China family of seven drown in failed rescue

(BBC)

Photo: Malingering

China family of seven drown in failed rescue = Failure of life (chi). None can swim - very sad end

(by Julian Lofts)

Varoufakis resignation rumor denied by Greek Ministry of Finance

(MarketWatch)

Photo: EU Council Eurozone

Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis = Keynesian maverick (a ruffian) is to resign?

(by Jason Lofts)

Bizarre Syndrome Makes Visitors to Jerusalem Go Crazy

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: jasonwain

Jerusalem syndrome = Er...Lord, my name Jesus!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

France divides the fashion world by banning skinny models

(The Daily Telegraph)


France moves to ban skinny fashion models = French invoke BMI; soon only damn fat asses!

(by Jason Lofts)

When cats go bad

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Doug Wheller

When cats go bad = What can dogs be?

(by Robert Jordan)

Hundreds protest Islamic law in Australia

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Lynette

Hundreds in Islamic law protest = Halt pitiless racism Down Under!

"Reclaim Australia" movement = Ultra-Islamic area met venom

(by Jason Lofts)

Iran will honour nuclear deal if powers do likewise - Rouhani

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: World Economic Forum

Iran will honour nuclear deal if powers do likewise - Rouhani = Oh no, dear! I produce a nuke...Hell follows - I win war, I ruin Israel

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Classroom experiment goes painfully awry

(Daily Mail)


This classroom experiment goes painfully awry = On film: axe pulps teacher's genitals. Yow! "I'm sorry!"

(by Julian Lofts)

I nearly drowned in chocolate

(BBC)

Photo: Jennuine Captures

I nearly drowned in chocolate = Done concealed within a lorry

(by Robert Jordan)

Mark Lundy retrial: Shirt 'no place for wife's brain'

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: James Vaughan

Shirt 'no place for wife's brain' = When stain-proof fabric riles

(by Robert Jordan)

Hillary Clinton wiped email server clean

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Public.Resource.Org

Hillary Clinton has wiped email server clean = Hell! Rash! Revile cynical presidential woman

(by Julian Lofts)

Italian court acquits Knox and Sollecito of Kercher murder

(BBC)

Photo: Ninian Reid

"The knowledge of my innocence has given me strength in the darkest times of this ordeal," Amanda Knox said in a statement = "O, I am an attestant, one misdemeanant. After sex we evil sickos got high, strangled 'Ms Moody' and then knifed her in the neck."

(by Julian Lofts)

Alps crash: The pilots who immolated themselves and their passengers

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Diggita Italia

Pilot suicides ~ politicised us

(by Julian Lofts)

Top 10 Richest Soccer Players: Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo & Neymar Top List of Highest Paid Soccer Athletes in the World

(Latin Post)

Illustration: Charis Tsevis

Most paid soccer player in the world is Lionel Messi = Especially shrewd competitor's raised millions, no?

(by Jason Lofts)

Asia's deadly secret: The scourge of the betel nut

(BBC)

Photo: Nagarjun Kandukuru

Asia's deadly secret is the scourge of the betel nut = It's detestable. Hefty use - get hideous oral cancers

(by Julian Lofts)

'They are going to eat him!': nuns stun Pope

(The Daily Telegraph)


'They are going to eat him!': nuns stun Pope = Oy! Seething nuns pat the poor image nut!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Germanwings A320 crash: New blow for Lufthansa

(The Australian)

Photo: Aero Icarus

Lufthansa = Shun! Fatal!

(by Jason Lofts)

Reburial of Richard III - live

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Dave Crosby

Re: burial of Richard III - live = "Horrific," I rail, "buried alive?"

(by Robert Jordan)

Cops hunt for 'Bowel Movement Bandit' who poops on cars

(New York Post)


Cops hunt for 'Bowel Movement Bandit' who poops on cars = Oops! We'd inform the man, "Cut the crap! No poo blobs on VWs!"

(by Dharam)

Crashed Germanwings 9525 operated by Lufthansa's budget airline

(CNN)

Photo: Quentin

The Lufthansa subsidiary Germanwings = Rash humans flying in Airbus get wasted

(by Jason Lofts)