Ikea toy wolf Lufsig gets new name after its claim to fame

(South China Morning Post)

Photo: Yuen Yan

Ikea toy Lufsig gets new name after its claim to fame = Wackiest smutty name for female genitalia fits ego

(by Julian Lofts)

Snow Falls In Cairo For The First Time In More Than 100 Years

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Wendy

Snow Falls In Cairo For The First Time In More Than Hundred Years = Wherein unfamiliar cold from air and shiny frost on the streets

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The return of the female condom?

(BBC)

Photo: Emily Correia

Female condom = Come, fond male!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The return of the female condom? = "A turnoff!" - Oh, delete her comment

(by Julian Lofts)

Bruno Mars beats out Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift as he is named Billboard's Artist Of The Year after selling nearly 2M records

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Chrizta T.

Billboard Artist of the Year: 1. Bruno Mars 2. Taylor Swift 3. Justin Timberlake ... LAST Miley Cyrus = 1. It's... BM! 2. Really tarty also-ran 3. Just a burnt out Bilbo ... Ire! Smiley failed. 'Twerky for Christmas'

(by Jason Lofts)

Bruce Jenner May Flatten His Adam's Apple Through Plastic Surgery

(Huffington Post)

Photo: jla0379

Bruce May Flatten His Adam's Apple Through Plastic Surgery = Olympic star - he regrets hump. Cartilageplasty? Uh, bad! Snafu!

(by Julian Lofts)

Fox News host Megyn Kelly stands by 'Santa is white' comments, calls critics 'humorless'

(Yahoo! News)

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'Santa Claus and Jesus Christ are white men' = Certain, man, she just was unleashed racist

(by Aronas Pinchas)

James Bond's drinking would have killed him say Nottingham doctors

(Nottingham Post)

Photo: Edmond Wells

James Bond's drinking would have killed him say Nottingham doctors = Drank a lot: Jameson bonded whisky, gin, mild stout, LVMH... hic, groan... dies!

(by Jason Lofts)

The poisoning of the Pacific: USA in danger?

(Pravda)

Photo: Hamed Saber

The poisoning of the Pacific: USA in danger? = Causing the fish to die. Go profane in panic!

(by Jason Lofts)

Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi 'lied in court', Elisabetta Grillo says

(BBC)

Photo: Saima

Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi 'lied in court', Elisabetta Grillo says = Tallyho! A card swindle. Latest shrill cocaine-abusing allegations arise

(by Jason Lofts)

Docs explain why James Bond prefers his martinis 'shaken, not stirred'

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: James Vaughan

Doctors explain why Bond prefers his martinis 'shaken, not stirred' = Header: Tremors - spy drowns in drink - toxic habit shortens lifespan

(by Julian Lofts)

Simulations back up theory that Universe is a hologram

(Nature)

Photo: NASA

Simulations back up theory that Universe is hologram = To that, normal skeptics (or even I) say, "Humbug! Hilarious!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Ancient Humans Had Sex with Mystery Relatives

(Discovery)

Photo: Jaroslav A. Polák

Ancient Humans Had Sex with Mystery Relatives = Hi! Mutants mix via Neanderthals they screw, yes?

(by Maurice Goddard)

North Korea dictator Kim Jong Un has his own uncle executed and calls him 'despicable human scum'

(Evening Standard)

Photo: Zennie Abraham

North Korea dictator Kim Jong Un has his own uncle executed and calls him 'despicable human scum' = Bullheaded noxious paranoiac henchman! Unjust mad Commie ruler's tight wicked clench, stank so!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Historic' snow storms spread havoc and misery across the Middle East

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Tyler Wilson

'Historic' snow storms spread havoc and misery across the Middle East = Cold shivery White Christmas storm is no one's dream as cars stop dead!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man Sets Gun On Toilet Paper Dispenser While Using Bathroom, Gun Goes Off

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Pascal

Man sets gun on toilet paper dispenser while using bathroom, gun goes off = Ingenue man shits. Weapon slips off, trigger detonates - BOOM! Help us! Run, go!

(by Jason Lofts)

North Korea executes Kim Jong-un's uncle as a traitor

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Wikimedia

"Despicable human scum Jang, who was worse than a dog, perpetrated thrice-cursed acts of treachery in betrayal of such profound trust and warmest paternal love shown by the party and the leader for him" = Plotter uncle of Jong-un was incarcerated, accused by brutal amoral nephew ('revered' head of that Communist state) for past errors, treason and perfidy. What? Why? How? PS: Army behind hated chap's slaughter.

(by Jason Lofts)

Pope Francis named Time Magazine's Person of the Year

(BBC)

Photo: Catholic Church

Pope Francis named Time Magazine's Person of the Year = Famed praying saint! So more fame's on then? Peace Prize?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Shocking case of intergenerational child abuse

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Soon

Shocking case of intergenerational child abuse = Egad, chronic enfeebling incest shook Australia!

(by Jason Lofts)

Pope Francis is Time person of the year

(Yahoo! News)


Pope Francis is Time person of the year = Story of S. American priest - he fine Pope!

(by Julian Lofts)

Fake 'signer' at Mandela memorial outrages deaf

(Yahoo! News)

Fake 'signer' at Mandela memorial outrages deaf South Africans = Is a gaffe! Hokum info! Amateur translator elegised a sacred man.

(by Julian Lofts)