Twin rapist caught without DNA

(USA Today)

Photo: Actu Secours

Twin rapist caught without DNA, then confesses. Brother freed. = Wow! French cops hunt, detain nastiest thug, deter his bro after.

(by Russ Atkinson)

Phallic-shaped church to get fig leaf

(Daily Kos)

Photo: Google Maps

Phallic-shaped church to get fig leaf = Cap off chapel's glitch (hide laughter!)

(by Dharam)

Huge, newly discovered monument dwarfs nearby Stonehenge

(CNet)

Huge, newly discovered monument dwarfs nearby Stonehenge = Announced mystery weaves wonder fun here! The mind boggles!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain's greatest monarch, according to poll

(The Independent)

Photo: Number 10

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain's greatest monarch, according to poll = Epic acclaim! Or sitting longest on a sizable throne required habit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin would be welcome in a Trump administration, the billionaire says

(Washington Post)

Photo: Andrew Dallos

Sarah Palin would be welcome in a Trump administration, the billionaire says = O! Man! A sullen, horrid idea! Two similar Tea Party bullshit-apes combine in a win?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pillow fight at West Point leads to 24 concussions

(CBC)

The annual West Point military academy pillow fight = Thump! Yowl! Wept. Infantile hostility, cranial damage.

(by Julian Lofts)

What the Image of Aylan Kurdi Says About the Power of Photography

(Time)

Photo: Defend International

The photos of Aylan Kurdi = Oh, pathos of lad in Turkey

(by Jason Lofts)

Migrant crisis: The long walk out of Hungary

(BBC)

Photo: nternational Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies

Migrant crisis: The long walk out of Hungary = Tragic story: Trek following human anguish.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Smart reveals the new Fortwo Cabrio

(BBC)

Photo: My Car is Smart

Smart Fortwo Cabrio = Worst motorcar - a fib!

(by Julian Lofts)

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire

(NBC News)

Illustration: Chris Piascik

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire = She sneers... "Him? Worst vain small-minded Republican Party loon who insults!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Jeffrey Beall

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead = "Stop that!" UT's officer defends and insists that we use this odd invention (zany gender-neutral/sexless syntax)

(by Jason Lofts)

Clinton on Emails: "I Am Sorry That This Has Been Confusing to People"

(New York Magazine)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

"At the end of the day, I am sorry that this has been^confusing to people and has raised a lot of questions, but there are answers to all these questions," she says = Clinton has used her personal email for business. She has been quoted as saying that's not professional. Yet that year, quite thwarted, she shoots to a defeat.

(by Julian Lofts)

Beards to blame for falling male skincare sales

(The Independent)

Photo: Vít Hassan

Beards to blame for falling male skincare sales = See! Manlike trend all babes fall for as orgasmic?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Migrant crisis: Drowned boy's father speaks of heartbreak

(BBC)

I read the most awful report on the news tonight:
"My children were the most beautiful children in the world. Is there anybody in the world for whom their child is not the most precious thing?" Mr Kurdi said.^"My kids were amazing. They woke me every day to play with me. What is more beautiful than this? Everything is gone.
"I would love to sit next to the grave of my family now and relieve the pain I feel," he said. = Twelve Syrians, fleeing bloodthirsty harm in the town of Kobane, drowned indiscriminately in the sea off Turkey when their vessel capsized. It is horrific. Why did three year old Alan, Ghalib (five) and their mum die? Why? My heart goes out to them. Enraged, I wept ashamedly. I wonder "I'm a wimp?" Every country in the world ought to rethink, to stem the flow, then must help to give exiles a home without turmoil.

(by Julian Lofts)

Self-help author Wayne Dyer dies at 75

(Fox News)

Photo: Marti Wukelic

Self-help author Wayne Dyer has died = Ha! He was truly derided. False! Phoney!

(by Julian Lofrs)

Did you hear what Canada's defense minister said about Scott Walker?

(Citizen Action of Wisconsin)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Did you hear what Canada's defense minister said about Scott Walker? =^He said, "Wait, look, I want that border fence!" And adds, "As, it may secure us!"

(by Dharam)

Petition Launched Against "Transphobic" Caitlyn Jenner Halloween Costume

(The Hollywood Reporter)

Photo: Anytime Costumes

Unisex "Call Me Caitlyn" Halloween costume = Excellent - a simultaneous (wo)manly cliché!

(by Jason Lofts)

Natalia Strelchenko: World-renowned concert pianist found murdered in Britain

(ABC News)

Natalia Strelchenko: Renowned concert pianist is found murdered in Britain = Didn't husband kill career entertainer in untoward crime of passion? Not nice!

(by Jason Lofts)

There's Now A "Cecil The Lion Killer Dentist" Costume Equipped With Blood And A Severed Lion Head

(BroBible)

There's now a "Cecil the Lion Killer Dentist" costume equipped with blood and a severed lion head = This quite novel Halloween tunic dedicated to Walter Palmer indeed shocks beholders, I opine

(by Jason Lofts)

UK sperm bank has just nine registered donors, boss reveals

(The Guardian)

Photo: Stéphane Moussie

UK sperm bank has just nine registered donors = No business at hand, men skirted jerker's group

(by Mark McNamara)