Lord Sewel quits after he is caught snorting cocaine with two prostitutes

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: The Sun

Lord Sewel = Lewd loser

(by Jason Lofts)

English lord in sordid sex scandal

(The New Zealand Herald)

"The actions of a few damage our reputation," wrote Lord Sewel. "Scandals make good headlines." = 'Esteemed' peer flaunted law snorting coke with whores. A salacious oaf, a moron, addled goat!

(by Julian Lofts)

On-the-run vicar still at large

(BT)

Photo: ITV

On-the-run vicar still at large = Lag to unchristian traveller

(by Robert Jordan)

David Cameron pledges to save Britain's public loos

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Joel Telling

David Cameron pledges to save Britain's public loos = O! It's a bravo over PM's 'Gents and Ladies Occupied Bill'!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Spelman College discontinues professorship funded by Cosbys

(CNN)

Photo: PROTed Eytan

The William and Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Endowed Professorship at Spelman College = Cancelled, as black donor is an evil lying male rapist: doom himself. We oppose his wealth.

(by Rosie Perera)

Furry Friday: Dogs in their element

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Wikimedia

Dogs in their element ~ let go dinnertimes, eh?

(by Robert Jordan)

Drone operators must obtain flying permits under new rules

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Ars Electronica

Drone operators ~ or neo-predators

(by Julian Lofts)

Bill Cosby's 1970s anti-drug album for kids: "Say no to pills"

(Washington Post)

"Hi, this is Bill Cosby. I'd like you to pay close attention to this album because it's very important. We're going to talk about amphetamines, cocaine, depressants, barbiturates, opiates, alcohol, tobacco, hallucinogens." - Introduction to the album "Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs," that won him a Grammy for Best Recording for Children. = This mad old black US comedian's got to admit it - he's a most blatant, brutish, incorrigible rapist!^^A classic short instruction manual:^^A. Take out a nubile, bosomy young babe to the Playboy Mansion^B. Give two or three prescribed pills to her to chill out^C. Take off all the babe's clothes^D. Stick your todger (penis) in, rut away, come incognito ...

(by Jason Lofts)

Online sperm buying proves to be a big hit in China

(The Times of India)

Photo: Colville-Andersen

Online sperm buying proves to be a big hit in China = Her big linchpin be obtaining your semen via post

(by Mark McNamara)

US Novelist E.L. Doctorow dies at 84

(BBC)

Art: Arturo Espinosa

The US novelist Edgar Lawrence Doctorow has died = Death hit aged world-renowned creative colossus

(by Julian Lofts)

Stephen Hawking backs new initiative to find life beyond Earth

(MSNBC)

Photo: MIKI Yoshihito

Stephen Hawking backs new initiative to find life beyond Earth = I ask: Whatever kind, we can't be alone in the big depths of infinity?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cuba Reopens US Embassy After Five Decades

(Yahoo! News)

Cuba Reopens US Embassy After Five Decades = Act's sure paved, because "foes may be friends".

(by Maurice Goddard)

Infidelity site Ashley Madison hacked as attackers demand total shutdown

(The Guardian)

Illustration: Eric Almendral

Notorious infidelity sites Ashley Madison, Cougar Life and Established Men are hacked = A sinister foe is leaking raunchy details of shady men, lies, deceit and houris too - bedlam!

(by Julian Lofts)

Shark attacks Australian surfer Mick Fanning during live competition

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Rian Castillo

The Australian surfer Mick Fanning = Fin, attack, rush, run. Man regains life! ^

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hackers threaten to release names from adultery website

(CNN)

Photo: Pascal

Hackers threaten to release names from adultery website = See wife make error, cheat on husband, later...steamy letters.

(by Rosie Perera)

Donald promises America a new 'do' if it makes him president: Trump reveals he will ditch his infamous hair style in the White House - because comb-over takes too much time to maintain

(Daily Mail)

Image: Miles Gehm

Donald Trump, the American business magnate, investor, television personality, and author = Vain old man in outlandish overtly straightened toupee in POTUS race is an embarrassment

(by Jason Lofts)

Greece crisis: No mercy for Greece in Angela Merkel's Europe

(CBC)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Germany's Angela Dorothea Merkel = Some or all Greek men angry at head

(by Adie Pena)

Study predicts future of asteroid mining

(Los Angeles Times)

Image: Dan Browne

Asteroid mining = I dream in ingots

(by Julian Lofts)

Donald Trump Says He Does Not Owe John McCain Apology

(ABC News)

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump = Unpopular partisan derided and belittled McCain

(by Adie Pena)

The Queen's 'Nazi Salute' film leak triggers Royal inquiry

(The Independent)

The Queen's 'Nazi Salute' = The Sun antique sleaze

(by Robert Jordan)