Deadly tornadoes hit US Midwest states

(BBC)

Photo: Sarge Devil

Deadly tornadoes hit US Midwest states = Twister has as yet, dealt its sudden doom.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mandela still unable to speak, says ex-wife Winnie

(BBC)

Photo: Festival Karsh Ottawa

Mandela still unable to speak, says ex-wife Winnie = Nelson, alas, exits life weak in bed. Upset, many wail.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Syria rebel chieftain killed; Assad forces bomb besieged town

(Reuters)

Photo: FreedomHouse

Syria rebel chieftain killed; Assad forces bomb besieged town = Died by fierce rocket bombing. Delete lowlife assassin Bashar!

(by Jason Lofts)

Meet Ubooly, the smart toy that can teach your child math

(VentureBeat)


Meet Ubooly, the smart toy that can teach your child math = O! Healthy to buy them! Educational chatter charms my tot!

(by Maurice Goddard)

White mayor, black wife: NYC shatters an image

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Bill de Blasio

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio = O, boys, I really wed black minority!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Dai Macedo Wins 2013 Miss Bum Bum Competition, Despite Controversy

(Huffington Post)

(video NSFW)

Dai Macedo wins Brazil's Miss Bum Bum competition despite controversy = Simplistic aim: Bonny bomb's curvaceous posterior dazes dim-witted men!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dai Macedo Wins Brazil's Miss Bum Bum Competition, Despite Controversy = Inspired TV comedy! Winsome limbs - S. American most bodacious butt prize

(by Jason Lofts)

My child is crying because...

(The Guardian)

Photo: GwiR

My child is crying because... = I'm busy, acidly screeching!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man Investigated by Police After Tesco Sold Him a Clay iPad

(Gizmodo)

Photo: Greater Manchester Police

Man investigated by the police after Tesco sold him a clay iPad = The company's peddling horsemeat as beef! I tactically avoid it.

(by Robert Jordan)

The poor old Colin Marsh = Scroll? Oh, mother, no iPad!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The evolving role of the Oxford English Dictionary

(Financial Times)

Photo: mrpolyonymous

The evolving role of the Oxford English Dictionary = Ovation of: Lo! Trendy high lexicon forever delights!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The evolving role of the Oxford English Dictionary = Very vital lexicon for high life (shortened not good)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Who were the democratic world's most unpopular leaders?

(The Daily Telegraph)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Who were the democratic world's most unpopular leaders? = The worst scorecard? People murmured, "Was it Hollande?" Ow!

(by Julian Lofts)

Robot Butt Developed By Dr. Benjamin Lok: The Cutting Edge Of 'Rear-search'?

(Huffington Post)


Robot Butt Developed By Dr. Benjamin Lok: The Cutting Edge Of 'Rear-search'? = A joke, buddy! Rectal researcher groped nth bottom (butt end of live being)

(by Jason Lofts)

Anti-rape underwear: it's not a joke

(Sydney Morning Herald)


Anti-rape underwear: it's not a joke = I adjust weak rear: no penetration

(by Mark McNamara)

David Truscott, Naked Cow Manure Fetishist, Transferred From Hospital To Prison

(Huffington Post)

Photo: CREDITS

David Truscott, Naked Cow Manure Fetishist, Transferred From Hospital To Prison = No hope for odd fat reckless introverted autistic man who strips in turds at farm

(by Julian Lofts)

Kevin Rudd: Farewell to Australia's polarising leader

(BBC)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Kevin Rudd: Farewell to Australia's polarising leader = I swear Australian Federal punks reviled Gillard too

(by Julian Lofts)

Miracle baby: Girl born at airport after pregnant typhoon victim swims for her life

(NBC News)

Photo: CAFOD

Miracle baby: Girl born at airport after pregnant typhoon victim swims for her life = NBC TV air neo-natal bairn Bea's first PR photo. Offer girl/mother pity, mercy. Grim! Wail!

(by Jason Lofts)

Toronto's Mayor McCrack has a problem and so does the city he leads

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: J (mtonic.com)

Toronto's Mayor McCrack has a problem and so does the city he leads = Moron boldly smokes cocaine, made death threats. Cops tarry. Chaos!

(by Julian Lofts)

Performance artist Pyotr Pavlensky nails testicles to Red Square cobblestone in Kremlin protest

(The Herald Sun)

Performance artist nails testicles to a Red Square cobblestone in a Kremlin protest = MOCKBA: Male protester perforates tender scrotal sac. Bestial intent? Neurosis? IQ nil?

(by Jason Lofts)

Millionaire founder of Pinkberry battered homeless beggar

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Schmidt-Family

Millionaire founder of Pinkberry battered homeless beggar = Berserk Mr "Yogurt Man" beat poor Daniel Bolding. If free, he lies.

(by Julian Lofts)

Tom Cruise Admits Katie Holmes Divorced Him to Protect Suri From Scientology

(Yahoo!)

Photo: iwantamonkey

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes = Lack the emotions. Made Suri.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Twitter flies high in dazzling debut

(The New Zealand Herald)

Illustration: Pete Simon

Twitter flies high in dazzling debut = Truth - debit-defining gilt swizzle. Ha!

(by Julian Lofts)