Italian police bust ring of corrupt morticians

(Reuters)

Photo: Gerard Queen

Italian police bust ring of corrupt morticians = Carabinieri put stop to criminal sin. Court: "Flog?"

Italian police busted ring of corrupt morticians = Cops ban illicit corpse fraud intrigue in Roma. OTT!

(by Jason Lofts)

Les agriculteurs mobilisés contre l'écotaxe

(Le Parisien)

Photo: Aidan Brooks

Les agriculteurs mobilisés contre l'écotaxe = Tax résumé: bill risen, I lose cos-lettuce^* cargo
* romaine lettuce

(by Mark McNamara)

New galaxy 'most distant' yet discovered

(BBC)

Photo: NASA

New galaxy 'most distant' yet discovered = Vast mystery alone did excite! God wasn't.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Argentine scientists tap cow burps for natural gas

(Reuters)

Photo: Compassion in World Farming

Argentine scientists tap cow burps for natural gas = Great business capturing cow farts is a rotten plan!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Syria's Assad 'more confident than ever': analysts

(Yahoo! News)

Cartoon: FreedomHouse

Syria's Assad 'more confident than ever': analysts = He's sad nation's very nasty leader or fascist man

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Russia Putting a Strong Arm on Neighbors

(The New York Times)

Illustration: The Pix-Jockey

Russia Putting a Strong Arm on Neighbors = Putin's an arrogant bossier grim thug, son!

(by Maurice Goddard)

In search of the ultimate roller coaster thrill

(BBC)

Photo: Beyond Neon

In search of the ultimate roller coaster thrill = Rash, I'll accelerate 'n' lift ... horror ... "SHIT, LET ME OUT!!!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Dick Cheney had heart device partially disabled to thwart terrorists

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Dick Cheney had heart device partially disabled to thwart terrorists = Sadly a heart switch prevented odd illicit death by a terrorist hacker

(by Julian Lofts)

Conspiracy Theorists Link Oarfish Deaths With Impending Earthquakes

(Huffington Post)

Photo: cliff1066

Conspiracy Theorists Link Oarfish Deaths With Impending Earthquakes = The 'horrid sea snake' is pacific. Oh, why's this piquant tremor angst linked?

(by Jason Lofts)

Instead of a divorce, the GOP needs primary reform

(Reuters)

Illustration: NotionsCapital.com

Instead of a divorce, the GOP needs primary reform = Envisaged recipe for dim herd of Tea Party morons?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Greek police appeal over mystery blonde girl

(BBC)
>
Greek police appeal over mystery blonde girl = Tell cop - Greek gypsy or proverbial Madeleine?

(by Julian Lofts)

New Zealand author wins Man Booker Prize

(Al Jazeera)

Photo: Christchurch City Libraries

New Zealand author wins Man Booker Prize = A wannabe (no pro) worked 'The Luminaries' - zz....

(by Julian Lofts)

New Suzhou building mocked for looking like a pair of trousers

(South China Morning Post)

Photo: Wikimedia

New Suzhou building mocked for looking like a pair of trousers = I am sure folk boo: "Peculiar! Horrendous size would fit King Kong!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

New Suzhou building mocked for looking like a pair of trousers = Look, denim dungarees plague our horizons: if built for kicks, ow!

(by Robert Jordan)

New Suzhou building mocked for looking like a pair of trousers = Drunk builders? Hi, lookup, figure! Look on image of two!..Craziness!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Forty per cent of drug users trying new psychoactive substances, study shows

(The Guardian)

Photo: HereIsTom

Forty per cent of drug users trying new psychoactive substances, study shows = Buyers scorn reds, turn off pot... suggests why us types now crave synthetic acid.

(by Mark McNamara)

Malaysia court rules non-Muslims can't use word 'Allah'

(Al Arabiya)

Illustration: Balee

Malaysia court rules non-Muslims can't use word 'Allah' = Measly human maniacs! Lots rule our world as lunatics!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Malaysia court rules non-Muslims can't use word 'Allah' = Holy Moses, asinine sarcasm 'n' old mutual, cultural war!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Vatican pulls medals that misspell 'Jesus'

(MSN)

Photo: ABC News

Vatican pulls medals that misspell 'Jesus' = Sculpt slapdash el, numismatists jell, Ave ...!

(by Robert Jordan)

America conflicted over sex in the cinema

(Brisbane Times)

Photo: Marcus Vegas

America conflicted over sex in the cinema = Screen defective climax? I'm an action hero!

(by Mark McNamara)

Prague Wants National Geographic to Apologize for Scam City

(Bloomberg)

Prague Wants the National Geographic to Apologize for Scam City = NG apologise for airing a pathogenic outlaw story. Apt Czech mate!

(by Julian Lofts)

Physician emerges as seller of Marilyn Monroe plastic surgery notes

(Reuters)

Photo: quicheisinsane

Physician emerges as seller of Marilyn Monroe plastic surgery notes = Norma's historical surgical operations emerge. FEMEN slyly spy, sneer.

(by Julian Lofts)

Jesus misspelled on Vatican medallions

(UPI)

Photo: ABC News

Jesus misspelled on Vatican medallions = Damn, minted 'Lesus' - colossal, evil jape, sin!

(by Aronas Pinchas)