Millionaire founder of Pinkberry battered homeless beggar

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Schmidt-Family

Millionaire founder of Pinkberry battered homeless beggar = Berserk Mr "Yogurt Man" beat poor Daniel Bolding. If free, he lies.

(by Julian Lofts)

Tom Cruise Admits Katie Holmes Divorced Him to Protect Suri From Scientology

(Yahoo!)

Photo: iwantamonkey

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes = Lack the emotions. Made Suri.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Twitter flies high in dazzling debut

(The New Zealand Herald)

Illustration: Pete Simon

Twitter flies high in dazzling debut = Truth - debit-defining gilt swizzle. Ha!

(by Julian Lofts)

Sleeping Stranger Subway Picture On Q Train Defines Empathy And Is A Lesson In Being Good

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Charidy

Sleeping Stranger Subway Picture On Q Train Defines Empathy And Is A Lesson In Being Good = On seeing urbaneness/grand generosity of spirit/nice man be quiet and still, God was happy.

(by Chris Sturdy)

John Simpson: Yasser Arafat death 'was always suspicious'

(BBC)

Photo: World Economic Forum

John Simpson: Yasser Arafat death 'was always suspicious' = YA's autopsy facts - had rare polonium. Was assassin Jewish?

(by Julian Lofts)

Traders collude in oil corruption, says Swiss NGO

(Swissinfo)

Photo: rcbodden

Geneva-based traders collude in oil corruption, says a Swiss NGO = Nigeria's suspected cool ass oil barons' very untoward dealings

(by Jason Lofts)

Pussy Riot convict 'transferred to Siberia'

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Cea.

Pussy Riot convict 'transferred to Siberia' = Very bad trio incites court, prisoners fast

(by Julian Lofts)

Usain Bolt ate 1,000 McNuggets at the Beijing Olympics

(USA Today)

Photo: Alexandre Moreau

Usain Bolt ate one thousand McNuggets at the Beijing Olympics = Absolutely insane biopic ("TNT Motion"?): 'Just chugged hen at Games'

(by Jason Lofts)

Private data gatekeeper stands between you and the NSA

(New Scientist)

Illustration: KAZVorpal

Private data gatekeeper stands between you and the NSA = A devoted sentry app weakened threat against net abuse

(by Mark McNamara)

Swedish parenting has created nation of brats

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: juhansonin

Swedish parenting has created a nation of spoilt brats = Fathers (bad liars) want to grope sophisticated nannies

(by Julian Lofts)

Justin Bieber Offered Partnership In Brothel With Moonlight Bunny Ranch Owner Dennis Hof

(Huffington Post)

Photo: cukuskumir

Justin Bieber Offered Partnership In Brothel With Moonlight Bunny Ranch Owner Dennis Hof = Huh! Nothing's funny nor shabbier after JB spent time with friend/prone wench in Rio bordello

(by Julian Lofts)

Computer-generated 'Sweetie' catches online predators

(BBC)


Computer-generated 'Sweetie' catches online predators = Er, twee icon attracts degenerate pedophile consumers

(by Jason Lofts)

Is Roadkill Safer Than Chicken McNuggets?

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Sean MacEntee

Is Roadkill Safer Than Chicken McNuggets? = Skid marks signal I get free lunch, no catch.

(by Chris Sturdy)

Is Roadkill Safer Than Chicken McNuggets? = Finger lickin' elk. Stomach aches. Sad grunt.

(by Julian Lofts)

Giant duck explodes, a victim of earthquake

(South China Morning Post)

Photo: TheNoxid

Giant duck explodes, a victim of earthquake = Cite mega thud as exit... provoked final quack.

(by Mark McNamara)

eBay removes Holocaust memorabilia listings

(BBC)

Photo: fengschwing

eBay removes their Holocaust memorabilia listings = Because it is revoltingly amoral. Boorish item. Shame!

(by Julian Lofts)

Swedes implore Chinese: 'We are not Swiss'

(The Local)

Photo: Nina Matthews Photography

Swedes implore the Chinese: 'We are not Swiss' = Sweden emits its wish: 'CH? O, please, we're Norse!'

(by Jason Lofts)

NSA Chief Keith Alexander Hit With Few Tough Questions By Intelligence Committee

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

NSA Chief and Director, General Keith Alexander = Hear a ring, listen to a leader and check ex-friend

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Why do some people prefer bitter drinks?

(BBC)

Photo: Drunken Monkey

Why do some people prefer bitter drinks? = Nips + whisky drop + port + beer fed me to reel!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Zonkey' baby Ippo draws crowds in Florence

(PawNation)

Photo: Chris Hertel

'Zonkey' baby Ippo draws crowds in Florence, Italy = Wow! Tiny crossbred icon. Papa zebra, donkey filly.

(by Julian Lofts)

Chris Brown enters rehab for anger issues

(The Independent)

Photo: Eva Rinaldi

Chris Brown enters rehab for anger issues = CB renews fan terror: "So, shiner? Bruise? Gash?"

(by Jason Lofts)