Plea deal reached in case of ricin-laced letters sent to Obama

(Washington Post)

Photo: Martin LaBar

Plea deal reached in case of ricin-laced letters sent to President Obama = Last elected leader sent fierce castor bean poison per candid hate mail

(by Jason Lofts)

Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger to become a great-grandfather

(The Salt Lake Tribune)

Photo: oddsock

Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger to become a great-grandfather = Fame or no, reckon old megastar Jagger's tight, celebrating!

(by Maurice Goddard)

French weathergirl stuns viewers with nude report

(The Daily Telegraph)

French weathergirl stuns viewers with nude report = The interviewer/porn star - rightful crudeness. Whew!

(by Julian Lofts)

Michael Jackson "accidentally killed himself" claims pop star's former doctor Conrad Murray

(The Independent)

Photo: Roadsidepictures

Michael Jackson "accidentally killed himself" claims pop star's former doctor Conrad Murray = Half mad, sick, cyclical insomniac, Jacko, calmly prompted ruthless MD for sedation. Real error!

(by Julian Lofts)

Tsarnaev indicted for weapon of mass destruction

(USA Today)

Photo: Wikimedia

Tsarnaev indicted for a weapon of mass destruction - charges could bring the death penalty = Adolescent WMD offender sent to try in US court. Case proven? Hang bastard high? Capital idea!

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama awards Medal of Freedom to Clinton and Winfrey

(BBC)

Photo: NASA

Obama awards Medal of Freedom to Clinton and Winfrey = Two famed and formidable American wonders of any lot!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Monty Python reunite to pay off their mortgages

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: jonnyphoto

Monty Python reunite to pay off their mortgages = Sort of pithy-potty-humor-generating-money feat

(by Julian Lofts)

Kim Kardashian goes topless, straddles Kanye West in rapper's 'Bound 2' music video

(New York Daily News)


Kim Kardashian goes topless, straddles Kanye West in rapper's 'Bound Two' music video = A motorbike in pseudo desert. Curvy KK strips and hangs loose. NW's pa's dismal, wet idea?

(by Jason Lofts)

Churchill polar bear cam shares 'amazing' live footage

Churchill polar bear cam shares 'amazing' live footage (CBC)

Photo: ucumari

Churchill polar bear cam shares 'amazing' live footage = Clan gather. Graphic frolicsome behaviour amazes all!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brussels widow 'slept with husband's corpse for a year'

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Stuck in Customs

Brussels widow 'slept with husband's corpse for a year' = Ha! Crass! What suppressed blowflies 'n odors? Bury it! Ew!

(by Julian Lofts)

Brussels widow 'slept with husband's corpse for a year' = Farce's world sure was: Happy bed bliss without snores!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Qatar's 'accidental vagina' stadium

(The New Zealand Herald)


Qatar's 'accidental vagina' stadium = Caveat: A grandstand as a licit quim

(by Julian Lofts)

At least seven dead as storms hit American midwest

( The Irish Times)

Photo: mr_balage

At least seven dead as storms hit American midwest = Mere mess as twisters claim devastation and death

(by Mark McNamara)

Deadly tornadoes hit US Midwest states

(BBC)

Photo: Sarge Devil

Deadly tornadoes hit US Midwest states = Twister has as yet, dealt its sudden doom.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mandela still unable to speak, says ex-wife Winnie

(BBC)

Photo: Festival Karsh Ottawa

Mandela still unable to speak, says ex-wife Winnie = Nelson, alas, exits life weak in bed. Upset, many wail.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Syria rebel chieftain killed; Assad forces bomb besieged town

(Reuters)

Photo: FreedomHouse

Syria rebel chieftain killed; Assad forces bomb besieged town = Died by fierce rocket bombing. Delete lowlife assassin Bashar!

(by Jason Lofts)

Meet Ubooly, the smart toy that can teach your child math

(VentureBeat)


Meet Ubooly, the smart toy that can teach your child math = O! Healthy to buy them! Educational chatter charms my tot!

(by Maurice Goddard)

White mayor, black wife: NYC shatters an image

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Bill de Blasio

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio = O, boys, I really wed black minority!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Dai Macedo Wins 2013 Miss Bum Bum Competition, Despite Controversy

(Huffington Post)

(video NSFW)

Dai Macedo wins Brazil's Miss Bum Bum competition despite controversy = Simplistic aim: Bonny bomb's curvaceous posterior dazes dim-witted men!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dai Macedo Wins Brazil's Miss Bum Bum Competition, Despite Controversy = Inspired TV comedy! Winsome limbs - S. American most bodacious butt prize

(by Jason Lofts)

My child is crying because...

(The Guardian)

Photo: GwiR

My child is crying because... = I'm busy, acidly screeching!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man Investigated by Police After Tesco Sold Him a Clay iPad

(Gizmodo)

Photo: Greater Manchester Police

Man investigated by the police after Tesco sold him a clay iPad = The company's peddling horsemeat as beef! I tactically avoid it.

(by Robert Jordan)

The poor old Colin Marsh = Scroll? Oh, mother, no iPad!

(by Aronas Pinchas)