I ate my wife's placenta raw in a smoothie and cooked in a taco

(The Guardian)

Photo: Latisha

I ate my wife's placenta raw in a smoothie and cooked in a taco = i.e. I/we can make food, i.e. a post-natal meaty tonic or a sandwich!

(by Jason Lofts)

Pope Francis' new clothes: Why his progressive image is white smoke and mirrors

(Salon)

Photo: Roberto Rizzato

Pope Francis' new clothes: Why his progressive image is white smoke and mirrors = News: Stripping him down, wearisome sick ol' chap's the sorry reverse of his image?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Oldest human faeces show Neanderthals ate vegetables

(BBC)

Photo: Erich Ferdinand

Oldest human faeces show Neanderthals ate vegetables = Aha, so are doubtless what fed less than genteel cavemen!

(by Jason Lofts)

Gary Oldman Apology Blasted as "Insufficient" by ADL

(Variety)

Photo: Matt DeTurck

Gary Leonard Oldman is an actor = Racist raged on and on amorally

(by Julian Lofts)

Suarez faces long ban if guilty of bite

(BBC)

Photo: Gwydion M Williams

Luis Suarez faces long ban if found guilty of bite = Ugly sin of zealous biter obfuscating final feud

(by Julian Lofts)

Suarez at centre of another biting scandal

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Global Panorama

Luis Alberto Suarez = Slur - a zealous biter

(by Julian Lofts)

What God does to your brain

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: Tom Blackwell

What God does to your brain = You'd bet, hoards go into war!

(by Maurice Goddard)

US student is rescued from giant vagina sculpture in Germany

(The Guardian)


A US student is rescued from a giant vagina sculpture in Germany = Rumpus/fracas! Ingenue grad ventures into genitalia. Study/scam?

(by Julian Lofts)

New Winner Of 'World's Ugliest Dog' Contest Crowned

(Huffington Post)


New Winner Of 'World's Ugliest Dog' Contest Crowned = Wince, no? Often cuddling wet-nosed growler's worst!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Guildford Four's Gerry Conlon dies in Belfast

( The Irish Times)


He said being in prison was a form of 'suspended animation' where you do not mature as a normal adult. "Our reality was that nightmare." For years, he said, he felt disenfranchised from his family. = Story today: Irishman Gerry Conlon died after unlawful imprisonment in a British madhouse for fifteen years as he'd a hard awful time of depression/insomnia/outrage ahead. "The law's a sham."

(by Julian Lofts)

Pope Condemns Mafia Violence on Children

(VOA News)

Photo: Catholic Church England

The Pope Condemns Mafia Violence on Children = Epochs of evil. Decadent criminal phenomenon.

(by Julian Lofts)

Duck Stampede! No, really.

(Huffington Post)


Duck Stampede! No, really. = Sudden meek call to pray.

(by Robert Jordan)

Film row upsets island tranquillity

(The New Zealand Herald)


Film row upsets island tranquillity = Rift! Will Neruda's silly postman quit?

(by Julian Lofts)

Spain's new king Felipe VI sworn in

(Financial Times)


Spain's new king Felipe VI sworn in = In new V-sign, Pa now skips in relief!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Chile Eliminates Defending Champion Spain

(The New York Times)


An aggressive Chile eliminates the defending champion Spain = Hellish time as grieving Spanish men concede a paining defeat

(by Julian Lofts)

Texas supermarket accused of selling bull penis as human food

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Andrew

Texas supermarket accused of selling bull penis as human food = Unusual tale - dessicated beef sexual organs (pricks). Mmh? No, flop!

(by Jason Lofts)

Texas supermarket accused of selling bull penis as human food = Unpalatable? Lie! Sexed-up girls rush to suck and scoff some! Amen!

(by Maurice Goddard)

US Ghosts Left at Kirkuk Base After Iraqi Army Fled

(ABC News)

Photo: AFPMB

US Ghosts Left at Kirkuk Base After Iraqi Army Fled = It is grotesque! Bleak filthy stuff marks a dark era.

(by Maurice Goddard)

US celebrates dramatic World Cup win over Ghana

(BBC)


United States celebrates dramatic World Cup win over Ghana = TAB* report soccer game had a valid result. US net twice and win

TAB is Totalisator Agency Board - a betting agency in New Zealand and Australia

(by Julian Lofts)

Egyptian cleric: watching football 'destroys nations'

(The Guardian)

Photo: Rawle C. Jackman

Egyptian cleric: watching football 'destroys nations' = Soccer - analytically the finest gonad biting sport. Ow!

(by Julian Lofts)

Egyptian cleric: watching football 'destroys nations' = Strong tonic in play? I bet God's a soccer fan with a telly!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kenyan elephant with giant tusks slain

(CNN)


"A great life lost so that someone far away can have a trinket on their mantlepiece. Rest in peace, old friend, you will be missed." = In memory of idol Satao, the ancient African elephant, savagely poached for its elite tusks. We are desolate. Terrible men win.

(by Julian Lofts)