Benedict Daswa is set to become southern Africa's first saint

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: namronpeter

The Pope considers the venerable Benedict Daswa for canonisation = Padre: "Fret not, bereaved clan, we hope Ben is sainted on this occasion"

(by Julian Lofts)

Solar eclipse is warning message from God, say Christian pastors

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: José Ángel

Solar eclipse is warning message from God, say Christian pastors = Atheist: "Grr! I dismiss Apocalypse's omen as wrong! Logic's far saner!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Massacre at Tunisia museum

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Wikimedia

The Tunis massacre = Miscreants hate us

The Tunisian massacre = Sectarian enthusiasm?

(by Julian Lofts)

Hilary Duff's Sexy Bikini Pic

(Yahoo!)

Photo: mikelcain

Hilary Duff's Sexy Bikini Pic = I irk iffy ex-husband spicily

(by Robert Jordan)

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections

(Bristol Post)

Photo: Pomax

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections = And see, our U.S. husbands wish to retire in Costa Rica and be affected by such sweet poison!

(by Dharam)

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections = Wow, buddy! Side effect is nauseous! Creature's bite sees instant arachnophobic hard-ons!

(by Maurice Goddard)

ISIS' dark mission: Destroying all signs of Christianity

(Fox News)

Photo: Prachatai

ISIS' dark mission: Destroying all signs of Christianity = Diagnosis: Scary misogynist killers finish traditions

(by Jason Lofts)

Barack Obama: I don't have Kanye West's home number

(TVNZ)


President Barack Obama's said "I don't have Kanye West's home phone number" = He's a wanker, a dickhead, a smutty moron, a bombast. He's inbred. "Pensive"? - Nope!

(by Julian Lofts)

Kurds say Islamic State used chlorine as weapon in Iraq

(YnetNews)

Photo: Alan Denney

Kurds say Islamic State used chlorine as weapon in Iraq = Wicked Caliphate liquidates a sorry mass. Unreason! Sin!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Scientists, math lovers celebrate Pi Day

(Khaleej Times)

Photo: Dennis Wilkinson

Scientists, math lovers celebrate Pi Day on 3.14.15 = And times by this (3.1415) solves circle area. Potent!

(by Jason Lofts)

Leaving early to avoid the rush

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Federico Giacanelli

Leaving early to avoid the rush = God: "I value novelist Terry, haha!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Indian bride walks out of wedding when groom fails math test

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Praveen

Indian bride walks out of wedding when groom fails math test = Girl/wife: Man is daft. He knows not how to add numbers. A git lied.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

In Nemtsov Investigation, Theories Multiply in Russian Media

(The New York Times)

Photo: Morten F

In Nemtsov Investigation, Theories Multiply in Russian Media = Eminent egoist Vladimir Putin, a sly rat, in sin. Heinous motives!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Home-Made Religion

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Khalid Hameed

Home-Made Religion = Imam ego, holier end!

(by Robert Jordan)

Solar-powered plane takes off for round-the-world flight

(Washington Post)

Photo: Ed Mullin

Solar-powered plane takes off for round-the-world flight = Grand top work flew there! Herald not a drop of fossil fuel!

Oklahoma University Fraternity Closed After Racist Chant Video Posted

(National Public Radio)


Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter = Aagh, help topple racism (a sin)!

(by Jason Lofts)

Dog Poisoned at Crufts Dog Show, Owner Claims

(Time)

Photo: The Kennel Club

A red setter is poisoned at the Crufts Dog Show, an owner claims = Murder? Canine pathologist's food/water tests showed arsenic!

(by Jason Lofts)

US tourists caught carving names into Rome's Colosseum

(The Guardian)

Photo: LoKan Sardari

US tourists caught carving their names into Rome's Colosseum = Malicious acts! Grooves cut might sure ruin the Romans' stones

(by Jason Lofts)

Eric Holder Prepared To Dismantle Ferguson Police Department If 'Necessary'

(Huffington Post)

Photo: peoplesworld

Ferguson Police Department = Resentment; cop group failed

(by Jason Lofts)

Outcry over Isis destruction of ancient Assyrian site of Nimrud

(The Guardian)


The ancient Assyrian site of Nimrud = Ah, fact - ISIS destroy an eminent ruin

(by Julian Lofts)

Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and Egypt Unify to Battle ISIS--Is Iran Next?

(The Observer)

Photo: remolacha

Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Egypt Unify to Battle ISIS = Daily update out: Arabs join against fiery bandits

(by Aronas Pinchas)