Large Study Explores How Often Patients Wake Up During Surgery

(IFLScience)

Photo: Army Medicine

The "accidental awareness" phenomenon = Concerned when not ample anaesthesia

(by Rosie Perera)

Italy: Senza glutine? Si, si

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: GeneralMills

Italy: Senza glutine? Si, si = Zesty eats: linguini ails!

(by Robert Jordan)

The Last Six Presidents of the USA

Photo: Wikimedia

Last six Presidents of the USA: 1. Carter 2. Reagan 3. George H. W. Bush (Senior) 4. Clinton 5. G.W. Bush 6. Obama

=

1. Peanut farmer 2. "B" actor 3. Was rich (oil/gas) 4. Suggests sex with intern, oh no! 5. "G-Dub" 6. He's reasonable

(by Jason Lofts)

Republican aide resigns after saying Sasha and Malia Obama lack 'class'

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: mzminthehouse

A Republican aide resigns after saying the Obama sisters lack 'class' = Truly profane backbiter criticises Sasha and Malia - a senseless gag!

(by Julian Lofts)

"We lost the focus on the bricks": Interview with Roar Rude Trangbaek, press officer of the Lego Group

(International Trade News)

Photo: Nick Della Mora

Lego's Communications Manager Roar Rude Trangbaek = Anagram: Absurd name! Interlocking's core to our game

(by Jason Lofts)

Dr Lam Hoe Yeoh: Voyeur doctor jailed for eight years after using network of hidden cameras to film patients, colleagues and friends on the toilet

(The Independent)


Dr Lam Hoe Yeoh = My head, her loo.

(by Adie Pena)

Animals sacrificed in Nepal to bring good luck

(Houston Chronicle)


Animals sacrificed in Nepal to bring good luck = Pacifist Anu Garg: "No! Condemn diabolic killers!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Christian Poincheval Invents Pill That Makes Farts Smell Like Chocolate

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Fabpop Online

Christian Poincheval invents a pill that makes farts smell like chocolate = Most phenomenal! Cacao helps kill that invasive rich fecal stink. Let's trial!

(by Jason Lofts)

Christian Poincheval = Ah, pal is chic inventor!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Shakespeare First Folio found in French library

(The Guardian)

Photo: Megan Rosenbloom

Shakespeare First Folio found in French library = Er, I'd furnish/refresh frail book of ancient plays.

(by Rosie Perera)

China bans wordplay in attempt at pun control

(The Guardian)

Photo: Dave

China bans wordplay in attempt at controlling puns = Anagram phobic? Not punny! Strict plea will not stand

(by Julian Lofts)

Cosby philanthropy shadowed by allegations

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Amarand Agasi

Cosby's philanthropy is shadowed by allegations = O yes, cops say Bill's a bawdy, philandering hotshot

(by Julian Lofts)

Richmond man who wrote Cosby Show theme discusses allegations against Bill Cosby

(WTVR)


The sexual allegations against Cosby = I say Huxtable got no legal assistance!

(by Adie Pena)

Ferguson on fire

(Washington Post)

Photo: Swelleganza

Ferguson, Missouri = US so grim, US on fire

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hagel, under pressure, resigns as US defense secretary

(Reuters)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

Hagel resigns = Generals sigh

(by Adie Pena)

Pope Describes Europe as 'Elderly and Haggard'

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: Catholic Church England

Pope Describes Europe as 'Elderly and Haggard' = Aged preacher appears senile. Godly dud bores.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ferguson on Fire

(ABC News)

Photo: sarah-ji

Ferguson Officer = Forces of gunfire

(by Eric Strautman)

Kamala The Ugandan Giant, Former Pro Wrestler, Struggles As A Double Amputee

(Huffington Post)


Kamala the Ugandan Giant, former professional wrestler, struggles as a double amputee = How a gargantuan grappler's legs taken due to diabetes. All mars morose man's future life.

(by Jason Lofts)

Full statement by Bill Cosby's lawyer

(Toronto Star)

Photo: The World Affairs Council

Mr Cosby's lawyer, Martin Singer, on the allegations = "Tarts cry orgy? Bill is a gentleman, he's no womaniser

(by Julian Lofts)

Putin becomes eighth-degree black belt

(CNN)

Photo: Jedimentat44

Putin becomes eighth-degree black belt = Epic bare-chested bloke getting humble?

(by Julian Lofts)

Lisa Bonet's cryptic tweets may hint at Bill Cosby scandal

(Fox News)

Photo: Jacky Jasper

Lisa Bonet/Denise Huxtable's cryptic tweets = What? Acute pest Bill Cosby interested in sex?

(by Jason Lofts)