Forty per cent of drug users trying new psychoactive substances, study shows

(The Guardian)

Photo: HereIsTom

Forty per cent of drug users trying new psychoactive substances, study shows = Buyers scorn reds, turn off pot... suggests why us types now crave synthetic acid.

(by Mark McNamara)

Malaysia court rules non-Muslims can't use word 'Allah'

(Al Arabiya)

Illustration: Balee

Malaysia court rules non-Muslims can't use word 'Allah' = Measly human maniacs! Lots rule our world as lunatics!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Malaysia court rules non-Muslims can't use word 'Allah' = Holy Moses, asinine sarcasm 'n' old mutual, cultural war!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Vatican pulls medals that misspell 'Jesus'

(MSN)

Photo: ABC News

Vatican pulls medals that misspell 'Jesus' = Sculpt slapdash el, numismatists jell, Ave ...!

(by Robert Jordan)

America conflicted over sex in the cinema

(Brisbane Times)

Photo: Marcus Vegas

America conflicted over sex in the cinema = Screen defective climax? I'm an action hero!

(by Mark McNamara)

Prague Wants National Geographic to Apologize for Scam City

(Bloomberg)

Prague Wants the National Geographic to Apologize for Scam City = NG apologise for airing a pathogenic outlaw story. Apt Czech mate!

(by Julian Lofts)

Physician emerges as seller of Marilyn Monroe plastic surgery notes

(Reuters)

Photo: quicheisinsane

Physician emerges as seller of Marilyn Monroe plastic surgery notes = Norma's historical surgical operations emerge. FEMEN slyly spy, sneer.

(by Julian Lofts)

Jesus misspelled on Vatican medallions

(UPI)

Photo: ABC News

Jesus misspelled on Vatican medallions = Damn, minted 'Lesus' - colossal, evil jape, sin!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Life with Berlusconi: sleepless nights and expensive beans

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: ghostofgoldwater

Life with Berlusconi: sleepless nights and expensive beans = Senile Il Cavaliere's finest budget expenses blown. Shh - snip!

(by Julian Lofts)

N. Korea warns of 'all-out war'

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: NOS Nieuws

N. Korea warns of 'all-out war' = Loon Korea's awful warrant

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Asteroid offers clues to possibility of life beyond our solar system

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: FlyingSinger

Asteroid offers clues to possibility of life beyond our solar system = Firstly, idiots fooled by stories of aliens from outer space. Bless you!

(by Julian Lofts)

Assange's letter to actor playing him

(The New Zealand Herald)


Assange's letter to actor playing him = A strange mien - a polyglot's theatrics

(by Julian Lofts)

US Republicans make temporary debt-ceiling offer

(BBC)

Photo: sobyrne99

US Republicans make temporary debt-ceiling offer = Obama's clean fed up: "Fierce GOP nuts irk me terribly!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Franchitti released from hospital; en route back to Indy

(NBC Sports)

Photo: Vitodens

Dario Franchitti = Fit in car, hit road

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Miss Universe puts foot in it at Taj Mahal

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: kortomomolu

Miss Universe puts foot in it at Taj Mahal = Just a shameful vain promo. It taints site.

(by Julian Lofts)

Miss Universe puts foot in it at Taj Mahal = Tut-tuts! It's a shrine of love! I'm in pajamas

(by Robert Jordan)

Air travel etiquette: for a start, wear deodorant

(Brisbane Times)

Photo: nnnnox

Air travel etiquette: for a start, wear deodorant = Retaliate over odour... a Qantas twitterer farted!

(by Mark McNamara)

Chelsea Manning: I'm no 'pacifist'

(Salon)

Photo: CREDITS

Chelsea Manning remarked: "I am not a pacifist" = An AC-DC female: "I'm 'transparent-ish', OK!" Imagine!

(by Jason Lofts)

New Japan tourism campaign launches

(Travelbite)

Photo: m-louis

New Japanese tourism campaign is launched = [Ed.: Glance at Japan map: sushi, rice wine 'n' sumo!]

(by Jason Lofts)

Janet Yellen nominated by Obama as head of US Federal Reserve

(The Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Janet Yellen nominated by Obama as head of US Federal Reserve = Fed veteran for leader? Able, unabashed J is a steal! 'Money, money...'

(by Jason Lofts)

Mark 'Chopper' Read Obituary

(The Guardian)

Photo: Ken Ku-Chih

Mark 'Chopper' Read Obituary = Oh, rape, murder, riot, payback

(by Julian Lofts)

Malala symbol of hope a year on

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: GlobalPartnership for Education

Malala symbol of hope a year on = A parable of some holy anomaly

(by Julian Lofts)