Woman discovers 'boyfriend' of two years is woman when she removes blindfold during sex

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Katie Tegtmeyer

Woman has blindfolded sex with 'male cancer patient ashamed of scars' - before discovering it is female friend using prosthetic penis, court hears = Oh, we consider anecdote is farcical. She must be a cretin - her girlfriend with false stiff organ's supposed to have impersonated man's climax in bed!

(by Jason Lofts)

The Good Oil

(Turners)

Photo: Martin Cooper

The good oil = Ooh, to glide

(by Robert Jordan)

Andrew Garfield says Donald Trump is 'a lost soul wandering this Earth'

(The Week)

Photo: Miles Gehm

Andrew Garfield says Donald Trump is 'a lost soul wandering this Earth' = A diseased power-hungry fat gas-nut rolls in dollars and dreams with it!

(by Maurice Goddard)

23 Ridiculously Offensive Donald Trump Quotes

(InsideGov)

Photo: Elvert Barnes

"I will build a great wall -- and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me -- and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
=
Exuberant, wily madman Donald Trump risibly babbled he will underwrite and oversee the hurried erection of an almighty bulwark as a vivid symbol to expel all dirty illegal immigrants. We'll kowtow and bellow "Alleluia!"
=
Well I never!

Always verbally extreme like a loud-mouthed twit,
We've an extremely arrogant madder babbling nit.
A rude-to-all monkey, billionaire Donald Trump chills,
Raw foul windbag wipes his bum daily with dollar bills!

(by Jason Lofts, Maurice Goddard)

J.K. Rowling says you've been pronouncing 'Voldemort' wrong

(CNN)

Photo: Devon Steven

J.K. Rowling says you've been pronouncing 'Voldemort' wrong = Grown-up bookworms enjoy a nice 'T' during very long novels

(by Dharam)

More Cuban Migrants Crossing to US by Sea

(Time)

Photo: US Coast Guard

More Cuban Migrants Crossing to US by Sea = Boats bring US near. Masses coming cry out!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Clever Cat Answers Ringing Telephone

(Huffington Post)

Clever cat answers ringing telephone = In went one pet reversing call charges!

(by Robert Jordan)

Donald Trump Insults Carly Fiorin's Looks, Underscores Gross Attitude Toward Women

(New York Magazine)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Donald Trump insults Carly Fiorina's looks, underscores gross attitude toward women = Crass gratuitous slur from old monkey (world's worst US presidential candidate). Not on!

(by Jason Lofts)

New algorithm identifies hidden porn websites

(The Times of India)

Photo: Phil Rogers

New algorithm identifies hidden porno websites = Desires find home with web design interpolation

(by Mark McNamara)

Twin rapist caught without DNA

(USA Today)

Photo: Actu Secours

Twin rapist caught without DNA, then confesses. Brother freed. = Wow! French cops hunt, detain nastiest thug, deter his bro after.

(by Russ Atkinson)

Phallic-shaped church to get fig leaf

(Daily Kos)

Photo: Google Maps

Phallic-shaped church to get fig leaf = Cap off chapel's glitch (hide laughter!)

(by Dharam)

Huge, newly discovered monument dwarfs nearby Stonehenge

(CNet)

Huge, newly discovered monument dwarfs nearby Stonehenge = Announced mystery weaves wonder fun here! The mind boggles!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain's greatest monarch, according to poll

(The Independent)

Photo: Number 10

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain's greatest monarch, according to poll = Epic acclaim! Or sitting longest on a sizable throne required habit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin would be welcome in a Trump administration, the billionaire says

(Washington Post)

Photo: Andrew Dallos

Sarah Palin would be welcome in a Trump administration, the billionaire says = O! Man! A sullen, horrid idea! Two similar Tea Party bullshit-apes combine in a win?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pillow fight at West Point leads to 24 concussions

(CBC)

The annual West Point military academy pillow fight = Thump! Yowl! Wept. Infantile hostility, cranial damage.

(by Julian Lofts)

What the Image of Aylan Kurdi Says About the Power of Photography

(Time)

Photo: Defend International

The photos of Aylan Kurdi = Oh, pathos of lad in Turkey

(by Jason Lofts)

Migrant crisis: The long walk out of Hungary

(BBC)

Photo: nternational Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies

Migrant crisis: The long walk out of Hungary = Tragic story: Trek following human anguish.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Smart reveals the new Fortwo Cabrio

(BBC)

Photo: My Car is Smart

Smart Fortwo Cabrio = Worst motorcar - a fib!

(by Julian Lofts)

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire

(NBC News)

Illustration: Chris Piascik

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire = She sneers... "Him? Worst vain small-minded Republican Party loon who insults!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Jeffrey Beall

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead = "Stop that!" UT's officer defends and insists that we use this odd invention (zany gender-neutral/sexless syntax)

(by Jason Lofts)