Reburial of Richard III - live

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Dave Crosby

Re: burial of Richard III - live = "Horrific," I rail, "buried alive?"

(by Robert Jordan)

Cops hunt for 'Bowel Movement Bandit' who poops on cars

(New York Post)


Cops hunt for 'Bowel Movement Bandit' who poops on cars = Oops! We'd inform the man, "Cut the crap! No poo blobs on VWs!"

(by Dharam)

Crashed Germanwings 9525 operated by Lufthansa's budget airline

(CNN)

Photo: Quentin

The Lufthansa subsidiary Germanwings = Rash humans flying in Airbus get wasted

(by Jason Lofts)

Why Angelina Jolie Chose to Have Her Ovaries Removed

(Time)

Photo: Ismail Mia

Angelina's ovaries = Alive's a reasoning

(by Julian Lofts)

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine?

(Al Jazeera)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Wise obese barbarian polled in first

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Beware of person - is brilliant, biased

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Abbas foresaw it, inspired rebellion

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Episode Ten: Arabs will fire on rabbis

(by Jason Lofts)

Richard III: The definitive lowdown on the five-day reinterment programme

(The Hinckley Times)

Photo: Lisby

Richard III: The definitive lowdown on the five-day reinterment programme = I'd not grieve for the identified medieval monarch! Write "Amen" in worthy RIP.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Benedict Daswa is set to become southern Africa's first saint

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: namronpeter

The Pope considers the venerable Benedict Daswa for canonisation = Padre: "Fret not, bereaved clan, we hope Ben is sainted on this occasion"

(by Julian Lofts)

Solar eclipse is warning message from God, say Christian pastors

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: José Ángel

Solar eclipse is warning message from God, say Christian pastors = Atheist: "Grr! I dismiss Apocalypse's omen as wrong! Logic's far saner!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Massacre at Tunisia museum

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Wikimedia

The Tunis massacre = Miscreants hate us

The Tunisian massacre = Sectarian enthusiasm?

(by Julian Lofts)

Hilary Duff's Sexy Bikini Pic

(Yahoo!)

Photo: mikelcain

Hilary Duff's Sexy Bikini Pic = I irk iffy ex-husband spicily

(by Robert Jordan)

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections

(Bristol Post)

Photo: Pomax

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections = And see, our U.S. husbands wish to retire in Costa Rica and be affected by such sweet poison!

(by Dharam)

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections = Wow, buddy! Side effect is nauseous! Creature's bite sees instant arachnophobic hard-ons!

(by Maurice Goddard)

ISIS' dark mission: Destroying all signs of Christianity

(Fox News)

Photo: Prachatai

ISIS' dark mission: Destroying all signs of Christianity = Diagnosis: Scary misogynist killers finish traditions

(by Jason Lofts)

Barack Obama: I don't have Kanye West's home number

(TVNZ)


President Barack Obama's said "I don't have Kanye West's home phone number" = He's a wanker, a dickhead, a smutty moron, a bombast. He's inbred. "Pensive"? - Nope!

(by Julian Lofts)

Kurds say Islamic State used chlorine as weapon in Iraq

(YnetNews)

Photo: Alan Denney

Kurds say Islamic State used chlorine as weapon in Iraq = Wicked Caliphate liquidates a sorry mass. Unreason! Sin!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Scientists, math lovers celebrate Pi Day

(Khaleej Times)

Photo: Dennis Wilkinson

Scientists, math lovers celebrate Pi Day on 3.14.15 = And times by this (3.1415) solves circle area. Potent!

(by Jason Lofts)

Leaving early to avoid the rush

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Federico Giacanelli

Leaving early to avoid the rush = God: "I value novelist Terry, haha!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Indian bride walks out of wedding when groom fails math test

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Praveen

Indian bride walks out of wedding when groom fails math test = Girl/wife: Man is daft. He knows not how to add numbers. A git lied.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

In Nemtsov Investigation, Theories Multiply in Russian Media

(The New York Times)

Photo: Morten F

In Nemtsov Investigation, Theories Multiply in Russian Media = Eminent egoist Vladimir Putin, a sly rat, in sin. Heinous motives!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Home-Made Religion

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Khalid Hameed

Home-Made Religion = Imam ego, holier end!

(by Robert Jordan)

Solar-powered plane takes off for round-the-world flight

(Washington Post)

Photo: Ed Mullin

Solar-powered plane takes off for round-the-world flight = Grand top work flew there! Herald not a drop of fossil fuel!