Schapelle Corby granted parole

(nineMSN)

Photo: publik16

Schapelle Corby is granted parole = Angle: a deplorable psychotic errs

(by Julian Lofts)

'What's the problem?': Olympic committee officials say nothing wrong with faking footage of opening ceremony's now infamous five-ring lighting blunder that has been mocked around the world

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Marcus & Sue

'What's the problem?': The Olympic committee officials say nothing was wrong with faking footage of opening ceremony's now infamous five-ring lighting blunder that has been mocked around the world = Wow! Big milestone. Very mnemonic of the Mad Hatter's tea party. Phew! Putin (he, gushing bonhomie) gets off ogling AK* (Alice In Wonderland?) who's on the track in front of millions. Huge crowd scoff at bigamy.
[*Alina Kabayeva - Putin's mistress]

(by Julian Lofts)

Teen would-be beauty queen dream has plastic sewn to her tongue to stop her eating

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: BBC

Teen would-be beauty queen dream has plastic sewn to her tongue to stop her eating = Plea: Ugly mutt needs an aesthetic surgeon to operate on her to win quest. Bah, dweeb!

(by Julian Lofts)

Student takes selfie with dead body, posts it on Instagram

(The Independent)

Photo: Instagram

US student takes a selfie with dead body, posts it on Instagram = Bad stunt at morgue - kid has no sense of style. It is a twisted PDA
[PDA = Public Display of Affection]

(by Julian Lofts)

Wendi Deng's love note for Tony Blair published

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Oxfam

Wendi Deng's love note for Tony Blair published = Bling wife: "Don't deny I love Rupert - he's an old SOB!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Russell Brand: Hoffman death due to 'stupid' drug laws

(USA Today)

Photo: J Miller

"In spite of his life seeming superficially great, in spite of all the praise and accolades, in spite of all the loving friends and family, there is a predominant voice in the mind of an addict that supersedes all reason and that voice wants you dead," Brand says. = Philip Seymour Hoffman was one of the finest actors of his generation. Life can be insane and fatal, sadly. Addicts - pills and drugs are NOT the solution. It is an accident. It is a tragedy. Please send prayers to Mimi and the children. Pip is deified. Vale. Vale. Vale.

(by Julian Lofts)

Dieudonne acquitted over video on killer of French Jew

(BBC)

Photo: Alexandre Hervaud

Dieudonne acquitted in French case = One racist feud quenched in an edict

(by Jason Lofts)

German minister calls for sanctions threat against Ukraine

(The Guardian)

Photo: World Economic Forum

German minister calls for sanctions threat against Ukraine = Angela Merkel trusts an anarchic state. Is firm - "No rationings!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Coffee can make women's breasts smaller: Swedish study

(The Local)

Photo: Marc Falardeau

Coffee can make women's breasts smaller: Swedish study = Re: Caffeine makes women's chests less busty - a mad world!

(by Julian Lofts)

Hundreds of thousands without power after Northeast storm

(Reuters)

Photo: Canadian Pacific

Hundreds of thousands without any power after Northeast storm = Foot of snow shut us down. Homes under threat. Tarry in death traps?

(by Jason Lofts)

Prostitute museum opens in Amsterdam

(Brisbane Times)

Photo: Red Light Secrets

Prostitute museum opens in Amsterdam = Pimp's mementos: not true Marie Tussaud

(by Mark McNamara)

Prostitute museum opens in Amsterdam = Menu: It summed a strumpet's operations

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Rats bigger than sheep could roam earth one day

(Zee News)

Photo: Scott

Rats bigger than sheep could roam earth one day = Yeah! Goliath rodents' brute hordes can rampage!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Feds Warn Russian Flights About Toothpaste Bombs

(NBC News)

Photo: Pieter van Marion

Feds Warn Russian Planes About Toothpaste Bombs = USA's stunt stopped an Aeroflot wash-basin bomber

(by Mark McNamara)

TfL Tube strike

(MSN News)

Graphic: Jeremy Waite

TfL Tube strike = It left bus trek

(by Robert Jordan)

Internet Explorer Continues To Gain Browser Market Share

(Microsoft News)

Photo: Hash Milhan

Microsoft Internet Explorer = Moron's free explicit torrent

(by Jason Lofts)

Carroll's early bath...but Webster's in it after ending 250-mile charity run at Upton Park

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Wikimedia

Sky's Charlie Webster completes a charity run for Women's Aid = Nice surprise for West Ham's Andy Carroll. Ice bath? Ok, my sweet!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Russia in the limelight as Olympic games near

(Washington Post)

Photo: Stefan Krasowski

Russia in the limelight as Olympic games near = Putin is miming Sochi stage rehearsal lamely

(by Jason Lofts)

What Pete Seeger Taught Me About Activism

(Mother Jones)

Photo: kooky

What Pete Seeger Taught Me About Activism = Taught peace-time message but hit war vote

(by Mark McNamara)

The glacier which may have sunk the Titanic is now moving at record speeds

(The Irish Independent)

Photo: Christine Zenino

The glacier which may have sunk the Titanic is now moving at record speeds = Which deviled way? Monster thick treacherous menace to ships navigating!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Farrow claims 'untrue,' 'disgraceful,' Allen says

(The New Zealand Herald)

Illustration: Luke Siemens

Farrow claims 'untrue,' 'disgraceful,' Allen says = "Incest rumors?" I guffaw "Alas, Dylan's real cruel!"

(by Julian Lofts)