Surgeon "branded initials on to patient's liver"

(The Times)

Photo: Army Medicine

Surgeon "branded his initials on to patient's liver" = Insensitive Dr "Leonardo" autographs in bile tints

(by Julian Lofts)

Miley Cyrus Bares Midriff In Crop Top, Low-Cut Suspender Skirt

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Vivian Arita

Miley Cyrus bares her midriff in a crop top, low-cut suspender skirt = Furious improper dirty twerks by music princess. A farce - hell, don't!

(by Jason Lofts)

We still want to cast Vladimir Putin out, say freed Pussy Riot members

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Playing Futures

We still want to cast Vladimir Putin out, say freed Pussy Riot members = Bawdy feminists protest at a most wily, vulturous President. Miracle!

(by Julian Lofts)

We still want to cast Vladimir Putin out, say freed Pussy Riot members = Move of witty liberated musicians: Well, tatty Russian Pres. must drop!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Henri Rechatin, Tightrope Walker Who Crossed Niagara Falls, Dies

(Huffington Post)

Henri Rechatin, Tightrope Walker Who Crossed Niagara Falls, Dies = St-Etienne high wire walker, ascends God's altar chair for halo. RIP

(by Julian Lofts)

Suspect in killing of Australian Chris Lane tweeted: 'time to start taken life's'

(CNN)

Photo: Nicole G

A suspect in killing of Australian Chris Lane tweeted: "time to start taken life's" (sic) = Gall at Chief Keef rap line. Isn't it to title murder count assailant as sickest swine?

(by Jason Lofts)

Brain damage fear hits junior American football

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Judy Breck

Brain damage fear hits junior American football = A lot of jarring can bruise brain. Aid - a foam helmet?

(by Julian Lofts)

Did Nigella Lawson Really Lie About Her Drug Use?

(Marie Claire)

Photo: Taku

Nigella Lucy Lawson's a star chef = A saucy wench's flagrant lies. LOL!

(by Jason Lofts)

Secret Life of Walter Mitty, review

(The Daily Telegraph)


The Secret Life of Walter Mitty = Stiller - effete twit or ace? (myth)

(by Julian Lofts)

Bill Gates outs himself as Reddit user's secret Santa

(The Daily Telegraph)

Bill Gates outs himself as Reddit user's secret Santa = Sigh - detest it as absurd case of relentless 'altruism'

(by Julian Lofts)

Nigella Lawson faces police drugs probe

(KCCI News)

Photo: Saima Says

Nigella Lawson (Saatchi) faces police drugs probe = Coppers: Was L's grand habit illegal use of cocaine?

(by Jason Lofts)

From nightclub waster to world champion: The amazing story of Stuey Hall

(Yahoo! Eurosport)

Photo: Adam Fagen

Stuey Hall: From nightclub waster to world champion = How a hellbent crusty pugilist from Darlo won match

(by Julian Lofts)

Pussy Riot Members Released From Prison, Slam Russian Government

(Rolling Stone)

Photo: Filippo

Pussy Riot members released from prison, slam Russian government = Or: Amnesty band Misses unremorseful, slamming oppressive terror

(by Jason Lofts)

Detainees stitch lips in protest

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Chelsea Gomez

Detainees stitch lips in protest = Listen, isn't this topic desperate?

(by Julian Lofts)

Man Threw Son, 3, From High-Rise Before Jumping to His Death, Police Say

(The New York Times)

Photo: Adam Foster

Man threw son, three, from high-rise before jumping to his death, police say = O, just imagine - how can he drop boy then perish himself? Grief tears mother.

(by Jason Lofts)

At least two killed as storms tear through Arkansas, Mississippi

(One News Page)

Photo: Chris Ford

At least two were killed as storms tear through Arkansas and Mississippi = A pessimist woe grips NE. A star drama as latest killer winds trash, k.o. South

(by Jason Lofts)

US mom uses social media to scatter son's ashes

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Sacha Fernandez

US mom uses social media to scatter son's ashes = So he urned (sic) a 'simulcast' - Ma tosses same soot

(by Julian Lofts)

Offensive tweet incurs wrath of online world

(Stuff.co.nz)


Offensive tweet incurs wrath of online world = Ow! We find her worst racist effluent vile. No! No!

(by Julian Lofts)

World's first artificial heart implant a success

(TVNZ)


The world's first artificial heart implant a success = Will cardiac machine parts rust/fail? The stress of it!

(by Julian Lofts)

Angels exist but have no wings, says Catholic 'angelologist'

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Freestone Wilson

Angels exist but have no wings, says Catholic 'angelologist' = Solving a bogus existential angst cliche - was a ghostly one

(by Julian Lofts)

PS: What angels look like as described in the Bible? See illustrations here.

NSA leaks: UK and US spying targets revealed

(BBC)

Illustration: Joe Pemberton

NSA leaks: UK and US spying targets revealed = Vast sneaky stalking grasped EU, UN leaders...

(by Jason Lofts)