1000-Year-Old Chinese Mummy Gets CT Scan in Amersfoort

(NL Times)

Photo: Jan van Esch / Meander Medisch Centrum

Thousand-year-old Chinese mummy gets CT scan in Amersfoort = Done, team confirms hunch: Mystery gold statue's core is a man!

(by Dharam)

Man beats wife on wedding night after failing to get her dress off

(New York Post)

Photo: Facebook

Gavin Golightly beat Amy Dawson = A blond gal got way heavy smiting

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Jeb Bush: "I am my own man"

(MSNBC)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Jeb Bush, you're so dim to say 'I am my own man' = A hominid's mumbo jumbo. Anyway, see story...

(by Julian Lofts)

"It's Belgium, it's France, it's now Denmark"- Danish Justice Minister

(Yahoo! News)


"It's Belgium, it's France, it's now Denmark"- Danish Justice Minister = In fact, I murmur: Jihadists slew innocent residents. Big mistake!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Cindy Crawford lingerie image stirs debate over what 'real women' look like

(CNN)

Photo: Marie Claire

The US supermodel Cindy Crawford = Mad, wild cry of press: "Unretouched!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Artist Claims Hanging Penis Sculptures Are Clouds

(Huffington Post)


Artist claims hanging penis sculptures are clouds = Press criticises strange and giant "cumulo-phallus"

Artist claims hanging penis sculptures are clouds = Strange passing phallic cumulus censored. Is it art?

(by Jason Lofts)

Murder charge for Indian tycoon accused of ramming guard

(BBC)

Photo: Facebook

Murder charge for the Indian tycoon accused of ramming his guard = Horrific! One of Anu Garg's disgraced countrymen. Ah, Hummer addict!

(by Julian Lofts)

Oscar Pistorius to receive new privileges in prison

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Lwp Kommunikáció

The South African Oscar Pistorius is to receive new privileges in prison = Soap on a rope? Vaseline? Circus rights? HIV? Enteric fissure? Peritonitis? Ow!

(by Julian Lofts)

Benedict Cumberbatch Is A Temperamental Genius In Imitation Game Trailers

(CinemaBlend)


"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." -William Shakespeare = Overtemperamental maths genius Alan M. Turing assesses, perseveres, breaks the Enigma code. Ooh, what a hero!

(by Jason Lofts)

A Valentine's Day wedding for Benedict Cumberbatch

(CNN)

Photo: See Li

Benedict Cumberbatch weds Sophie Hunter in small ceremony on the Isle of Wight = It means symbolic steps: no longer the unencumbered bachelor; hitched with wife.

(by Rosie Perera)

Eight Million Tons of Plastic Dumped in Ocean Every Year

(National Geographic)

Photo: Onny Carr

We dump eight million metric tons of plastic debris into the ocean each year = I see humanity's one terrific ecological problem with depths contaminated

(by Jason Lofts)

It's a 'blood-soaked conspiracy'

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Ken Lee

The 'blood-soaked conspiracy' of Valentine's Day ~ and evident as proof anybody likes chocolates

(by Julian Lofts)

Pope to new cardinals: Put aside pride, jealousy, anger

(USA Today)

Photo: President Sri Lanka

Pope Francis delivers tough-love message to new cardinals: Put aside pride, jealousy and self-interests and instead exercise perfect charity = Crestfallen Papa: "You (expletive deleted) depraved , cross-dressing, effete pederasts, i.e. women/girls... You antichristian, anachronistic Judases...!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Plan to broadcast messages to alien worlds leaves cosmologists worrying

(The Independent)

Photo: Gary

The acronym SETI means Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence = Hmm. Errs in secretly alerting alien rat-races to existence of Earth.

(by Julian Lofts)

More Fighting In Ukraine After Peace Deal

(Sky News)

Photo: Joe Flood

More Fighting In Ukraine After Peace Deal = Reeking fat maniac, ogre Putin, failed here.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Palestinians call for boycott of Israeli goods

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Gueorgui Tcherednitchenko

Palestinians call for boycott of Israeli goods = Locals' obligation is "Don't pay for foe's articles!"

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Costa Concordia captain convicted in deadly shipwreck

(CNN)

Photo: Hot Gossip Italia

Costa Concordia captain convicted in deadly shipwreck = Cap decisive action on cad and cowardly prick, Schettino.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Greece: Greenspan predicts exit from euro inevitable

(BBC)

Photo: Norse Graphics

Greenspan predicts exit from euro inevitable = Prominent US expert said final bit over Greece

(by Jason Lofts)

Military Spouses Hacked, Threatened by Alleged ISIS Sympathizer

(NBC News)

Photo: DVIDSHUB

Military spouses = ISIS tramples you

(by Rosie Perera)

Disgraced finance chief Strauss Kahn tells 'pimping' trial he 'only' managed to attend 12 orgies in three years

(Daily Mail)

Cartoon: NaOH

Dominique Strauss-Kahn on charges of proxenetism = Man sent hookers for sex orgies. Acquit? Punish? Damn?

(by Jason Lofts)