Here's What You Need to Know About the Bird-Flu Case in Hong Kong

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: EarthOwned

Bird-Flu Cases in Hong Kong = SOS! Beginning of hard luck

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Underwater hotel rooms: Is down becoming the new up?

(BBC)


Underwater hotel rooms: Is down becoming the new up? = A wet condominium, neoprene bed rugs? The worst! Howl!

(by Julian Lofts)

So, men and women's brains are wired differently - but it's not that simple

(The Guardian)

Photo: watchmojo

So, men and women's brains are wired differently - but it's not that simple = Man brays: "It's True! Blonde wife's from another planet in dim-wittedness!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Australian Thalidomide victims settle class action

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: 4lfie

Australian Thalidomide victims settle class action = A civil suit? O, it's that old 'armless anti-emetic scandal.....

(by Julian Lofts)

Argentine car mechanic invents device to help difficult births

(The Daily Telegraph)


Argentine car mechanic invents device to help difficult births = Vaunt epic "child-fetcher" (obstetric machine delivering infants)

(by Jason Lofts)

Moment divers found man trapped alive in sunken ship

(BBC)


Moment divers found a Nigerian cook trapped alive in sunken ship = O mindful Neptune's divine air pocket saving damp Harrison Okene

(by Chris Sturdy)

Medical Mystery: Student Stops Needing Sleep

(Yahoo!)

Illustration: Frits Ahlefeldt

Cristina Speirs = Re: it's nap crisis

(by Aronas Pinchas)

This Beauty Treatment Involving Eels Will Literally Make Your Penis Shrivel With Fear

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Trevira1

This beauty treatment involving eels will literally make your penis shrivel with fear = Shriek! I've vile slimy little Asian swamp eel entering fully by urethra! Oh, won't it travel?

(by Jason Lofts)

Ex-UBS banker Weil agrees to extradition to US

(Swissinfo)

Photo: twicepix

Ex-UBS banker Weil agrees to extradition to US = IRS being outed - likes to exert war on tax abuse

(by Jason Lofts)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight

(24/7 Wall St.)

Photo: Malingering

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Many watch calories stewing, eh?

(by Robert Jordan)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Why? Manic eaters then swig Cola!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Now I eat, chewing starchy meals

(by Jason Lofts)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Warnings while they eat Mac's & Co?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Do elephants grieve like people do?

(BBC)

Photo: rageforst

Do elephants grieve like people do? = O! Grave deep pine look spelled it, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Berlusconi Accused of Bribing 'Bunga Bunga' Witnesses

(Time)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Berlusconi Accused of Bribing 'Bunga Bunga' Witnesses = Buccaneer SB fornicated, was using bungs, i.e. lubing? SOB!

(by Jason Lofts)

The word bung is a slang for a bribe, as is lubing.

Barack Obama tells Hollywood it has 'responsibility' on gun violence

(The Daily Telegraph)

Chart: Cory M. Grenier

Barack Obama tells Hollywood it has to demonstrate more 'responsibility' on gun violence = No balding Bruce Willis or no tormented macho Sylvester Stallone. Boohoo. A mistake. A pity!

(by Julian Lofts)

Judge rejects OJ Simpson's bid for retrial

(BBC)

Photo: Project M·A·R·C

Judge has rejected OJ Simpson's bid for retrial = Mr OJS in jail, depressed. Hard to beg for justice!

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama defends Iran policy amid Israel anger

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: marsmet546

Obama defends Iran policy amid Israel anger = An American Pres. said: 'Brief, mainly good deal!'

(by Aronas Pichas)

Saatchi accused Nigella Lawson of drug-taking, court hears

(BBC)

Photo: Saima

Saatchi accused Nigella Lawson of drug-taking, court hears = Chef took cocaine (a Class A drug) during a wealth sting? A slur!

(by Jason Lofts)

Mother and dead son's de facto in bitter legal battle over ashes

(Western Australia News)

Photo: kundalini

Mother and dead son's de facto in bitter legal battle over ashes = The 'dead bit' forgotten as clan bad lot seethe over lad's remains

(by Mark McNamara)

Syria conflict: Children 'targeted by snipers'

(BBC)

Photo: UNHCR

Syria conflict: Children 'targeted by snipers' = Protesters decry grisly infanticide (blanch)

(by Julian Lofts)

Jermaine Lloyd Arrested Naked - Except For The Turban And High Heels

(Huffington Post)

Photo: cobalt123

Jermaine Lloyd Arrested Naked - Except For The Turban And High Heels = Aargh, indecent exposure! Lonely mad hatter jerk flash'd behind tree

(by Jason Lofts)

Crack-smoking Toronto mayor more popular than Obama

(RT)

Photo: designwallah

Crack-smoking Toronto mayor more popular than Obama = Oh look, rampant bar guy partook as commoner. Romantic!

(by Dharam)