Hillary Clinton wiped email server clean

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Public.Resource.Org

Hillary Clinton has wiped email server clean = Hell! Rash! Revile cynical presidential woman

(by Julian Lofts)

Italian court acquits Knox and Sollecito of Kercher murder

(BBC)

Photo: Ninian Reid

"The knowledge of my innocence has given me strength in the darkest times of this ordeal," Amanda Knox said in a statement = "O, I am an attestant, one misdemeanant. After sex we evil sickos got high, strangled 'Ms Moody' and then knifed her in the neck."

(by Julian Lofts)

Alps crash: The pilots who immolated themselves and their passengers

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Diggita Italia

Pilot suicides ~ politicised us

(by Julian Lofts)

Top 10 Richest Soccer Players: Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo & Neymar Top List of Highest Paid Soccer Athletes in the World

(Latin Post)

Illustration: Charis Tsevis

Most paid soccer player in the world is Lionel Messi = Especially shrewd competitor's raised millions, no?

(by Jason Lofts)

Asia's deadly secret: The scourge of the betel nut

(BBC)

Photo: Nagarjun Kandukuru

Asia's deadly secret is the scourge of the betel nut = It's detestable. Hefty use - get hideous oral cancers

(by Julian Lofts)

'They are going to eat him!': nuns stun Pope

(The Daily Telegraph)


'They are going to eat him!': nuns stun Pope = Oy! Seething nuns pat the poor image nut!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Germanwings A320 crash: New blow for Lufthansa

(The Australian)

Photo: Aero Icarus

Lufthansa = Shun! Fatal!

(by Jason Lofts)

Reburial of Richard III - live

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Dave Crosby

Re: burial of Richard III - live = "Horrific," I rail, "buried alive?"

(by Robert Jordan)

Cops hunt for 'Bowel Movement Bandit' who poops on cars

(New York Post)


Cops hunt for 'Bowel Movement Bandit' who poops on cars = Oops! We'd inform the man, "Cut the crap! No poo blobs on VWs!"

(by Dharam)

Crashed Germanwings 9525 operated by Lufthansa's budget airline

(CNN)

Photo: Quentin

The Lufthansa subsidiary Germanwings = Rash humans flying in Airbus get wasted

(by Jason Lofts)

Why Angelina Jolie Chose to Have Her Ovaries Removed

(Time)

Photo: Ismail Mia

Angelina's ovaries = Alive's a reasoning

(by Julian Lofts)

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine?

(Al Jazeera)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Wise obese barbarian polled in first

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Beware of person - is brilliant, biased

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Abbas foresaw it, inspired rebellion

Bibi: Bad news for Israel or Palestine? = Episode Ten: Arabs will fire on rabbis

(by Jason Lofts)

Richard III: The definitive lowdown on the five-day reinterment programme

(The Hinckley Times)

Photo: Lisby

Richard III: The definitive lowdown on the five-day reinterment programme = I'd not grieve for the identified medieval monarch! Write "Amen" in worthy RIP.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Benedict Daswa is set to become southern Africa's first saint

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: namronpeter

The Pope considers the venerable Benedict Daswa for canonisation = Padre: "Fret not, bereaved clan, we hope Ben is sainted on this occasion"

(by Julian Lofts)

Solar eclipse is warning message from God, say Christian pastors

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: José Ángel

Solar eclipse is warning message from God, say Christian pastors = Atheist: "Grr! I dismiss Apocalypse's omen as wrong! Logic's far saner!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Massacre at Tunisia museum

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Wikimedia

The Tunis massacre = Miscreants hate us

The Tunisian massacre = Sectarian enthusiasm?

(by Julian Lofts)

Hilary Duff's Sexy Bikini Pic

(Yahoo!)

Photo: mikelcain

Hilary Duff's Sexy Bikini Pic = I irk iffy ex-husband spicily

(by Robert Jordan)

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections

(Bristol Post)

Photo: Pomax

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections = And see, our U.S. husbands wish to retire in Costa Rica and be affected by such sweet poison!

(by Dharam)

Dad buys Tesco bananas infested with spiders whose bite can cause four hour erections = Wow, buddy! Side effect is nauseous! Creature's bite sees instant arachnophobic hard-ons!

(by Maurice Goddard)

ISIS' dark mission: Destroying all signs of Christianity

(Fox News)

Photo: Prachatai

ISIS' dark mission: Destroying all signs of Christianity = Diagnosis: Scary misogynist killers finish traditions

(by Jason Lofts)

Barack Obama: I don't have Kanye West's home number

(TVNZ)


President Barack Obama's said "I don't have Kanye West's home phone number" = He's a wanker, a dickhead, a smutty moron, a bombast. He's inbred. "Pensive"? - Nope!

(by Julian Lofts)