Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire

(NBC News)

Illustration: Chris Piascik

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire = She sneers... "Him? Worst vain small-minded Republican Party loon who insults!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Jeffrey Beall

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead = "Stop that!" UT's officer defends and insists that we use this odd invention (zany gender-neutral/sexless syntax)

(by Jason Lofts)

Clinton on Emails: "I Am Sorry That This Has Been Confusing to People"

(New York Magazine)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

"At the end of the day, I am sorry that this has been^confusing to people and has raised a lot of questions, but there are answers to all these questions," she says = Clinton has used her personal email for business. She has been quoted as saying that's not professional. Yet that year, quite thwarted, she shoots to a defeat.

(by Julian Lofts)

Beards to blame for falling male skincare sales

(The Independent)

Photo: Vít Hassan

Beards to blame for falling male skincare sales = See! Manlike trend all babes fall for as orgasmic?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Migrant crisis: Drowned boy's father speaks of heartbreak

(BBC)

I read the most awful report on the news tonight:
"My children were the most beautiful children in the world. Is there anybody in the world for whom their child is not the most precious thing?" Mr Kurdi said.^"My kids were amazing. They woke me every day to play with me. What is more beautiful than this? Everything is gone.
"I would love to sit next to the grave of my family now and relieve the pain I feel," he said. = Twelve Syrians, fleeing bloodthirsty harm in the town of Kobane, drowned indiscriminately in the sea off Turkey when their vessel capsized. It is horrific. Why did three year old Alan, Ghalib (five) and their mum die? Why? My heart goes out to them. Enraged, I wept ashamedly. I wonder "I'm a wimp?" Every country in the world ought to rethink, to stem the flow, then must help to give exiles a home without turmoil.

(by Julian Lofts)

Self-help author Wayne Dyer dies at 75

(Fox News)

Photo: Marti Wukelic

Self-help author Wayne Dyer has died = Ha! He was truly derided. False! Phoney!

(by Julian Lofrs)

Did you hear what Canada's defense minister said about Scott Walker?

(Citizen Action of Wisconsin)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Did you hear what Canada's defense minister said about Scott Walker? =^He said, "Wait, look, I want that border fence!" And adds, "As, it may secure us!"

(by Dharam)

Petition Launched Against "Transphobic" Caitlyn Jenner Halloween Costume

(The Hollywood Reporter)

Photo: Anytime Costumes

Unisex "Call Me Caitlyn" Halloween costume = Excellent - a simultaneous (wo)manly cliché!

(by Jason Lofts)

Natalia Strelchenko: World-renowned concert pianist found murdered in Britain

(ABC News)

Natalia Strelchenko: Renowned concert pianist is found murdered in Britain = Didn't husband kill career entertainer in untoward crime of passion? Not nice!

(by Jason Lofts)

There's Now A "Cecil The Lion Killer Dentist" Costume Equipped With Blood And A Severed Lion Head

(BroBible)

There's now a "Cecil the Lion Killer Dentist" costume equipped with blood and a severed lion head = This quite novel Halloween tunic dedicated to Walter Palmer indeed shocks beholders, I opine

(by Jason Lofts)

UK sperm bank has just nine registered donors, boss reveals

(The Guardian)

Photo: Stéphane Moussie

UK sperm bank has just nine registered donors = No business at hand, men skirted jerker's group

(by Mark McNamara)

New Zealand: Rare birds shot as cull goes wrong

(BBC)

Photo: Harald Selke

Rare bird shot = This bad error

(by Julian Lofts)

Ashley Madison sued in US court over data breach

(The Irish Independent)

Photo: Pascal

Ashley Madison gets sued in US court over data breach = Adultery site uncovered America's husbands - has to go!

(by Jason Lofts)

Mexicans bash Trump piñata, call him imbecile

(Reuters)

Photo: Mike Licht

The Trump piñata = A patent triumph = A parent: “Thump it!”

(by Julian Lofts)

Eurostar Train Delayed By 'Migrants In Tunnel'

(Sky News)

Photo: UNKIEPAUL / Paul Johnston

Eurostar Train Delayed By 'Migrants In Tunnel' = Brutally uneasy, daring, stern determination.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Migrant deaths on land and at sea strengthen calls for change in Europe

(Washington Post)

Migrant smugglers = Man’s grim struggle

(by Julian Lofts)

America's first two female Rangers complete their training

(The Daily Telegraph)

First females complete the demanding US Rangers course = A triumph of endurance, fitness, etc. A gross smell emerged.

(by Julian Lofts)

Ashley Madison: What's in the leaked accounts data dump?

(BBC)

Photo: The LAMP

Ashley Madison leaked accounts information = And makes mention of his occasional adultery

(by Jason Lofts)

Beheaded Syrian scholar refused to lead Isis to hidden Palmyra antiquities

(The Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

The Syrian antiquities scholar = Anti-Christians slay quiet hero

(by Julian Lofts)

Donald Trump feuds with Univision's Jorge Ramos

(CBS News)

Photo: NASA

Univision's Jorge Ramos = Vamoosing? Rejoin us, sir!

(by Julian Lofts)