Malala Yousafzai brings fear and loathing to her home town

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Wikimedia

Malala Yousafzai brings fear and loathing to her home town = O, what animal shot her? Amazed young girl's no fear of Taliban!

(by Jason Lofts)

Assad's diplomatic luck could run out as Syria killing continues

(Financial Times)

Photo: Wikimedia

Assad's diplomatic luck could run out as Syria killing continues = Guy's ill, and skunk's a stupid satanic callous idiotic cruel moron!

(by Maurice Goddard)

England must qualify for the World Cup finals in Brazil or face the threat of sinking into depression

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Cless

England must qualify for the World Cup finals in Brazil or face the threat of sinking into depression = "First naturalize Messi, Ronaldo, Buffon, Kahn. Quit letting in goals. Defend worthily. Score" - Chipper fan

(by Julian Lofts)

The oceans are heating, acidifying and choking

(New Scientist)

Illustration: AnnetteCS

The oceans are heating, acidifying and choking = A frightening icy end in a giant eco-shock ahead?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Canterbury cathedral invites girls to audition for first female choir

(The Guardian)

Photo: Chris Beckett

Canterbury cathedral invites girls to audition for first female choir = Brilliant! Another claim for the victorious Suffragettes; I did near cry

(by Robert Jordan)

The Icelandic Food Scene Goes Beyond Rotten Shark

(Zester Daily)

Photo: Pixelicus

The Icelandic food scene goes beyond its rotten shark = Season the dodgy Bottlenose carrion, it's chickenfeed

(by Robert Jordan)

Putin lights Olympic flame for Sochi on Red Square

(Yahoo! Sports)

Photo: dionysisk

Putin lights Olympic flame for Sochi on Red Square = Pres. (leading quasi-chief, no?) lit torch from Olympus

(by Aronas Pinchas)

President Obama open to Washington Redskins name change

(NFL)

Photo: Keith Allison

President Obama is open to name change for Washington Redskins team = 'Nomen est omen'. Moniker of WASP racists? Hopi aghast, angered, banned it.

(by Jason Lofts)

Mugged by a Mug Shot Online

(The New York Times)

Photo: Raquel Baranow

Mugged by a Mug Shot Online = I'm naughty - snub me. Googled!

(by Robert Jordan)

Dozens convicted in Marbella corruption scandal

(BBC)

Art: Luis Ruiz

Dozens are convicted in corruption scandal in Marbella = Brazen criminals collude and connive. Carted to a prison!

(by Jason Lofts)

Spanish resort of Marbella = O, help, smart arses rob 'n' fail!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Apple Products Thriving Two Years After Steve Jobs' Death

(KUGN590)

Photo: aforgrave

Apple Products Thriving Two Years After Steve Jobs' Death = The past top forward iPad genius rests. That clever, by Jove!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Men better drivers' ruling sends Spain's women loco

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: christopherallisonphotography.com

'Men better drivers' ruling sends Spain's women loco = Masculine rib deserving meltdown response. Snort!

(by Julian Lofts)

Mystery of painting in post

(MSN News)

Mystery of painting in post = Pity! Monet's profit, any sign?

(by Robert Jordan)

Madagascar mob lynches three on tourist island

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: wallygrom

Madagascar mob lynches three on tourist island = It is organ dealer myth, manhunt, carcasses, blood

(by Julian Lofts)

No nose-picking in public: China chides its 'unruly' tourists

(The Hindustan Times)

Photo: kaymoshusband

No nose-picking in public: China chides its 'unruly' tourists = I bask in lurid eccentricity, shun uncouth pissing in pools.

(by Julian Lofts)

Submarine Invades Milan

(Huffington Post)

Photo: r.penrose

Submarine Invades Milan = MI vessel in urban main ad?

(by Robert Jordan)

Woman warned over beach pebble haul

(MSN News)

Photo: floato

Woman warned over beach pebble haul = Law humored wannabe cobble paver, eh?

(by Robert Jordan)

Medical mistakes kill hundreds in Queensland

(Brisbane Times)

Photo: Courtarro

Medical mistakes kill hundreds in Queensland = Dunderhead quacks let in... ills link man's demise.

(by Mark McNamara)

Health of oceans 'declining fast'

(BBC)

Photo: Hani Amir

Health of oceans 'declining fast' = Fish challenged in sea. Fact - o, not?

(by Jason Lofts)

Government Furloughs Begin Due to Congressional Impasse

(Bloomberg)

Photo: NASA

Government Furloughs Begin Due to Congressional Impasse = Enough undoing! Pres. Obama must feel Congress is revolting!

(by Dharam Khalsa)