British parrot named Nigel vanishes four years ago - only to return speaking Spanish

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Brenna Daugherty

British parrot named Nigel vanishes four years ago - only to return speaking Spanish = Interesting enigma! Proof: upon drinking sherry, he says "Hasta la vista!", "Burro", "Espanol"

(by Julian Lofts)

Boy Who Shot Albino Deer With Crossbow Receives Death Threats

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Adrian Korte

Boy who killed albino deer with crossbow receives death threats = To kid who slew white hart, belabored by others: "Crass violence, die!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Exclusive: Evict the nuisance next door!

(The Daily Express)

Photo: noricum

Exclusive: Evict the nuisance next door! = Is next unethical ruse conceived to vex?

(by Robert Jordan)

Dog's destructive underwear fetish

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Stuff.co.nz

Dog's destructive underwear fetish = Vet: Frustrated, so I chewed grundies*

*Grundies is Australian/NZ slang for underwear

(by Jason Lofts)

Dog's destructive underwear fetish = Fetching drawers! Rue to us divested

(by Robert Jordan)

'An alien has grown in my bottle of vinegar!' Mum makes horror discovery of creature

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Ryan

'An alien has grown in my bottle of vinegar!' Mum makes horror discovery of creature = None worry ok, over a genus of live bacteria, in truth, forming a harmless mycoderma

(by Robert Jordan)

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II joins social media age with 1st tweet

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II joins social media age with 1st tweet (CNN)

Photo: Science Museum London

Queen Elizabeth II posts her first tweet = Hope Twitter equalizes these fine Brits

(by Rosie Perera)

Cockerel given 'ASBO' and ordered to stop crowing

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Thomas Hawk

Cockerel given 'ASBO' and ordered to stop crowing = Cock a doodle do bring carping even rooster stew

(by Robert Jordan)

Feds chase criminal case against artist who marred rocks in national parks

(Denver Post)

Photo: ski.mohawk

The National Parks vandal Casey Nocket ("Creepy-Tings") = Cocky plan: ravage ten key landscapes, eh? No, it isn't art!

(by Rosie Perera)

Oscar Pistorius appears tense, confused after first night in jail, officials say

(New York Daily News)

Photo: Global Panorama

Prosecutors said Pistorius was a gun-loving, short-fused, jealous brute who chased Steenkamp on his stumps to the bathroom and blasted four times through the door when she wouldn't come out = Court sends once boastful, now subdued athlete to Kgosi Mampuru jail for outburst. Mean thugs who disapproved shout out, howl, threaten to rape him. He's now most scared. Oh, gosh, he's in distress!

(by Jason Lofts)

Fashion Designer Oscar de la Renta Dies at 82

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: Princess Mousey Cards

Oscar Aristides Renta Fiallo = A sartorial icon falters, dies

(by Jason Lofts)

John Thornton Arrested For Alleged Aggressive Mopping

(Huffington Post)

Photo: vagawi

Man Arrested For "Aggressive Mopping" = Performed "assist" verging on rampage

(by Rosie Perera)

Pistorius jailed for five years

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Lwp Kommunikáció

Pistorius jailed for five years = I'd justify or raise life vs. a rope

(by Robert Jordan)

Nigeria's Ebola free - how did it do it?

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: CDC Global

Nigeria's Ebola free = Gee, Liberia no safer

(by Julian Lofts)

The tragic case of Nigeria's 'bird' woman

(BBC)

Photo: YouTube

The tragic case of Nigeria's 'bird' woman = Goose reincarnated as a grim witch? Fib!

(by Julian Lofts)

Is reheated pasta less fattening?

(BBC)

Photo: Wendell

Is reheated pasta less fattening? = Fitness: a spaghetti salad entree

(by Robert Jordan)

Death of white rhino in Kenya leaves only six animals alive in the world

(The Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

The white rhinoceros = Cheerio whitest horn

Ceratotherium simum cottoni - Latin taxonomy for ~ a rhinoceros mutation or, um, extinct family motto?

(by Julian Lofts)

Vandals deflate giant 'sex toy' sculpture in Paris

(The Daily Telegraph)


By the morning, the blow up art work was a shapeless green mess. Paul McCarthy said he did not want it to be repaired or re-erected = Pop artist hoped he can remonstrate with redneck crowd who swear eyesore resembles a giant anal butt plug yet disbarred him

(by Julian Lofts)

Shrien Dewani fit to stand trial over honeymoon murder of wife Anni

(The Guardian)

Photo: Global Panorama

The South African honeymoon killer Shrien Dewani = Wed Anni, hires man to kill her. Ooh, a fishy encounter!

(by Julian Lofts)

Britain redeploys drones to fight Isis

(Financial Times)

Photo: US DOD

Britain redeploys drones to fight Isis = Its toil brings hope. Destroy a fiend, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kurds struggle to defend besieged Syrian town from ISIS

(Fox News)

Photo: Sozialfotografie

Kurds struggle to defend besieged Syrian town from ISIS = Kobani resists doggedly, tired regiment suffers wounds

(by Jason Lofts)