US celebrates dramatic World Cup win over Ghana

(BBC)


United States celebrates dramatic World Cup win over Ghana = TAB* report soccer game had a valid result. US net twice and win

TAB is Totalisator Agency Board - a betting agency in New Zealand and Australia

(by Julian Lofts)

Egyptian cleric: watching football 'destroys nations'

(The Guardian)

Photo: Rawle C. Jackman

Egyptian cleric: watching football 'destroys nations' = Soccer - analytically the finest gonad biting sport. Ow!

(by Julian Lofts)

Egyptian cleric: watching football 'destroys nations' = Strong tonic in play? I bet God's a soccer fan with a telly!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kenyan elephant with giant tusks slain

(CNN)


"A great life lost so that someone far away can have a trinket on their mantlepiece. Rest in peace, old friend, you will be missed." = In memory of idol Satao, the ancient African elephant, savagely poached for its elite tusks. We are desolate. Terrible men win.

(by Julian Lofts)

Blair's Iraq invasion was a tragic error, and he's insane to deny it

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Jason

Blair's Iraq invasion was a tragic error, and he's insane to deny it = Tony's brain-dead! A loonier insane ravager nit with a crass IQ, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

France v Honduras: World Cup 2014 - live!

(The Guardian)

Photo: alobos life

And French savour = France v Honduras

(by Jason Lofts)

World Cup 2014: Prime Minister David Cameron sends good luck message to England team

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Rach

Prime Minister David Cameron sends good luck message to England team = United Kingdom dreams potential medals; seems gone raving soccer mad!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Fruitland American Meat 4000 pounds beef recall - mad cow on the moooove?

(Tech Times)

Photo: Piper92R

Fruitland American Meat = Alarm: if untreated, manic!

(by Jason Lofts)

The terrible legacy of Blair's Iraq War

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Jason

The terrible legacy of Blair's Iraq War = Iraqi Fate: Gory barbaric Hell welters.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Harrison Ford Hurt on Star Wars Set

(BBC)

Art: Roberto Rizzato

Harrison Ford hurt on Star Wars set = Star ran for shutter door - raw shins

(by Greig Templeton)

Free The Nipple: why on earth do women want to walk around topless in public?

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Lars Plougmann

Free The Nipple: why on earth do women want to walk around topless in public? = Prelude in another show in town: Hopeful cows apparently want to be milked?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

South Africa cannibal: Gugulethu man 'ate love rival's heart'

(BBC)

Photo: LadyGuinevere

South African cannibal: Gugulethu man 'ate love rival's heart' = A ghoul a-munching, a true Hannibal Lecter? A taste of survival!

(by Jason Lofts)

Oliver Stone to make movie based on fictionalised life of Edward Snowden

(The Guardian)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

Director Oliver Stone's to make movie based on fictionalised life of Edward Snowden = O, will it be token cinema verite (snore) or an odd novelised dose of fascism? Daft weirdo!

(by Julian Lofts)

Male faces 'buttressed against punches' by evolution

(BBC)

Photo: Mary Harrsch

Male faces 'buttressed against punches' by evolution = Because era's cavemen stupidly fought in battles, son!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Clintons 'dead broke' after White House

(The New Zealand Herald)

Caricatures: DonkeyHotey

"We came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt," Hillary Clinton told ABC."We had no money when we got there, and we struggled to, you know, piece together the resources for mortgages, for houses, for Chelsea's education. You know, it was not easy." = "O, gee, when that outrageous troglodyte, Monica Lewinsky, had weekly unprotected intercourse with Bill (ow!) and he got come on the young woman's blue dress (ow!), that was the start of the end of our fortunes. O yes, I agree he was fooled by the crooked concubine."

(by Julian Lofts)

British comic actor Rik Mayall dies aged 56

(Reuters)


Rik Mayall, the famous English comedian and actor died yesterday = Lethal end. In memory of a cad, a dorky lunatic. His demise's a tragedy.

(by Julian Lofts)

Clintons 'were broke' after presidency

(The Guardian)

Photo: Marc Nozell

Clintons 'were broke' after presidency = O, perks of celebrity - screwed an intern!

(by Julian Lofts)

World Custard Pie championships

(Heart)

Photo: Funk Dooby

World Custard Pie championships = Humor's odd! (A Chaplin script swipe).

World Custard Pie championships = Odd swipe at Chaplin's crisp humor

(by Robert Jordan)

Should teams abstain during the World Cup?

(CNN)


Should teams abstain during the World Cup? = Allow intercourse, bathmats, puddings, duh!

(by Julian Lofts)

Scottish Independence referendum 100 days to go

(The Edinburgh Reporter)

Photo: Cams

Scots in/out referendum - should Scotland be an independent country = London cuts / oil dependence - shunned by tartan curio's freedom stunt?

(by Greig Templeton)

Fasting for three days can regenerate entire immune system, study finds

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Helga Weber

Fasting for three days can regenerate entire immune system, study finds = Free fitness cure anyone might try! Fat mums & dads & grannies eyed interest?!

(by Maurice Goddard)