"Do you Kurt Cobain take Courtney Michelle Love to be your lawfully shredded wife even when she's a bitch with zits and siphoning all yr money for doping and whoring ..." = "Yes, I do, OK. Why be unhappy?" Note found in billfold. Very unwell singer/songwriter of Seattle band Nirvana. Uh, look how he wretchedly committed suicide on a crazy high.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford: "I have a problem with alcohol, and the choices I have made while under the influence. I have struggled with this for some time." = I need help, to have a (hic!) time-out from running for reelection, to have some (hic!) rehab. Must defeat whom? The bloody cirrhosis! God, I'll have withdrawal!
Search for Miguel Cervantes' lost remains: team to begin sweep of Madrid convent = Recite best news as descriptive novelist ("Man of La Mancha") to emerge from ground
Lessons the British legal system could learn from the Oscar Pistorius trial = It's illegal to humorlessly shoot trespasser first and lie in court chambers
As deadline passes, Syria is pressed to complete destruction of its chemical arms = In politics, seems it's time to decide Assad's pressured to scrap arsenal of alchemy
This Woman Ate Mice And Other Pet Store Critters For A Week And Regrets Nothing = Gather the protein treats together: fried worms, minnows and ... cats? Reaction: eek!
The Formula One supremo Bernard Charles Ecclestone denies charges of bribery in Germany trial = Re: error - senile confabulation or racing car banditry? Greedy man schemes, he flops, ere he tumbles.