World leaders not ready for reconciliation at Mandela memorial

(The Guardian)

Photo: Ted Eytan

World leaders not ready for reconciliation at Mandela memorial = Ode to an old cellmate - America, Israel and Iran friendly tomorrow?

(by Julian Lofts)

Leak: Government spies snooped in 'Warcraft,' other games

(CNN)

Cartoon: EFF

Leak: Government spies snooped in 'Warcraft,' other games = Proof! Sneaks weave nets, interrogate champ gold miners

(by Mike Hammond)

Dylan's Candor Gets Misconstrued as Hate Speech in France

(The Daily Beast)

Photo: Paul Townsend

Bob Dylan's candor gets misconstrued as a hate speech in France = Ha, CRICCF gaped at 'Serbs sense Croatian blood'. Shunned. Amnesty?

[*CRICCF = Council of Croats in France]

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama shortens Christmas Tree countdown

(USA Today)

Photo: afagen

Obama shortens Christmas Tree countdown = Ten seconds rainstorm-bather was too much!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Scientists to Congress: We Have the Technology to Find Alien Life

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: mendhak

Scientists to Congress: We have the technology to find alien life = No sci-fi! Sent to Stonehenge, we'll try flashing codes to achieve it!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Scientists to Congress: We have the technology to find alien life = O, we can detect green natives of high intellect (not foolish & sissy)!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Nelson Mandela dies aged 95: 10 of his most inspiring quotes

(Metro)

Photo: Werner Vermaak

'We stand here today as nothing more than a representative of the millions of our people who dared to rise up against a social system whose very essence is war, violence, racism, oppression, repression and the impoverishment of an entire people' = Nelson Mandela's epic Oslo message. In memoriam est: A ghetto lawyer, ANC anti-apartheid revolutionary, a prisoner, politician, President, forever the patriot, the awesome foe of oppression. The corpse sends shivers down everyone's spine. We hush.

(by Jason Lofts)

Nelson Mandela dies: Reaction and developments - live

(One News Page)

Photo: Debris2008

Reaction and developments - live = Nelson Mandela revived! Epic! OTT!

(by Julian Lofrs)

Nelson Mandela: the meaning of the Madiba magic

(Financial Times)

Photo: walt74

Nelson Mandela: the meaning of the Madiba magic = Amiable man's a legend in aching moment of death

(by Maurice Goddard)

NY court asked to give chimpanzee 'legal person' status

(BBC)

Photo: Wikimedia

NY court asked to give chimpanzee 'legal person' status = Apes scutter! All voted: "Try keeping humans in zoo cages!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Yasser Arafat 'was not poisoned' - leaked French report

(BBC)

Photo: MATEUS

Yasser Arafat 'was not poisoned' - leaked French report concludes man died from a 'um, generalised infection' = Eminent ace doctors' analysis in France ends: "Dead. Polonium... er, what polonium?" Freak errors? Effaced? Staged?

(by Jason Lofts)

Autopsy blames impact and fire for actor Paul Walker's death

(CNN)

Photo: dfirecop

Autopsy blames impact and fire for actor Paul Walker's death = Doctor: "A fatal smash. Trauma ferocity, burns killed papa." Weep!

[Paul Walker leaves behind a 15-year-old daughter]

(by Jason Lofts)

Naked hotel guest who burst out of cupboard with hose pipe up his bottom walks free from jail

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Nhoj Leunamme

Naked hotel guest who burst out of a cupboard with a hose pipe up his bottom walked free from jail = WTF? Toked up rogue Joseph Small urinated, wet carpet. How abused staff boil, abhor him. OK, out! (I hope)

(by Jason Lofts)

Bob Dylan sued for alleged racism over remarks about Croatians

(The Guardian)

Photo: Stoned59

Bob Dylan sued for alleged racism over remarks about Croatians = Old crooner sabotaged by a fearsome slur. Bad karma! Civil unrest!

(by Julian Lofts)

Here's What You Need to Know About the Bird-Flu Case in Hong Kong

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: EarthOwned

Bird-Flu Cases in Hong Kong = SOS! Beginning of hard luck

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Underwater hotel rooms: Is down becoming the new up?

(BBC)


Underwater hotel rooms: Is down becoming the new up? = A wet condominium, neoprene bed rugs? The worst! Howl!

(by Julian Lofts)

So, men and women's brains are wired differently - but it's not that simple

(The Guardian)

Photo: watchmojo

So, men and women's brains are wired differently - but it's not that simple = Man brays: "It's True! Blonde wife's from another planet in dim-wittedness!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Australian Thalidomide victims settle class action

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: 4lfie

Australian Thalidomide victims settle class action = A civil suit? O, it's that old 'armless anti-emetic scandal.....

(by Julian Lofts)

Argentine car mechanic invents device to help difficult births

(The Daily Telegraph)


Argentine car mechanic invents device to help difficult births = Vaunt epic "child-fetcher" (obstetric machine delivering infants)

(by Jason Lofts)

Moment divers found man trapped alive in sunken ship

(BBC)


Moment divers found a Nigerian cook trapped alive in sunken ship = O mindful Neptune's divine air pocket saving damp Harrison Okene

(by Chris Sturdy)

Medical Mystery: Student Stops Needing Sleep

(Yahoo!)

Illustration: Frits Ahlefeldt

Cristina Speirs = Re: it's nap crisis

(by Aronas Pinchas)