Vladimir Putin creates 'military Disneyland' where youngsters can ride tanks, play with grenade launchers and eat army rations = Russians' tyrannical leader (intimidating guy) has invented scary theme park: Children emulate soldiers at war and try weaponry
Spanish bullfighter gored in groin leaving testicle 'eviscerated' at San Isidro festival in Madrid = Agile steer charged matador, intent on piercing his balls. Idiot fell, is given first aid and survives
Obama approves sending up to four hundred and fifty more US troops to Iraq = President's for moving a thousand equipped army troops out abroad for fun.
Christopher Lee, horror master and renowned film villain, dies at ninety three = In his prime, and when elderly, rave actor instilled terror into hearts of men, eh?