Nepal quake: Hundreds dead, history crumbles, Everest shaken

(Yahoo! News)


Nepal earthquake: Hundreds dead, history crumbles, Mt. Everest shaken = Seems the Earth's ornery plaques stirred 'n' buckled, Kathmandu heaved

(by Jason Lofts)

Gallipoli centenary: Australia and New Zealand mark Anzac Day

(BBC)

Photo: Britrob

“Heroes who shed their blood
and lost their lives...
You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country.
Therefore rest in peace.
There is no difference between the Johnnies
and Mehmets to us where they lie side by side
here in this country of ours...
You, the mothers,
who sent their sons from far away countries
wipe away your tears;
your sons are now lying in our bosom
and are in peace.
After having lost their lives on this land they have
become our sons as well.”
-Ghazi Mustafa Kemal Ataturk
=
With this reconciliatory tribute, the first Turkish President - he himself a victorious Gallipoli veteran - honoured those brave ANZAC soldiers whose fate was to be ingloriously killed on the narrow mountainous peninsula where they suffered intensely one hundred years ago this year. Eyewitnesses say as many were victims of enteric dysentery as were shot or bayoneted here by their “unholy heathen” foe. Amen.
-Jason Lofts (in honour of our grandfather, who somehow came home)

(by Jason Lofts)

Ten tonne fatberg cleared from sewer in Chelsea

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Rene Walter

Ten tonne fatberg cleared from sewer in Chelsea = One recent firm ball of entrenched waste/grease

(by Jason Lofts)

Chinese researchers have genetically modified a human embryo

(Quartz)


Chinese research scientists have genetically modified a human embryo = Very scary fiendish scheme! Unethical Asian biomedics alter the genome

(by Jason Lofts)

Cher, Kim Kardashian and Andre Agassi: Armenia's A-list diaspora

(The Guardian)

Armenian diaspora

Map: Wikimedia

Armenia’s A-List Diaspora
1. The singer contralto Cher (nee Bono)
2. Kimberly Kardashian West
3. The motion capture expert Andy Serkis
4. Frenchman Alain Prost
5. Andre Agassi
6. Frenchman chanteur Charles Aznavour
7. Entrepreneur David Dickinson
=
1. She’s a thin actress, record producer
2. Sex tapes, innuendos, then stunt with porn, reality TV star, married Kanye
3. He's King Kong, ape Caesar
4. Formula One champion driver
5. Bald American tennis ace
6. Harmonizer a la Frank Sinatra
7. Born in Cheadle

(by Julian Lofts)

Activist abandons Earth Day swim in polluted New York City canal

(Reuters)

Photo: Sam Saunders

Christopher Swain's swim in Brooklyn's Gowanus Canal = Brownish swill or man's ashcans poisoning water. Yuck!

(by Rosie Perera)

New Zealand PM John Key apologises for tugging waitress's ponytail

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: nznationalparty

The New Zealand Prime Minister John Key apologises for tugging a waitress's ponytail = Men joking? I guess not! Fears grew - what a slimy, senile, sleazy, inappropriate thing to do!

(by Julian Lofts)

Chelsea Handler Shows Off Her 'Harry' Bottoms with Harry Styles

(People)

Photo: Chelsea Handler/Instagram

Comedian Chelsea Handler = A slender comic had élan, eh!

(by Julian Lofts)

Grandmaster Nigel Short: 'Girls don't have the brains to play chess'

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Andreas Kontokanis

UK's chess grandmaster Nigel Short = "Girls aren't strong". He's mad! He sucks!

(by Julian Lofts)

With 1 male left worldwide, northern white rhinos under guard day and night

(CNN)

Photo: Tambako The Jaguar

White rhino = i.e. with horn

(by Jason Lofts)

New nation of Liberland 7sq km

(The New Zealand Herald)

Image: Wikimedia

And oft intolerable when in ~ the new nation of Liberland

(by Julian Lofts)

This Trend Could Spell Trouble Ahead for Smith & Wesson and Ruger

(The Motley Fool)

Photo: Lyle

Smith & Wesson and Ruger = We do the guns 'n' arms, sir

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The rise of the vegans

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Emilie Hardman

The rise of the vegans = Ah, hot, festive Greens

(by Robert Jordan)

Gisele Bundchen retires from the runway

(USA Today)

Photo: Gabriel Marchi

Gisele Caroline Bundchen = A cherubic legend's online

(by Julian Lofts)

Germany's Guenter Grass, author of 'The Tin Drum,' dies at 87

(Reuters)

Portrait: Arturo Espinosa

The German novelist, poet, playwright, sculptor and social critic Guenter Grass has died = A sprightly socialist goes to a dour grave. A tin drum clangs in respect. The children wept.

(by Julian Lofts)

Fashion: Man about town

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Christian Leitner

Fashion: Man about town = So naif, but ah, not woman

(by Robert Jordan)

Woman Stabs Roommate for Refusing to Stop Listening to The Eagles

(Gawker)


South Carolina Woman Stabs Roommate for Refusing to Stop Listening to The Eagles = Wisest statement of gal: "'Hotel California'? Too gross! Shut up or I'm gonna be a monster."

(by Rosie Perera)

Who Is Running for President (and Who's Not)?

(The New York Times)


USA presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton = Rand Paul's chief ploy is "I'll rule the nation!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Book review: The Broken Road: From the Iron Gates to Mount Athos, by Patrick Leigh Fermor

(TeleRead)


"The Broken Road: From the Iron Gates to Mount Athos" by Patrick Leigh Fermor = Teen trekker's romp: A most forthright boy, he marched on foot into Bulgaria

(by Jason Lofts)

Are human head transplants coming soon?

(CNN)

Photo: Nata Luna Sans

Are human head transplants coming soon? = Ah, no! Gasp! Can result in a monster. Oh, damn!

(by Rosie Perera)