Animals sacrificed in Nepal to bring good luck

(Houston Chronicle)


Animals sacrificed in Nepal to bring good luck = Pacifist Anu Garg: "No! Condemn diabolic killers!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Christian Poincheval Invents Pill That Makes Farts Smell Like Chocolate

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Fabpop Online

Christian Poincheval invents a pill that makes farts smell like chocolate = Most phenomenal! Cacao helps kill that invasive rich fecal stink. Let's trial!

(by Jason Lofts)

Christian Poincheval = Ah, pal is chic inventor!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Shakespeare First Folio found in French library

(The Guardian)

Photo: Megan Rosenbloom

Shakespeare First Folio found in French library = Er, I'd furnish/refresh frail book of ancient plays.

(by Rosie Perera)

China bans wordplay in attempt at pun control

(The Guardian)

Photo: Dave

China bans wordplay in attempt at controlling puns = Anagram phobic? Not punny! Strict plea will not stand

(by Julian Lofts)

Cosby philanthropy shadowed by allegations

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Amarand Agasi

Cosby's philanthropy is shadowed by allegations = O yes, cops say Bill's a bawdy, philandering hotshot

(by Julian Lofts)

Richmond man who wrote Cosby Show theme discusses allegations against Bill Cosby

(WTVR)


The sexual allegations against Cosby = I say Huxtable got no legal assistance!

(by Adie Pena)

Ferguson on fire

(Washington Post)

Photo: Swelleganza

Ferguson, Missouri = US so grim, US on fire

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hagel, under pressure, resigns as US defense secretary

(Reuters)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

Hagel resigns = Generals sigh

(by Adie Pena)

Pope Describes Europe as 'Elderly and Haggard'

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: Catholic Church England

Pope Describes Europe as 'Elderly and Haggard' = Aged preacher appears senile. Godly dud bores.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ferguson on Fire

(ABC News)

Photo: sarah-ji

Ferguson Officer = Forces of gunfire

(by Eric Strautman)

Kamala The Ugandan Giant, Former Pro Wrestler, Struggles As A Double Amputee

(Huffington Post)


Kamala the Ugandan Giant, former professional wrestler, struggles as a double amputee = How a gargantuan grappler's legs taken due to diabetes. All mars morose man's future life.

(by Jason Lofts)

Full statement by Bill Cosby's lawyer

(Toronto Star)

Photo: The World Affairs Council

Mr Cosby's lawyer, Martin Singer, on the allegations = "Tarts cry orgy? Bill is a gentleman, he's no womaniser

(by Julian Lofts)

Putin becomes eighth-degree black belt

(CNN)

Photo: Jedimentat44

Putin becomes eighth-degree black belt = Epic bare-chested bloke getting humble?

(by Julian Lofts)

Lisa Bonet's cryptic tweets may hint at Bill Cosby scandal

(Fox News)

Photo: Jacky Jasper

Lisa Bonet/Denise Huxtable's cryptic tweets = What? Acute pest Bill Cosby interested in sex?

(by Jason Lofts)

American journalists not happy about Royal visit dress code

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Katrina Koger

American journalists not happy about Royal visit dress code = Very snooty - i.e. just put on chic bra, pearls, diamonds, tiara also

(by Julian Lofts)

Pooh banned from Polish playground

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Neal Fowler

Winnie the Pooh has been banned from a Polish playground because of his "dubious sexuality" and "inappropriate" dress sense = A hubbub! "A hermaphrodite" snipes one. "I espy no sexual organs!" spits another one . "Nude, bawdy, sinful!" despaired fashion police

(by Julian Lofts)

City seeks to stop men from sitting with their legs spread on public transport

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Antonia Artbeat

'Man spreading' is the curse of public transport = "Crotch perturbs- a spiteful sin!" opines Grandma

(by Julian Lofts)

Snow storms the worst in memory for western New York residents with fresh snowfall adding to chaos

(ABC News)

Photo: Anthony Lorenzo

New York's weather = Rather snowy week

(by Jason Lofts)

Julian Assange sex case: Swedish court upholds warrant

(BBC)

Photo: Ben Bryant

Update on Assange's sex case: Swedish court upholds his warrant = A rapist's sad, sour, and upset as he exchanges words with counsel

(by Julian Lofts)

Zen anti-Vietnam war leader Thich Nhat Hanh suffers brain haemorrhage

(Reuters)

Photo: Paul Davis

Zen anti-Vietnam war leader Thich Nhat Hanh suffers brain haemorrhage = Ah, return for an anagram when I hear the French have this man stabilized.

(by Dharam Khalsa)