Is It Remotely Plausible That Kim Jong-un Had His Uncle Eaten By 120 Dogs?

(Houston Chronicle)

Photo: Zennie Abraham

Is it remotely plausible that Kim Jong-un had his uncle eaten by dogs? = Stop, i.e. shut out Jang - maimed, killed by a hungry canine's bites. To hell!

(by Jason Lofts)

Strong winter storm pushes into the Northeast

(Philly.com)

Photo: Jason Costomiris

Strong winter storm pushes into the Northeast = Ohio's snow torrents, temps start hurting the NE

(by Jason Lofts)

Palestinian ambassador to Prague dies in accidental explosion

(DEBKAfile)

Photo: Jeannette E. Spaghetti

Accidental Death of the Palestinian Ambassador in Prague = Ironic a man detonated a huge blast; his trap placed in a 'safe'!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Michael Schumacher's manager to be interviewed about skiing accident

(The Guardian)


Michael Schumacher's manageress to be interviewed about skiing accident = Sabine Kehm concocts view? As aged racer Schumi gained inertia, helmet bust?

(by Jason Lofts)

Dutchman van Gerwen claims first world title

(Reuters)

Photo: Richard Matthews

Dutchman van Gerwen claims first world title = Tell me if Dutch giant wins darts crown. Marvel!

(by Julian Lofts)

Dubai 2014 firework display breaks world record: Guinness

(Yahoo! News)

Dubai firework display breaks world record = Colored sparks by Arab (we did lurid firework!)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

OJ Simpson believed to have brain cancer - report

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Marc Levi

"I feel the end coming. But I don't want to die in prison like common jailhouse scum." = Cue: "Me, I killed Brown and Goldman, I con men, thief too" intuits O "The Juice" Simpson.

(by Julian Lofts)

Palestinian ambassador to Prague killed in safe explosion

(The Guardian)

Photo: Estitxu Carton

The Palestinian ambassador to Prague was killed in a safe explosion = Relax Israeli people! Wannabe thugs (Kidon?) assassinate diplomat oaf

[The Kidon is an elite group of expert assassins who operate under the Caesarea branch of Mossad]

(by Julian Lofts)

One of the most valuable banknotes in the world is about to vanish

(Quartz)

Photo: Wikimedia

One of the most valuable banknotes in the world is about to vanish = Banks of Latvia have new Euro denomination. Best shut tollbooths.

(by Julian Lofts)

Worst Genocide Leaders

(Yahoo! News)

China's Mao Zedong, Germany's Adolf Hitler,Soviet Union's Joseph Stalin, Japan's Hideki Tojo = i.e. A damning history: Hazards? Jihad? Joke? No! Savages just shot millions of innocent people

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Colorado pot shops' debut on world stage

(Denver Post)

Photo: Adam Jones

Colorado pot shops' debut on the world stage = Stop 'blow' too! Dopeheads hate drug controls.

(by Julian Lofts)

Disguised reporter tries to sneak into Schumacher's hospital room

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Motorclan

A disguised reporter tries to sneak into Michael Schumacher's hospital room in Grenoble = Horror! Prank priest (media leech) lied, began issuing last rites to comatose hero Schumi. No!

(by Julian Lofts)

Beyonce criticised for sampling Challenger Space Shuttle disaster in love song

(Metro)

Beyonce criticised for sampling Challenger Space Shuttle disaster in love song hit = Cor, indiscreet lapse by accomplished singer - even astronaut ghosts feel it chilling!

(by Jason Lofts)

Michael Schumacher 'fighting for life' after ski accident

(BBC)

Photo: exit1979

Racing ace Schumacher 'fighting for life' after ski accident near Meribel = In effect, acceleration skiing harmed his cerebrum. A cliffhanger. Tragic.

(by Julian Lofts)

Naked Bride: Couple Arrested After They Got Married Completely Nude While Crowd Watched

(Egistville)

Photo: M.G. Kafkas

The bride Gypsy Taub and groom Jamyz Smith = Jumpy zest? Both did shaggy, bare matrimony

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Miley Cyrus And Kellan Lutz Fuel Dating Rumors In Las Vegas

(Huffington Post)


Miley Cyrus and Kellan Lutz fuel dating rumors in Las Vegas = A ditzy singer and smug male actor's funky lull. Unreal lives.

(by Jason Lofts)

Second Blast Hits Russia, Raising Olympic Fears

(The New York Times)

Photo: foxmental

The Second Blast Hits Russia on a Monday , Raising Olympic Fears = Ghastly end. Bus dynamite assassination. Moral: price for Sochi?

(by Jason Lofts)

Surgeon "branded initials on to patient's liver"

(The Times)

Photo: Army Medicine

Surgeon "branded his initials on to patient's liver" = Insensitive Dr "Leonardo" autographs in bile tints

(by Julian Lofts)

Miley Cyrus Bares Midriff In Crop Top, Low-Cut Suspender Skirt

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Vivian Arita

Miley Cyrus bares her midriff in a crop top, low-cut suspender skirt = Furious improper dirty twerks by music princess. A farce - hell, don't!

(by Jason Lofts)

We still want to cast Vladimir Putin out, say freed Pussy Riot members

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Playing Futures

We still want to cast Vladimir Putin out, say freed Pussy Riot members = Bawdy feminists protest at a most wily, vulturous President. Miracle!

(by Julian Lofts)

We still want to cast Vladimir Putin out, say freed Pussy Riot members = Move of witty liberated musicians: Well, tatty Russian Pres. must drop!

(by Aronas Pinchas)