I let bee sting me on the penis and the scrotum to see which hurt more

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Treesha Duncan

I let a bee sting me on the penis and the scrotum to see which hurt more = Tut tut! What dose phenomenon/theorems is the imbecile researching?

(by Julian Lofts)

Portraits by George W. Bush go on display

(Yahoo! News)


Portraits by George W. Bush go on display = Gee, Dubya throws grisly paint gobs. Poor!

(by Jason Lofts)

How CIA used copies of Dr Zhivago in battle to win Cold War

(The Daily Telegraph)


How the CIA used copies of Pasternak's Dr Zhivago in literary battle to win Cold War = Which idiot or twerp craftily authorized a novel plan to sabotage Reds? Wackiness!

(by Julian Lofts)

Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm

(The Independent)


Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm = Begorrah! Gasp! I prefer a honest merino.

(by Julian Lofts)

Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm = Goose & pheasant err, bear infirm ... gopher?

Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm = Hippo semen, rhino egg for a rarer beast?

(by Robert Jordan)

Hillbilly hunters try to catch unexplained creatures in Appalachia

(Facebook)

Photo: martremcheerful

Hillbilly hunters try to catch unexplained creatures in Appalachia = Called chupacabra, unicorn, sphinx, harpy, lilitu, the tall Eastern yeti

(by Julian Lofts)

George Bush's paintings: this is the art of Forrest Gump

(The Guardian)


George Bush's naive paintings: this is the art of Forrest Gump = Ugh! Putin as mobster/egotist. Sharp insight or inverse gaffe?

(by Julian Lofts)

Chewbacca: The Cure For Bad Tattoos?

(Huffington Post)

Photo: thinktanktattoo

Chewbacca: The Cure For Bad Tattoos? = A boast but FORCE the ace catchword

(by Robert Jordan)

Man gives roadkill porcupine a C-section, saves its baby

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

A Maine man gives a roadkill porcupine a C-section, saves its baby = My! Case is obvious as a brave action-packed animal spine-tingler!

(by Maurice Goddard)

A Maine man gives a roadkill porcupine a C-section, saves its baby = Crikey! Capable male snips guts. So vivid a cesarean. Abomination!

(by Julian Lofts)

Unmarried couples caught in Malaysia hotel raids

(BBC News)


Unmarried couples caught in Malaysia hotel raids = Casual naughtiness drama. Morality police: "Uh, dire!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Cheetos Perfume Ruins Everything You Loved About Cheetos

(Huffington Post)


Cheetos Perfume Ruins Everything You Loved About Cheetos = You love to goof and I never brush my teeth. Picture us ... cheese!

(by Robert Jordan)

Meet Cortana, Microsoft's Siri

(CNN)


Cortana Personal Digital Assistant = Can it grasp at all Siri's 'net data soon?

(by Rosie Perera)

Teens' selfies are leading to more head lice

(CNN)


Teens' selfies are leading to more head lice = Seems large cootie fleet landed in hair, see?

(by Rosie Perera)

England's schools succeed in problem-solving test

(BBC)


England's schools succeed in problem-solving test = Nothing stops classes' college-bound clever minds!

(by Maurice Goddard)

CIA misled government, public

(Stuff.co.nz)


The CIA misled government, public = Re: dumb, scheming, political event

(by Julian Lofts)

The verdict on Michael Jackson's posthumous album

(The Times)

Photo: Wikimedia

The verdict on Michael Jackson's posthumous album = A boast: Just phenomenal much-loved hit music rocks!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Homeopathy product recalled over fears it may contain actual medicine

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

Homeopathy product recalled over fears it may contain actual medicine = Come, you must accept that had revealed a trace of mad irony (or penicillin!)

(by Chris Sturdy)

International court to decide fate of whaling

(TVNZ)


International court is to decide fate of whaling = Oh, idiot stunt. A nadir if cetacean will not go free.

(by Julian Lofts)

Thais vote for senate

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Wikimedia

Thais vote for senate = on the favorite seats

(by Julian Lofts)

Man Who Swallowed Fork Admits It Was A Stupid Idea (PHOTO)

(Huffington Post)


Man Who Swallowed Fork Admits It Was A Stupid Idea (PHOTO) = I know of old ladies awash with a spider, mutt, sow atop ... mad!

(by Robert Jordan)

Magic Disney moments

(MSN)

Photo: Wikia

Magic Disney moment = Genie, 'tis my command

(by Robert Jordan)