hang all the heathen rapists, sinners, abusers. Die like a dainty girl victim.

(by Julian Lofts)

Remembering 9/11

(ABC News)

Photo: Scott Hudson

I remember this date was "nine eleven, two thousand & one" = Insane, evil men: Both the Twin Towers made asunder! (E&OE)

(by Jason Lofts)

Iowa grants gun permits to the blind

(CNN)

Cartoon: aesop

Iowa grants gun licenses to legally blind people = Sell gun to "No-Eyes"? So appalling! End will be tragic.

Iowa grants gun licenses to legally blind people = Plainly, weapons legislators could be negligent

(by Rosie Perera)

Like a duck to water...

(The Daily Express)


Like a duck to water eh? = Kick the ale wader out!

(by Robert Jordan)

BBC in 'boring snoring' MP insult

(MSN News)

Photo: Wikimedia

The BBC's in a 'boring snoring' MP insult = I'm a born bungling snob in the scripts?

(by Robert Jordan)

Miley Cyrus trades twerking for riding naked on wrecking balls and licking sledgehammers

(Fox News)

New! Miley Cyrus rides naked on a wrecking ball and licks sledgehammers = Blonde Disney maiden's glam ham lark really sucks. We cringed 'n' were sick.

(by Jason Lofts)

Team NZ take 2-0 lead in America's Cup

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: rulenumberone2

Team NZ take two-nil lead in America's Cup = Mendicant Kiwis amaze petulant Oracle

(by Julian Lofts)

Serena Williams beats Azarenka in US Open final

(TVNZ)

Photo: Boss Tweed

Serena Williams the oldest US Open Women's Tennis Champion = Hits mean ace, slams new linesmen, her opposition let us down

(by Julian Lofts)

Assad threatens 'repercussions' if US launches strike on Syria

(Fox News)

Photo: Steve Rhodes

Assad threatens 'repercussions' if US launches strike on Syria = Assassin ruler chastises Yanks, hopes to cause din, return fire

(by Jason Lofts)

Lawrence in Arabia

(The Wenatchee World)


Thomas Edward Lawrence (of Arabia) = I saw he led Arab nomad force at war

(by Jason Lofts)

Kerry, Hagel make case for US strike on Syria

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Secretary of Defense

The word of the United States must mean something. It is vital currency in foreign relations and international and allied commitments - US Secretary of Defence Chuck Hagel = Most of us cannot feel safe if terrorists remain unchallenged, killing civilians at home, and the Americans decide to do nothing. Try we must - tyrannic scum hate true detente.

(by Julian Lofts)

Toto Koopman: model, muse, mistress - and spy

(The Daily Telegraph)


The many lives of Miss Toto Koopman: the model, the muse, the mistress - and as spy = Phenomenal infamous story. Devotees say that she (Ms. TK) is most immodest. Help!

(by Jason Lofts)

Diana Nyad becomes first to swim from Cuba to Florida without shark cage

(The Guardian)

Photo: booknews

Diana Nyad becomes first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage = Official record - at a big risk. Proof - she swam with boats. Utmost endurance. A dynamo!

(by Julian Lofts)

Duchess of Cambridge returns to work in skinny jeans

(The Australian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Kate back to work in skinny jeans = Bonniest in a skanky work jacket

(by Julian Lofts)

Diana Nyad swims from Havana to Key West

(Havana Concierge)

And again Diana Nyad tries the feared Havana to Key West crossing = A fad: a driven naiad - wet sea - no shark cage - an eternity (day/night)! SOS!

(by Jason Lofts)