California bill to end killer whale shows at SeaWorld 'on hold'

(The Guardian)

(Watch Blackfish on DVD)

California bill to end killer whale shows at SeaWorld is 'on hold' = We think law will ban all Orca rodeo ride ("tail holds") foolishness

(by Julian Lofts)

Malaysia plane MH370: Possible new signal in search

(BBC)

Photo: DVIDSHUB

Malaysia plane MH370: Possible new signal in search = 370 billion pings - we analyse a sample - hm, crash in sea!

(by Jason Lofts)

Scientists calculate odd ways to die

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: mira66

Scientists calculate the odd ways to die = Lest I die, coconut death classed as witty!

(by Julian Lofts)

Woman Claims Rats Ate Her House

(Huffington Post)


Woman Claims Rats Ate Her House = Aha! Meow a lot, scam the insurers?

(by Robert Jordan)

Americans: Ukraine is in ... Greenland?

(BBC)


Americans: Ukraine is in ... Greenland? = A Russian: Crimea, kinda Lenin green

(by Robert Jordan)

Americans: Ukraine is in ... Greenland? = I seek Narnia in ... England ... Crimea (RUS)?

Americans: Ukraine is in ... Greenland? = Crimean geeks: USA in ... N.Ireland ... Iran?

(by Jason Lofts)

Ian Thorpe seriously ill in hospital

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Morton Lin

Ian James Thorpe, the champion Australian swimmer = Re: MRSA in his arm joint. Amputate! Heal epic showman.

(by Julian Lofts)

Peaches Geldof: Writer and TV presenter dies aged 25

(BBC)

Photo: taah

Peaches Honeyblossom Geldof, daughter of Paula Yates and Bob = She's at morgue.Fatal OD? Goodbye unhappy false blonde. Sob. Ache.

(by Julian Lofts)

Message in a bottle delivered - 101 years later

(BT)

Photo: Gwylan

Message in a bottle delivered - 101 years later = See, I'd bet 10-1 even dear Royal Mail target less!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Jamaican Dancehall Artists Are Blinding Themselves by Getting Eyeball Tattoos

(Noisey)


Dancehall artists getting eyeball tattoos = See talent that goes totally blind as tragic

(by Rosie Perera)

Giant rats 'infest' German town

(MSN)

Photo: Wikimedia

Giant rats 'infest' German town of Halle = Few into Hamlin's Rattenfanger's gloat

(by Robert Jordan)

I let bee sting me on the penis and the scrotum to see which hurt more

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Treesha Duncan

I let a bee sting me on the penis and the scrotum to see which hurt more = Tut tut! What dose phenomenon/theorems is the imbecile researching?

(by Julian Lofts)

Portraits by George W. Bush go on display

(Yahoo! News)


Portraits by George W. Bush go on display = Gee, Dubya throws grisly paint gobs. Poor!

(by Jason Lofts)

How CIA used copies of Dr Zhivago in battle to win Cold War

(The Daily Telegraph)


How the CIA used copies of Pasternak's Dr Zhivago in literary battle to win Cold War = Which idiot or twerp craftily authorized a novel plan to sabotage Reds? Wackiness!

(by Julian Lofts)

Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm

(The Independent)


Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm = Begorrah! Gasp! I prefer a honest merino.

(by Julian Lofts)

Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm = Goose & pheasant err, bear infirm ... gopher?

Rare goat-sheep 'geep' born on Irish farm = Hippo semen, rhino egg for a rarer beast?

(by Robert Jordan)

Hillbilly hunters try to catch unexplained creatures in Appalachia

(Facebook)

Photo: martremcheerful

Hillbilly hunters try to catch unexplained creatures in Appalachia = Called chupacabra, unicorn, sphinx, harpy, lilitu, the tall Eastern yeti

(by Julian Lofts)

George Bush's paintings: this is the art of Forrest Gump

(The Guardian)


George Bush's naive paintings: this is the art of Forrest Gump = Ugh! Putin as mobster/egotist. Sharp insight or inverse gaffe?

(by Julian Lofts)

Chewbacca: The Cure For Bad Tattoos?

(Huffington Post)

Photo: thinktanktattoo

Chewbacca: The Cure For Bad Tattoos? = A boast but FORCE the ace catchword

(by Robert Jordan)

Man gives roadkill porcupine a C-section, saves its baby

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

A Maine man gives a roadkill porcupine a C-section, saves its baby = My! Case is obvious as a brave action-packed animal spine-tingler!

(by Maurice Goddard)

A Maine man gives a roadkill porcupine a C-section, saves its baby = Crikey! Capable male snips guts. So vivid a cesarean. Abomination!

(by Julian Lofts)

Unmarried couples caught in Malaysia hotel raids

(BBC News)


Unmarried couples caught in Malaysia hotel raids = Casual naughtiness drama. Morality police: "Uh, dire!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Cheetos Perfume Ruins Everything You Loved About Cheetos

(Huffington Post)


Cheetos Perfume Ruins Everything You Loved About Cheetos = You love to goof and I never brush my teeth. Picture us ... cheese!

(by Robert Jordan)