North Korean men ordered to copy Kim Jong-un's haircut

(News.com.au)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

North Korean men ordered to copy Kim Jong-un's haircut = Oh! Commie hairdo-tyrant, rodent or creep; Skunk Jong-un!

(by Maurice Goddard)

"Mama Says That Santa Claus Does Not Come to Poor People"

(The New York Times)

Photo: Evan Long

"Mama Says That Santa Claus Does Not Come to Poor People" = Sad post appeal to Santa to come also touches many more

(by Maurice Goddard)

Yoga class banned over 'cultural appropriation' in Canada

(The Times of India)

Illustration: telly gacitua

Yoga class banned over 'cultural appropriation' in Canada = Political propaganda drove a country 'bananas' is unclear!

(by Mark McNamara)

Amid Global Travel Alert: Is Anywhere Safe for Tourists?

(Yahoo!)

Photo: disparkys

Amid Global Travel Alert: Is Anywhere Safe for Tourists? = Nowhere really? I'd urge a blast-off travel to Mars, as it is!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Donald Trump says he'd bring back waterboarding

(Daily Witness)

Photo: Michael Vadon

Donald Trump says he would approve waterboarding "in a heartbeat" = What?? But only torture Arab people who disdain depraved anagrams!

(by Julian Lofts)

'Star Wars' tickets go on sale early

(The Evening Sun)

'Star Wars' tickets go on sale early on Fandango = 'Awakens' alien story fans to react or snag gold

(by Russ Atkinson)

Donald Trump: `I want surveillance of these people that are coming in'

(MSNBC)

Illustration: Chris Piascik

Donald Trump on Syrian refugees: "I want to surveil. I want surveillance of these people that are coming in. The Trojan horse. I want know who the hell they are."=Hallelujah, Lord! Future president's making a vow how he will invigilate/wiretap anyone he suspects of treason no matter whether they are innocent or not.

(by Jason Lofts)

Cheating accusations mar Zimbabwe's 'Mister Ugly' contest

(The Times of India)

Cheating accusations mar Zimbabwe's 'Mister Ugly' contest = Gamble with baits cost success in crazy image tournament

(by Mark McNamara)

RAF search after 'Russian submarine spotted off Scotland'

(BBC)

Photo: Defence Images

RAF search after Russian submarine is spotted off Scotland = Aircraft after Putin's u-boat - she's crossed seas from Finland

(by Jason Lofts)

Ben Carson The Paradox: A respected surgeon now in search of presidency, baffling science-minded Americans

(MedCityNews)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

The retired pediatric neurosurgeon Ben S. Carson = Here is a career doctor running to be US president

(by Jason Lofts)

Mindless terrorists? The truth about Isis is much worse

(The Guardian)

Photo: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann

Mindless terrorists? The truth about Isis is much worse = Monstrous schemers thirst with desirous brutalities!

(by Maurice Goddard)

ISIS vs. ISIL vs. Daesh vs. Islamic State, Explained

(Ventures)

Map: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria militant group = Quite a strident hairy fanatical Islamist pogrom

(by Jason Lofts)

ISIL, ISIS, Islamic State, Daesh: What's The Difference?

(The International Business Times)

Photo: Wikimedia

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria militant group = Martyrs in a quest - aiming for a caliphate, it is told = Diagnosis: A caliphate for quite militant martyrs

(by Jason Lofts)

Scientists discover why some people cannot 'hold their drink'

(The Independent)

Photo: wackystuff

Scientists discover why some people cannot 'hold their drink' = Too many pints recorded - evidence which "kills" sottish person

(by Mark McNamara)

"It's a hard three letters to absorb" - Actor Charlie Sheen reveals he is HIV-positive

(Newstalk)

Photo: Roberto Rizzato

"It's a hard three letters to absorb," says Charlie Sheen = Brash horny actor slates/hates the terrible disease

(by Julian Lofts)

Bombshell perfume good for repelling mosquitoes

(MSN)

Bombshell perfume good for repelling mosquitoes = Hope in bordello: Gross femme smell quite bugproof

(by Russ Atkinson)

Disbelief, panic as Paris struck a second time

(Yahoo!)

Photo: The Apex Archive

Disbelief, panic as Paris struck a second time = France's despair: attack 'n' suicide? Impossible!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

How many people actually saw Donald Trump's bizarre Iowa speech, anyway?

(Washington Post)

Photo: Tara Gamby

How many people actually saw Donald Trump's bizarre Iowa speech, anyway? = Blimey! Many saw a crazy wound up ape prattle away on his codswallop here!

(by Maurice Goddard)

How Paris ISIS Terrorists May Have Used PlayStation 4 To Discuss And Plan Attacks

(Forbes)

Photo: Domenico

Paris terrorists may have used PlayStation = Visual toy assisted martyrs' preparation, eh?

(by Jason Lofts)

Who Is Ismael Omar Mostefai, One Of The Paris Suicide Bombers?

(Bustle)

Ismael Omar Mostefai = I immolate - fame soars

(by Julian Lofts)