Pennsylvania man accused of stealing human skin from hospital

(Reuters)

Photo: Juan José Montero

A Pennsylvania man is accused of stealing human skin from hospital = Hell, man! I visualise fanatic frying them as snacks (papadums). No, no, no!

(by Julian Lofts)

Tokyo's 'oldest man' had been dead for 30 years

(BBC)

Photo: bananarchist

Tokyo's 'oldest man' had been dead for thirty years = Rather too shady mystery of a dad (skeleton) in bed!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Queen shows us who isn't boss

(BBC)

Photo: The British Parliament

The Queen shows us who isn't boss = Unique show shows she's not best!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Syrians vote in presidential election

(The Guardian)

Cartoon: Khalid Albaih

Syrians vote in presidential election = It is ninety percent loonier Assad evil

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dan Marino sues NFL over concussions

(CNN)

Photo: Jacob Childrey

Chronic traumatic encephalopathy = I imply each contact can hurt a pro, eh?

(by Rosie Perera)

Madeleine McCann mystery: Police to dig in Portugal wasteland

(CNN)

Photo: Roger528

Police set to begin digging for Madeleine McCann = Cementing dogged belief in cop locating remains

(by Rosie Perera)

A critical theoretic Marxist dialectical analysis of the World Cup song

(The Guardian)


A critical theoretic Marxist dialectical analysis of the World Cup song = Academic: "Dull existential lyrics for sociopathic contest (alright, a war)"

(by Julian Lofts)

Angelina says Cleopatra may be her final role

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Felix Nine

Angelina says Cleopatra may be her final role = An aspiring female LA actor. Heresy! LA baloney!

(by Julian Lofts)

Why is King Juan Carlos of Spain abdicating?

(BBC)

Photo: Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Why is King Juan Carlos of Spain abdicating? = Yawning fainting aura is: Old chap's job sick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

US soldier freed after almost five years

(Stuff.co.nz)


"While Bowe was gone, he was never forgotten," President Barack Obama said from the White House Rose Garden. "The United States of America does not ever leave our men and women in uniform behind." = "We know desertion's a heinous crime. We want to court martial BB after we have given him a medal and paraded honoree. Oh, shun the grenadier. No sententious forgiveness. We deem BB foremost a foe!"

(by Julian Lofts)

US soldier flies to freedom after Afghan prisoner swap

(Reuters)

Photo: Wikimedia

A United States Army soldier Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl flies to freedom after Afghan prisoner swap = Western hostage (deserter?) freed by Taliban for Guantanamo POWs. Reads as if he's glorified Templar!

(by Jason Lofts)

No Tobacco Day: How to help the world stop smoking

(The Independent)

Photo: Daniel

No Tobacco Day: How to help the world stop smoking = Know-how step: Bloody cancer photos might do a lot?

(by Maurice Goddard)

How cats always fall on their feet

(The Daily Telegraph)


How cats always fall on their feet = Aha, watch felines rotate, fly, slow

(by Julian Lofts)

Weightwatchers foods higher in calories than standard ones

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Francoise C

Weightwatchers foods higher in calories than standard ones = The charge? A downright swindle to earn cash! Fair? So dishonest!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Firefox Looks Like Space Invaders For Some Reason

(The Console Insider)

Photo: kotaku.com

Firefox looks like Space Invaders for some reason = Makeover inspires exercise for old folks on a sofa?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Search area for MH370 can now be 'discounted'

(CNN)

Photo: Jerry Wong

Search area for the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 can now be discounted = A real wild goose chase! This chimera/fantasy airliner MH370 can't be found

(by Jason Lofts)

Edward Snowden: I can sleep at night and I have done the right thing

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Richard Loyal

Edward Snowden: I can sleep at night and I have done the right thing = News: No lightweight! An even-handed die hard patriot isn't changed!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama outlines foreign policy vision of 'might and right'

(CNN)


Obama gives graduation speech for West Point Military Academy = "Whatever I do, America must again adopt my foreign policy as best."

(by Rosie Perera)

Rolf Harris trial: Entertainer denies 'ludicrous' assault claims

(BBC)

Photo: Sunrise on Seven

Rolf Harris trial: Entertainer denies 'ludicrous' assault claims = Smell a rat? Liar? Truth is, Aussie nit is a frail cornered scoundrel!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Rolf Harris Sings Jake The Peg And Imitates Didgeridoo To 'Bemused' Jury During Sex Trial

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Zuzanna Neziri

Rolf Harris sings "Jake The Peg" and imitates the didgeridoo and a wobble board to 'bemused' jury during sex trial = Extra: I see Aussie bard babbled "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport". Girls/jurors/judge: "Hang the dirty old man, if he did it!"

(by Jason Lofts)