Bill Clinton blames Republicans, media for extending wife Hillary's email controversy = Bill hears, resentful malice brews in GOP men's infernally dirty diabolical toxic venom!
Warning: Millions of super-quick Giant House Spiders on rampage across Britain = Prolific monsters require traps, as running wild amok causes agonising phobia!
Duchess of Cambridge is effortlessly elegant as she visits women's prison = I guess former Catherine Middleton's a classy show-off? VIP's bliss gets seen!
Europe's migration crisis: how many people are on the move? = Hi! One hopeless wearisome aim counting every poor tramp! = Oh! Hopeless to count! Imagery is; more 'n' more appear in view!
Donald Trump fails to challenge claim that America should 'get rid' of Muslims = Ha! Putrid, loathsome, small-minded, frightful egomaniac, merits loud catcalls!