Revealed: How parts of our bodies get pudgy

(The New Zealand Herald)


Revealed: How parts of our bodies get pudgy but others don't = We devour stodgy food, donuts, batter, a burger, hot pies. Help!

(by Julian Lofts)

Little faith in China's war on pollution

(Asia Times)


Little faith in China's war on pollution = Continual pall? Oh, filthiest air in town!

(by Mark McNamara)

Is North Korea forcing all university-aged men to get a 'Dear Leader Kim Jong-un' haircut?

(National Post)

Is North Korea forcing all university-aged men to get a 'Dear Leader Kim Jong-un' haircut? = A frightening saturated autocracy! Millions run to heed one raving mad ogre-like jerk.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Another poll shocker for Ed Miliband and Labour as four in ten voters think he's 'weird'

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

Another poll shocker for Ed Miliband and Labour as four in ten voters think he's 'weird' = David Cameron: "In truth, poor nuttier bloke is half-ill. He's an odd born freak who sneers!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope Accepts Resignation of High-Spending German Bishop

(The New York Times)

Photo: Wikimedia

Pope Accepts Resignation of High-Spending German Bishop = The fine nit has gone, and pig's big shopping comes a cropper!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Four world leaders

Photo: G8 UK

1: Barack Hussein Obama
2: David William Donald Cameron
3: Angela Dorothea Merkel
4: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
=
1: A bold Democrat in America
2: A vivid PM in the UK ails
3: A hard dull German dame
4: A horrible vodka villain in Moscow!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Oscar Pistorius girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp: You scare me

(BBC)

Photo: Lwp Kommunikáció

Oscar Pistorius girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp: You scare me = Spookier creepy SMS message in virtual fear, read in court.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Flight 370 Families to Malaysian Government: You're 'Executioners'

(Mashable)

Photo: Prachatai

The beleaguered Malaysian PM, Najib Tun Razak = A plane at sea - Beijing amaze KL by a 'murder' hunt!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Eighteen people missing after fatal Washington landslide

(The Guardian)

Photo: WSDOT

Eighteen people missing after fatal Washington mudslide = Emergent news: Stillaguamish flooding happened. It is fate.

(by Julian Lofts)

Maeve Binchy leaves millions in will to friends and charities

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: orionpozo

Maeve Binchy leaves millions in will to friends and charities = Nice, divine, lovable writer dies, has left many millions in cash

(by Julian Lofts)

Humans can sniff more than a trillion different smells, research shows

(Sydney Morning Herald)

Photo: Jeremy Marr

Humans can sniff more than a trillion different smells, research shows = Ah! A sniff heartens! Rich scents of summer and flowers enthral millions!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Putin Reclaims Crimea for Russia and Bitterly Denounces the West

(The New York Times)

Photo: Gwydion M. Williams

The Russian President Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin = Viperish villain's instant triumph did devour Crimea

(by Maurice Goddard)

Med School Student Elizabeth Raine 'Auctioning' Her Virginity

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Eugenia Loli

Elizabeth Raine = Inebriate Hazel?

(by Robert Jordan)

The New World Order

(The Economist)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

The New World Order = Red netherworld - ow!

(by Julian Lofts)

The World's Most Ethical Companies

(Forbes)

Photo: vanhookc

The World's Most Ethical Companies = Who steal, lie, cheat, con midst romps

(by Julian Lofts)

Sellotape Selfies Are So Hot Right Now

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Felipe Nogs

Sellotape Selfies Are So Hot Right Now = Teenagers are foolish; it's swell! (photo*)

Sellotape Selfies Are So Hot Right Now = Satire: foolish teenagers ... swell (photo*)

(by Robert Jordan)

Smithsonian collaborates with paleontologist team to reveal new large, feathered dinosaur

(Science Codex)

Photo: Wikimedia

Smithsonian Institute collaborates with paleontologist team to reveal new large, feathered dinosaur = "The elite Oviraptosaur fossils aren't a casual neo-bantamweight!" tweeted a droll eminent ornithologist

(by Julian Lofts)

North Dakota wants you: Seeks to fill 20,000 jobs

(CNN)

North Dakota Economic Development Foundation = And then ten men did come up to look for a vocation.

(by Rosie Perera)

Mick Jagger's Girlfriend L'Wren Scott Found Dead in New York Apartment

(Rolling Stone)

Photo: Zennie Abraham

Mick's girlfriend, the fashion designer L'Wren Scott, is found dead in New York = Then we worry and think sick friend of famed Rolling Stones' singer suicided

(by Julian Lofts)

New pound coin designed to combat counterfeiting

(BBC)

Photo: The Royal Mint

New pound coin's designed to combat counterfeiting = Noticing umpteen-sided, two faced Osborne counting

(by Robert Jordan)