Melbourne Cup favourite Admire Rakti dies

(RT)

Photo: Grant Courtney

Horse Admire Rakti dies = Hero dies - it's dire karma

(by Julian Lofts)

Disney Princesses With Realistic Waistlines Look Utterly Fabulous

(Huffington Post)

Photo: BuzzFeed/Loryn Brantz/Walt Disney Studios

Disney Princesses With Realistic Waistlines Look Utterly Fabulous = Boy! Archetypes' silliest ultra-skinniest waists now feel ridiculous!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Acker Bilk - obituary

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Bradford Timeline

English clarinettist Bernard Stanley "Acker" Bilk has died = Hail kindest, bright, classy, slick entertainer, bandleader

(by Julian Lofts)

Terminally ill woman in Oregon takes own life

(Houston Chronicle)


Oregon's Death With Dignity Law = God, a state worthwhile dying in!

(by Jason Lofts)

A majority of Scots would vote for independence now says poll

(Daily News & Analysis)

Photo: Ross

A majority of Scots would vote for independence now says poll = Oddly, Scotsmen people in force view London's just too far away?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The List of Countries, Kingdoms, Empires and Principalities

Illustration: Kai Schreiber

The List of Countries, Kingdoms, Empires and Principalities 1. Algeria 2. Angola 3. Anguilla 4. Australia 5. Bahamas 6. Bali 7. Bangladesh 8. Bermuda 9. Bolivia 10.Bosnia 11.Botswana 12.Brazil 13.Brunei Darussalam 14.Burma 15.Burundi 16.Cameroon,Bulgaria, Kenya, Libya, Luxembourg, Netherlands (Holland), Singapore 17.Canada 18.China, Hong Kong 19.Colombia, Chile 20.Costa Rica 21.Croatia 22.Denmark, England 23.Democratic Republic of the Congo 24.France, Portugal 25.French Polynesia 26.Gabon 27.Georgia 28.Germany, Mexico 29.Gibraltar 30.Greece, Seychelles 31.Greenland 32.Guatemala 33.Honduras, Kosovo 34.Iran 35.Jordan, Qatar 36.Kazakhstan, Rwanda 37.Kuwait, Western Sahara 38.Latvia 39.Lebanon 40.Maldives 41.Mexico 42.Nepal 43.New Zealand 44.North Korea 45.Palestinian territories 46.PNG 47.Puerto Rico, Saint Lucia 48.Philippines 49.Poland 50.Russian Federation 51.South Africa 52.South Korea 53.Spain 54.Sweden, Norway 55.Taiwan 56.Tibet 57.Trinidad & Tobago 58.United Kingdom 59.United States of America 60.Zimbabwe

=

Announcing A Few National Mascots, Insignias, Fauna (Animals, Birds et cetera) in addition to Symbols 1. Fox 2.Turaco 3. Zenaida dove 4. Kangaroo, koala 5. Marlin (Makaira nigricans) 6. Starling (Indonesian mynah) 7. Tiger, Oriental magpie robin 8. Humpback whale 9. Llama 10.Tornjak 11.Grevy's zebra 12.Macaw 13.Tiger 14.Daung 15.Hyena 16.Lion 17.North American beaver 18.Giant panda 19.Andean condor 20.Thrush 21.Iris, marten (polecat) 22.Mute swan 23.Okapi 24.Rooster 25.Tiare 26.Black panther 27.Caucasian shepherd dog 28.Eagle 29.Ape 30.Dolphin 31.Polar bear (Ursus maritimus) 32.Quetzal 33.Deer 34.Asiatic lion 35.Oryx 36.Leopard (not Indian) 37.Arabian Camel 38.White wagtail 39.Phoenix 40.Pigeon (kotharu) 41.Golden eagle 42.Cow (edible fauna) 43.Kiwi 44.Chollima 45.Sunbird 46.Dugong, birds of paradisev 47.Amazon 48.Carabao 49.Bison 50.Brown Bear (Ursus arctos) 51.Springbok 52.Tiger 53.Bull 54.Elk 55.Bear 56.Yeti 57.Rufous-vented chachalaca, scarlet ibis 58.Bulldog 59.North American bald eagle 60.Sable antelope (ungulate) Satisfied?

(by Julian Lofts)

Apple says it'll never make a cheap iPhone

(TechRadar)

Photo: Martin Hajek

Apple says it'll never make a cheap iPhone = Snip! Heavy pocket meanie appals all here!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Chelsea Handler mocks Putin with topless photo; Instagram says no

(USA Today)


Chelsea Handler mocks Putin with topless photo; Instagram says no = Lithe woman's nipplegate snapshot on horse shocks. Radical, smutty!

(by Jason Lofts)

Sarah Palin Says She's Hoping To Run For Office Again

(Huffington Post)


Sarah Palin Says She's Hoping To Run For Office Again = Pres of Russia: "Oh, ho! A passing fancy, another failing!"

(by Dharam)

Sarah Palin Says She's Hoping To Run For Office Again = A laugh, no? Horrifying fat ass scenario if so happens!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Edmonton Airport Therapy Dogs Aim To Calm Travellers

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Global Jet

Therapy Dogs in Edmonton Airport = Departing to indoor pets' harmony

(by Rosie Perera)

Unmanned Antares rocket explodes on launch

(USA Today)

Photo: NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

Unmanned Antares rocket explodes on launch = An alarm! Oh! No! End result's an unexpected conk!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Baby wipes recalled due to bacterial contamination

(CNN)

Photo: Smokey Combs

Nutek Disposables baby wipes recalled = Dubbed news says, "Bacteria kills people!"

(by Rosie Perera)

What HAS Renee Zellweger done to her face?

Daily Mail

WALK AWAY RENEE sung by The Four Tops And when I see the sign that points one way The lot we used to pass by every day Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same You're not to blame From deep inside the tears I'm forced to cry From deep inside the pain That I chose to hide Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home Now as the rain burns down upon my weary eyes For me it cries Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home Now as the rain burns down upon my weary eyes For me it cries Your name and mine inside A heart on a wall Still finds a way to haunt me Though they're so small Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same You're not to blame

=

LOOK AT YOU NOW, RENEE by www.eeriewoman.com We liked your milky skin, the feline eyes, The baby-cheeks as plump as apple-pie. Why did you change Renée? Your many fans didn't want you to, That horsey face, the now blank smile are not the same, It's you we blame. Why can't you see what you Perceived as flaws Were facets of your face That we all adored? Look at you now, Renée, The same as so many other babes, You think we like you with your brow so smooth 'n' new, Well it's not true. Look at you now, Renée, A wilful woman who lost her way The mystery's gone and now we think you seem just bland, Just perma-tanned. You won't play Bridget Jones, No, the moment's passed, You're just like someone from a 'Mamma Mia' cast Look at the new Renée A symbol of mediocrity, Remember when your face had personality? It's sad to see.

(by Tony Crafter)

British parrot named Nigel vanishes four years ago - only to return speaking Spanish

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Brenna Daugherty

British parrot named Nigel vanishes four years ago - only to return speaking Spanish = Interesting enigma! Proof: upon drinking sherry, he says "Hasta la vista!", "Burro", "Espanol"

(by Julian Lofts)

Boy Who Shot Albino Deer With Crossbow Receives Death Threats

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Adrian Korte

Boy who killed albino deer with crossbow receives death threats = To kid who slew white hart, belabored by others: "Crass violence, die!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Exclusive: Evict the nuisance next door!

(The Daily Express)

Photo: noricum

Exclusive: Evict the nuisance next door! = Is next unethical ruse conceived to vex?

(by Robert Jordan)

Dog's destructive underwear fetish

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Stuff.co.nz

Dog's destructive underwear fetish = Vet: Frustrated, so I chewed grundies*

*Grundies is Australian/NZ slang for underwear

(by Jason Lofts)

Dog's destructive underwear fetish = Fetching drawers! Rue to us divested

(by Robert Jordan)

'An alien has grown in my bottle of vinegar!' Mum makes horror discovery of creature

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Ryan

'An alien has grown in my bottle of vinegar!' Mum makes horror discovery of creature = None worry ok, over a genus of live bacteria, in truth, forming a harmless mycoderma

(by Robert Jordan)

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II joins social media age with 1st tweet

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II joins social media age with 1st tweet (CNN)

Photo: Science Museum London

Queen Elizabeth II posts her first tweet = Hope Twitter equalizes these fine Brits

(by Rosie Perera)

Cockerel given 'ASBO' and ordered to stop crowing

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Thomas Hawk

Cockerel given 'ASBO' and ordered to stop crowing = Cock a doodle do bring carping even rooster stew

(by Robert Jordan)