US soldier freed after almost five years

(Stuff.co.nz)


"While Bowe was gone, he was never forgotten," President Barack Obama said from the White House Rose Garden. "The United States of America does not ever leave our men and women in uniform behind." = "We know desertion's a heinous crime. We want to court martial BB after we have given him a medal and paraded honoree. Oh, shun the grenadier. No sententious forgiveness. We deem BB foremost a foe!"

(by Julian Lofts)

US soldier flies to freedom after Afghan prisoner swap

(Reuters)

Photo: Wikimedia

A United States Army soldier Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl flies to freedom after Afghan prisoner swap = Western hostage (deserter?) freed by Taliban for Guantanamo POWs. Reads as if he's glorified Templar!

(by Jason Lofts)

No Tobacco Day: How to help the world stop smoking

(The Independent)

Photo: Daniel

No Tobacco Day: How to help the world stop smoking = Know-how step: Bloody cancer photos might do a lot?

(by Maurice Goddard)

How cats always fall on their feet

(The Daily Telegraph)


How cats always fall on their feet = Aha, watch felines rotate, fly, slow

(by Julian Lofts)

Weightwatchers foods higher in calories than standard ones

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Francoise C

Weightwatchers foods higher in calories than standard ones = The charge? A downright swindle to earn cash! Fair? So dishonest!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Firefox Looks Like Space Invaders For Some Reason

(The Console Insider)

Photo: kotaku.com

Firefox looks like Space Invaders for some reason = Makeover inspires exercise for old folks on a sofa?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Search area for MH370 can now be 'discounted'

(CNN)

Photo: Jerry Wong

Search area for the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 can now be discounted = A real wild goose chase! This chimera/fantasy airliner MH370 can't be found

(by Jason Lofts)

Edward Snowden: I can sleep at night and I have done the right thing

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Richard Loyal

Edward Snowden: I can sleep at night and I have done the right thing = News: No lightweight! An even-handed die hard patriot isn't changed!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama outlines foreign policy vision of 'might and right'

(CNN)


Obama gives graduation speech for West Point Military Academy = "Whatever I do, America must again adopt my foreign policy as best."

(by Rosie Perera)

Rolf Harris trial: Entertainer denies 'ludicrous' assault claims

(BBC)

Photo: Sunrise on Seven

Rolf Harris trial: Entertainer denies 'ludicrous' assault claims = Smell a rat? Liar? Truth is, Aussie nit is a frail cornered scoundrel!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Rolf Harris Sings Jake The Peg And Imitates Didgeridoo To 'Bemused' Jury During Sex Trial

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Zuzanna Neziri

Rolf Harris sings "Jake The Peg" and imitates the didgeridoo and a wobble board to 'bemused' jury during sex trial = Extra: I see Aussie bard babbled "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport". Girls/jurors/judge: "Hang the dirty old man, if he did it!"

(by Jason Lofts)

In Lahore, pregnant Pakistani woman stoned to death

(The Times of India)

Illustration: Wikimedia

In Lahore, pregnant Pakistani woman stoned to death = To the point: Sad, no? When mad lot partaking are insane?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cannes: 'Winter Sleep' Wins Palme d'Or

(Variety)

#493641329 / gettyimages.com

'Winter Sleep' wins Palme d'Or at Cannes = Select drama is top-panel's new winner

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'Winter Sleep' wins Palme d'Or at Cannes = Campion presides - a swell new entrant

(by Julian Lofts)

Hurricane Amanda remains a Category 4 storm

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Kakela

The Hurricane Amanda = Uncertain harm ahead

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Thai junta dissolves senate as army tightens grip

(The Guardian)

Photo: Adaptor- Plug

Thai junta dissolved senate as army tightens grip = Heard this nasty gang just sovietised parliament

(by Julian Lofts)

President Putin Just Dealt A Smackdown To Prince Charles Over Hitler Comparison

(Huffington Post)

#2269933 / gettyimages.com

President Putin Just Dealt A Smackdown To Prince Charles Over Hitler Comparison = Injured? Pathetic! Sticks and stones c/o cold appropriator, names will never hurt me!

(by Robert Jordan)

Madonna attacks Malawi's president after attempt to nullify elections

(The Guardian)

#165267312 / gettyimages.com

Madonna attacks Malawi's president after attempt to nullify their elections = "I want to adopt more pretty African chilluns!" emitted a sleek mental fantasist

(by Julian Lofts)

Berlin Lawmakers Seek Gender Equality in Their Traffic Lights

(BusinessWeek)

Photo: Leigh Spencer

Berlin Lawmakers Seek Gender Equality in Their Traffic Lights = Heck, what a bleeding feminist request! A likely girl fan! Stirrer!

(by Julian Lofts)

Debris found in Cheeki Rafiki yacht search

(BBC)


Debris found in the Cheeki Rafiki yacht search = Fire... ice... kraken(!)... ichthyosaur(!!) hide behind facts?

(by Jason Lofts)

World's largest dinosaur found

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Kabacchi

O, the world's largest dinosaur found in Argentina = Ugh! Titanosaurs ate dandelions for dinner. Growl!

(by Julian Lofts)

World's largest dinosaur found = Lost fossil underground a draw

(by Robert Jordan)