Teens' selfies are leading to more head lice

(CNN)


Teens' selfies are leading to more head lice = Seems large cootie fleet landed in hair, see?

(by Rosie Perera)

England's schools succeed in problem-solving test

(BBC)


England's schools succeed in problem-solving test = Nothing stops classes' college-bound clever minds!

(by Maurice Goddard)

CIA misled government, public

(Stuff.co.nz)


The CIA misled government, public = Re: dumb, scheming, political event

(by Julian Lofts)

The verdict on Michael Jackson's posthumous album

(The Times)

Photo: Wikimedia

The verdict on Michael Jackson's posthumous album = A boast: Just phenomenal much-loved hit music rocks!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Homeopathy product recalled over fears it may contain actual medicine

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

Homeopathy product recalled over fears it may contain actual medicine = Come, you must accept that had revealed a trace of mad irony (or penicillin!)

(by Chris Sturdy)

International court to decide fate of whaling

(TVNZ)


International court is to decide fate of whaling = Oh, idiot stunt. A nadir if cetacean will not go free.

(by Julian Lofts)

Thais vote for senate

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Wikimedia

Thais vote for senate = on the favorite seats

(by Julian Lofts)

Man Who Swallowed Fork Admits It Was A Stupid Idea (PHOTO)

(Huffington Post)


Man Who Swallowed Fork Admits It Was A Stupid Idea (PHOTO) = I know of old ladies awash with a spider, mutt, sow atop ... mad!

(by Robert Jordan)

Magic Disney moments

(MSN)

Photo: Wikia

Magic Disney moment = Genie, 'tis my command

(by Robert Jordan)

Dirty dealings: bridge world champions caught cheating

(The Daily Telegraph)

Image: Wikimedia

Dirty dealings: bridge world champions caught cheating = Why the daring Germans' illicit coughing boded apt cards

(by Julian Lofts)

'Do It For Denmark' Campaign Urges Danes To Have More Sex

(Huffington Post)


'Do it for Denmark' = 'Art' of modern kid

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Poll Shows We Want Those DNA Breakthroughs But Worry Scientists May Be 'Playing God'

(Huffington Post)


A Poll Shows We Want Those DNA Breakthroughs But Worry Scientists May Be 'Playing God' = Splicing genes - Why, that's a troubling way to make a hotshot superbaby! World's wonders!

(by Julian Lofts)

Circus Elephants Make A Break For It, Mess Up Some Cars

(Huffington Post)


Circus Elephants Make A Break For It, Mess Up Some Cars = Escapees afar come pack their trunks; er ... Mumbai's loss?

(by Robert Jordan)

Steven Seagal: Vladimir Putin is one of the 'great world's leaders'

(The Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Steven Seagal: Vladimir Putin is one of the 'great world leaders' = Dear God! US film star interviewee gets to prove he's in La La land.

(by Julian Lofts)

State of War

(Kyiv Post)


The signs of an imminent Russian attack = An instinct's to amass men, fight Ukraine.

(by Rosie Perera)

Shocking DNA results reveal Elvis Presley was always destined to die young

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Wikimedia

Shocking DNA results reveal that Elvis Presley was always destined to die a young man = Heart disease? What nonsense! Ugly calumny! Sedatives killed pelvis gyrator. Sad? Aw, not!

(by Julian Lofts)

Flight MH370: Thai satellite 'shows 300 floating objects'

(BBC)


Objects floating in the Southern Indian Ocean = Could be honing in on certain hints of a jet seat

(by Rosie Perera)

Revealed: How parts of our bodies get pudgy

(The New Zealand Herald)


Revealed: How parts of our bodies get pudgy but others don't = We devour stodgy food, donuts, batter, a burger, hot pies. Help!

(by Julian Lofts)

Little faith in China's war on pollution

(Asia Times)


Little faith in China's war on pollution = Continual pall? Oh, filthiest air in town!

(by Mark McNamara)

Is North Korea forcing all university-aged men to get a 'Dear Leader Kim Jong-un' haircut?

(National Post)

Is North Korea forcing all university-aged men to get a 'Dear Leader Kim Jong-un' haircut? = A frightening saturated autocracy! Millions run to heed one raving mad ogre-like jerk.

(by Maurice Goddard)