What's life like in a South African prison?

(CNN)

Cartoon: Roy Blumenthal

What's life like in a South African prison? = I think Pistorius will face fear. Hosanna!

(by Julian Lofts)

Ebola patient Thomas Eric Duncan dies at Dallas hospital

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Jornal Brasil em Folhas

Thomas Eric Duncan = Can't cure him. Sad, no?

Thomas Eric Duncan = Death occurs in man

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Oh, deer! Outrage as Zurich zoo puts animals on menu

(RT)

Photo: placeboe

Oh, deer! Outrage as a zoo puts its animals on menu = Eat up denizens: goat, mouse, 'roo, also tahr! Um, a sin?

(by Jason Lofts)

Twin Peaks season 3: David Lynch drama gets 2016 release date after 25 year break

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

Twin Peaks Series Three = These writers seek pain

(by Julian Lofts)

US ebola victim 'fighting for his life'

(The Times)

Photo: NIAID

US ebola victim 'fighting for his life' = I ill. Bug, high fever, fits, coma, to finis?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kim Jong-un "is so fat from eating cheese that he has broken his ankles"

(Metro)

Photo: Mike Licht

The dictator Kim Jong-un "is so fat from eating cheese that he has broken his ankles" = Jibe aimed at highest North Korean: scoffing so much 'Kase' that latter on his knees

(by Jason Lofts)

We will use 'all assets' to hunt down jihadists who murdered British hostage Alan Henning, vows David Cameron

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: The US Army

"We will use all the assets we have to try and help those hostages... and defeat this organisation which is utterly ruthless and barbaric. There is no level of depravity to which they will not sink. No appeals made any difference," said David Cameron = "These irate Arab characters viciously beheaded Foley, Sotloff, Haines, Gourdel, now Henning, as if they were livestock. I'm appalled at their nasty threats and dastardly acts. It's showdown time! We will prevail and punish the heathen devils soon!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Mind-controlled exoskeleton lets paralysed people walk

(New Scientist)


Mind-controlled exoskeleton lets paralysed people walk = Experimental plods worked! Lastly, led to no knee collapse!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Walking Dead 'Human Flesh' Burger recipe by Chef James Thomlinson

(The Huffington Post)

Photo: Sea Turtle

How to make The Walking Dead 'Human Flesh' burgers: *makes 6-8 burgers* 400g pork mince 400g veal mince 200g bone marrow (minced) Salt and pepper to taste, the less seasoning you use the more it tastes like human flesh!!! Mix together the pork, veal and bone marrow in a large bowl. Firmly grind together the meat until evenly mixed. Add salt and pepper to taste, fry a little of the meat in a pan to taste and adjust seasoning accordingly. Shape the burgers using a 90mm cutter - if you don't have one then shape by hand. You should use around 150g of the mixture per patty. Cook the burgers in a frying pan on a medium hot temperature, frequently turning the meat often until you reach your desired colour. Finish off in the oven at 180 for 6 minutes, or more if you like your human flesh well done. ENJOY!!!

=

Appropriate not only for the hungriest man or cannibals, the unusual recipe by expert chef James Thomlinson (freephone 0800 800 640 640 510), tested by many informed volunteers, stems from his unflagging research (see quotes*). He purposely intended to fake or approximate fresh homonid meat. *In the 1920s William Seabrook persuaded an unfortunate undergraduate medical student to give him a chunk of flesh to eat, then wrote: "It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef." Furthermore Thomlinson used an account by the mad Japanese cannibal killer Issei Sagawa, who said the human meat "melted in my mouth like raw tuna." Serve piping hot. Then try honey mustard, truffles or Greek yoghurt next to make it really yummy, not horrid. UGH!!! GORGE, GAG AND REGURGITATE!!!

(by Jason Lofts)

Woman sues sperm bank after racial mix-up

(CNN)

Photo: Furhan H!

Woman sues sperm bank after racial mix-up = Faux pas! Man was black. Prurient memories?

(by Julian Lofts)

Mass gathering of 35,000 walruses is latest sign of global warming

(The Times of India)

Photo: South Bend Voice

A chaotic gathering of walruses ~ Caught roaring as ice floes thaw

(by Julian Lofts)

The marooned baboon: Africa's loneliest monkey

(BBC)

Photo: Scott Kinmartin

This marooned baboon could be Africa's loneliest monkey = Cool folk named him Robinson (Crusoe). I lay a bet - needs boat!

(by Julian Lofts)

China warns Hong Kong protesters of 'unimaginable' consequences

(Washington Post)

Photo: Pasu Au Yeung

China warns Hong Kong protesters of 'unimaginable' consequences = Knowing of Tiananmen Square's butchering, a concern goes: SOS! HELP!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Anger at badger's 'cruel' death in cull zone

(BBC)

Photo: Sally Longstaff

A cull of badgers that's said to reduce bovine TB = Crude bloodbath saving our beef cattle? It's sad.

(by Chris Sturdy)

US health officials confirm first Ebola case in Dallas, Texas

(Metro News)

Photo: Phil Moyer

The Ebola case in Dallas, Texas = I can't be so lax as all see death

(by Adie Pena)

Limbaugh Suggests "Political Correctness" May Have Played A Role In Allowing Ebola To Reach The US

(Media Matters)


Limbaugh suggests "Political Correctness" may have played a role in allowing Ebola to reach the US = As, by his own logic, the alcoholic giant slug vaguely postulates American leaders are the problem.

(by Dharam)

First Ebola case diagnosed in the US

(BBC)

Photo: NIAID

First Ebola case's diagnosed in United States = Deadliest infection about. Assess its danger!

(by Jason Lofts)

Israel's Netanyahu: Iran poses greater threat than Islamic State

(Reuters)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Israel's Netanyahu: Iran poses greater threat than Islamic State = Anagram Artist retranslates: "Heathens, you panic the Israelites!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Mariam al-Mansouri on becoming UAE's first female fighter pilot

(The Guardian)

Photo: CityPeople News Nigeria

The female fighter pilot Mariam al-Mansouri = I am a first hot femme in the all-male air group!

(by Adie Pena)

Bodybuilding Christian Swingers From Florida Start Spouse-Swapping Website

(Huffington Post)


Bodybuilding Christian swingers from Florida start spouse-swapping website = Baptists pump iron and transgress with wife's gigolo boyfriends? Is a weird club?

(by Jason Lofts)