World's Heaviest Drinkers News: Belarus Of Eastern Europe Topped The List

(KDrama Stars)

Photo: Ilya Kuzniatsou

Biggest alcohol consumption by litres: 1. Belarus 2. Moldova 3. Lithuania = 1. SOB! It is a dipsomaniac country! 2. Blotto as hell 3. All hungover ... Belgium?

(by Jason Lofts)

500-year-old mystery: Wreck off Haiti may be Columbus' flagship Santa Maria

(CNN)

Photo: OZinOH

Columbus's ship may have been found near Haiti = Hopeful hunch by bums on dive: "I see Santa Maria!"

(by Rosie Perera)

Oscar Pistorius faces referral to state psychiatric hospital for evaluation

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Robert Ball

Oscar Pistorius faces referral to state psychiatric hospital for mental evaluation = Apt client! Prosecutor oft assumes he's a psychotic, irrational liar. It's fatal for Reeva.

(by Julian Lofts)

Putin's dangerous game

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: World Economic Forum

Putin's dangerous game = "Used nepotism...." -Anu Garg

(by Julian Lofts)

Super-rich London becomes billionaire capital of the world. It has nearly twice as many as New York, figures show

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Pedro Ribeiro Simões

Super-rich London becomes the billionaires capital of the world. It has nearly twice as many plutocrats as New York, figures show = Yes, word's out - Russian homes, palaces in Pimlico, Barbican, Chelsea. Not Archway, Ilford, Kentish Town, Purley, Forest Gate, Tower Hill

(by Julian Lofts)

Austria wins Eurovision Song Contest

(BBC)

Photo: Gerold Neuwirt

Austria finally wins the Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen = A soprano ingenue, "he" (Conchita Wurst) sings faintly on television

(by Jason Lofts)

Brunei Ownership Casts a Shadow on a Beverly Hills Hotel

(The New York Times)

Photo: Mark Weston

Brunei Ownership of a Beverly Hills Hotel Casts a Shadow = How A-listers help subvert obscene Sharia law. Doh, if only!

(by Julian Lofts)

Russian politician condemns Eurovision as 'Europe-wide gay parade'

(The Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Conchita Wurst, aka Tom Neuwirth = Wow, Man, cute skirt! Not cut hair, ah!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Conchita Wurst = Circus whatnot

(by Julian Lofts)

What We Know Now About the Kidnapped Nigerian Girls

(ABC News)

Photo: Michael Fleshman

What We Know Now About the Kidnapped Nigerian Girls = Wow! I wonder what Brangelina think? Deign to speak up.

(by Julian Lofts)

3-D ketchup invension

(MSN)

Screenshot: MSN.com

Three-D ketchup invension = Oh, reinvented in SketchUp!

(by Jason Lofts)

Three-D ketchup invension = Think phonetics never due?

(by Robert Jordan)

Also see Geraldine the Giraffe learns /tion/ spelling

Stuart Hall 'raped teenage girls in BBC dressing room'

(BBC)

Photo: CREDITS

Stuart Hall 'raped teenage girls in BBC dressing room' = Grr! So this lusting predator banged belles in camera?

(by Jason Lofts)

Angela Merkel 'ditches sausage sandwiches for diet

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: IMF

Angela Merkel 'ditches sausage sandwiches for diet = "I eat green salads - eschew meat for duckling" she said

(by Julian Lofts)

Thailand court ousts PM Yingluck

(BBC)

Photo: Foreign and Commonwealth Office

Yingluck Shinawatra = Rah! Sacking a wily nut

(by Robert Jordan)

'International Clitoris Awareness Week' Pays Homage To 'A Magnificent Organ'

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: Wikimedia

'International Clitoris Awareness Week' Pays Homage To 'A Magnificent Organ' = If we stroke genitalia, creating an intense orgasm, spoilt women cry "Aaaah! No!"

(by Julian Lofts)

World's hottest supermodel is now single

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Wikimedia

Adriana Lima, the world's hottest supermodel, is now single = "What a stunner", I lilt. Slim and solo! Hotdog! We are impressed!

(by Julian Lofts)

Norway's Batlamb

(MSN)

Photo: Rex

Norway's Batlamb = Mostly brawn ... baa

(by Robert Jordan)

World Laughter Day Celebration

(The New Straits Times)

Photo: Randall Rode

World Laughter Day Celebration = We chortle at an older ribald guy

(by Julian Lofts)

Naked beer fest to kick off season in Pennsylvania nudist resort

(Digital Journal)

Photo: Bill Dickinson

Naked beer fest to kick off the season in Pennsylvania nudist resort = An effervescent idea of Eden's kinky naturists: slake noon thirst, bop..

(by Jason Lofts)

'Jesus' appears on a pancake - on Good Friday

(MSN)


'Jesus' appears on a pancake - on Good Friday = Jeepers! Ay, a cross upon a pagan kinda food

(by Robert Jordan)

Read Kurt Cobain's not-so-nice letter about Courtney Love, found in his wallet after his death

(Consequence of Sound)

Photo: Stephen Eckert

"Do you Kurt Cobain take Courtney Michelle Love to be your lawfully shredded wife even when she's a bitch with zits and siphoning all yr money for doping and whoring ..." = "Yes, I do, OK. Why be unhappy?" Note found in billfold. Very unwell singer/songwriter of Seattle band Nirvana. Uh, look how he wretchedly committed suicide on a crazy high.

(by Julian Lofts)