Dieudonne acquitted over video on killer of French Jew

(BBC)

Photo: Alexandre Hervaud

Dieudonne acquitted in French case = One racist feud quenched in an edict

(by Jason Lofts)

German minister calls for sanctions threat against Ukraine

(The Guardian)

Photo: World Economic Forum

German minister calls for sanctions threat against Ukraine = Angela Merkel trusts an anarchic state. Is firm - "No rationings!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Coffee can make women's breasts smaller: Swedish study

(The Local)

Photo: Marc Falardeau

Coffee can make women's breasts smaller: Swedish study = Re: Caffeine makes women's chests less busty - a mad world!

(by Julian Lofts)

Hundreds of thousands without power after Northeast storm

(Reuters)

Photo: Canadian Pacific

Hundreds of thousands without any power after Northeast storm = Foot of snow shut us down. Homes under threat. Tarry in death traps?

(by Jason Lofts)

Prostitute museum opens in Amsterdam

(Brisbane Times)

Photo: Red Light Secrets

Prostitute museum opens in Amsterdam = Pimp's mementos: not true Marie Tussaud

(by Mark McNamara)

Prostitute museum opens in Amsterdam = Menu: It summed a strumpet's operations

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Rats bigger than sheep could roam earth one day

(Zee News)

Photo: Scott

Rats bigger than sheep could roam earth one day = Yeah! Goliath rodents' brute hordes can rampage!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Feds Warn Russian Flights About Toothpaste Bombs

(NBC News)

Photo: Pieter van Marion

Feds Warn Russian Planes About Toothpaste Bombs = USA's stunt stopped an Aeroflot wash-basin bomber

(by Mark McNamara)

TfL Tube strike

(MSN News)

Graphic: Jeremy Waite

TfL Tube strike = It left bus trek

(by Robert Jordan)

Internet Explorer Continues To Gain Browser Market Share

(Microsoft News)

Photo: Hash Milhan

Microsoft Internet Explorer = Moron's free explicit torrent

(by Jason Lofts)

Carroll's early bath...but Webster's in it after ending 250-mile charity run at Upton Park

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Wikimedia

Sky's Charlie Webster completes a charity run for Women's Aid = Nice surprise for West Ham's Andy Carroll. Ice bath? Ok, my sweet!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Russia in the limelight as Olympic games near

(Washington Post)

Photo: Stefan Krasowski

Russia in the limelight as Olympic games near = Putin is miming Sochi stage rehearsal lamely

(by Jason Lofts)

What Pete Seeger Taught Me About Activism

(Mother Jones)

Photo: kooky

What Pete Seeger Taught Me About Activism = Taught peace-time message but hit war vote

(by Mark McNamara)

The glacier which may have sunk the Titanic is now moving at record speeds

(The Irish Independent)

Photo: Christine Zenino

The glacier which may have sunk the Titanic is now moving at record speeds = Which deviled way? Monster thick treacherous menace to ships navigating!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Farrow claims 'untrue,' 'disgraceful,' Allen says

(The New Zealand Herald)

Illustration: Luke Siemens

Farrow claims 'untrue,' 'disgraceful,' Allen says = "Incest rumors?" I guffaw "Alas, Dylan's real cruel!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Stars pay tribute to actor Philip Seymour Hoffman

(BBC)

Photo: Justin Hoch

Stars pay tribute to actor Philip Seymour Hoffman = By this, a RIP rose up to triumphant lofty Oscar fame

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sochi Has Been Poisoning Stray Dogs Before The Olympics

(Yahoo!)

Graphic: Giga Paitchadze

Sochi Has Been Poisoning Stray Dogs Before The Olympics = Ooh, shaggy species of canines do horribly bite spotsmen!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Philip Seymour Hoffman dead

(Stuff.co.nz)

Caricature: Ben Northern

Philip Seymour Hoffman dead = Unhappy mood framed his life

(by Julian Lofts)

Florida Teacher Accused of Being Drunk at School Fights to Keep Job

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Jürgen Fauth

Teacher Erin Cougill = Lecture (hic!)... Gin or ale?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'Girl with a Pearl Earring' creates stir in Italy

(Yahoo! News)

Art: Mike Baker

Dutch Johannes Vermeer's "Girl with a Pearl Earring" = Painter drew juvenile gal. He airs her strong charm.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The First Step to World Peace

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Vinoth Chandar

The First Step to World Peace = "Stop the war!" I reflected, "Stop!"

(by Julian Lofts)