Revealed: Bieber's mystery 17-year-old Instagram girl is a £3-an-hour babysitter who breached by-law for drinking in street

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Instagram

Spanish teenaged babysitter Cindy Kimberly = Bieber enchanted by a mystery kid's giant lips

(by Jason Lofts)

Cheetah a late arrival in Africa

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Tambako The Jaguar

Cheetahs are said to originate from North America = So the cats migrated to a home here in Africa or Iran

(by Julian Lofts)

'Chapo' Guzmán threatens war on ISIS after terrorists destroy drug shipment

(Fox News)

Photo: Day Donaldson

'Chapo' Guzmán threatens war on ISIS after terrorists destroy drugs shipment = The answer from the grand narco suzerain to this martyr group is: "Desist, pests!"

(by Jason Lofts)

There is no internet censorship in China, says China's top censor

(Hong Kong Free Press)

Photo: Lisa Williams

There is no internet censorship in China says a top censor = Chinese are not intent on repression? Shh! It's a conspiracy.

(by Julian Lofts)

Islamophobia and Donald Trump Are No Laughing Matter

(Huffington Post)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Donald Trump is no longer a laughing matter = Dump that illegal, dangerous, ranting moron!

(by Jason Lofts)

Donald Trump blasts 'ungrateful' Scots politicians

(Financial Times)

Photo: Peter Stevens

Donald Trump blasts 'ungrateful' Scots politicians = Scotland dumps 'bigot' for an insult. Racist all upset!

(by Jason Lofts)

Witnesses Thought Art Basel Stabbing Was Performance Art

(Huh Magazine)

Photo: Achim Hepp

Art Basel = Real stab

(by Jason Lofts)

Josh Earnest: Trump’s Toxic Rhetoric Is Disqualifying

(Bloomberg)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Toxic rhetoric = Rich, exotic rot!

(by Julian Lofts)

British, French leaders join world condemnation of Trump's proposed ban on Muslims entering US

(Washington Post)

Photo: cool revolution

British, French leaders join world condemnation of Trump's proposed ban on Muslims entering US

=

One loon off his chump? Sneering snarler's Mr Trump! Bad-worst noisiest loon I'd bin, reject, and dump!

(by Maurice Goddard)

First US penis transplants planned to help wounded vets

(CBS News)

Photo: thinkpanama

First US penis transplants planned to help wounded vets = Vet's new donor phallus stands up in resplendent fat tips!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Selena Gomez Flaunts Sexy Lingerie In New Music Video

(Hollywood Life)

Selena Gomez flaunts sexy lingerie in new music video = Come view singer - is one stunningly sexualized female!

(by Jason Lofts)

The US Army certifies its first woman combat engineer

(Christian Science Monitor)

Photo: AP

The US Army certifies its first woman combat engineer = Or, GIs eye sweet firm bust, feminine charms & attraction!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Chocolate Putin in Russia

(Baltimore Sun)

Put cochineal into ~ Putin in chocolate

(by Julian Lofts)

Bud Weisser, 19, accused of trespassing at Budweiser brewery

(Fox8)

Photo: Jarod Carruthers

Bud Weisser accused of trespassing at Budweiser brewery=Trespasser defies guard by curbside, "'Cause, we own its brew!"

(by Dharam)

Oscar Pistorius convicted of murder as appeals court overturns earlier conviction

(CNN)

Photo: Global Panorama

Amputee athlete Oscar Leonard Carl Pistorius = A "toilet murderer" has lost case in appeal court

(by Jason Lofts)

Which Bond film is best? The definitive 007 film ranking - from awful to awesome

(Digital Spy)

Photo: Dan Zen

A Long List of All of The James Bond Movies Permutated Into Actors and Their Parts, Filmmakers and Other References 1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2. Casino Royale 3. From Russia With Love 4. Goldfinger 5. GoldenEye 6. The Spy Who Loved Me 7. Skyfall 8. Dr No 9. Live And Let Die 10. The Living Daylights 11. Spectre 12. Licence to Kill 13. You Only Live Twice 14. For your Eyes Only 15. Thunderball 16. Moonraker 17. Tomorrow Never Dies 18. The Man With the Golden Gun 19. Quantum of Solace 20. The World Is Not Enough 21. Octopussy 22. A View To A Kill 23. Diamonds Are Forever 24. Die Another Day

=

1. Diana Rigg 2. Tumescent Daniel Craig, talented Eva Green, Le Chiffre 3. The Lektor device, stuntmen 4. We liked the feisty Ms Pussy Galore 5. Colonel Ourumov 6. Toothy Jaws (Richard Kiel) 7. Foe Javier Bardem stood out. Severine 8. Tanned Ursula Andress 9. Solitaire 10. Timothy Dalton 11. Weedy Whishaw's the new 'Q' 12. The smooth Pierce Brosnan 13. (Fifth Sean Connery film). Dikko Henderson 14. 'M' 15. Fiona Volpe 16. Holly Goodhead 17. Elliot Carver 18. Roger Moore 19. Elvis 20. Dr Molly Warmflash 21. General Orlov 22. Silicon Valley 23. Plenty O'Toole 24. Counterspy Frost. Outdated misogyny.

(by Julian Lofts)

Notable Quotes from Oscar Pistorius judgment

(Times Live)

"This case involves a human tragedy of Shakespearean proportions: a young man overcomes huge physical disabilities to reach Olympian heights as an athlete; in doing so he becomes an international celebrity; he meets a young woman of great natural beauty and a successful model; romance blossoms; and then, ironically on Valentine's Day, all is destroyed when he takes her life." = Synonymous for the sensational murder story of the South African Paralympian Oscar Pistorius, an obsessed, testy macho ape who deliberately shot and killed his glamorous blonde fiancee Reeva Steenkamp at home one evening. Alas, she dies in agony. He claimed he thought it was someone (a burglar?) concealed in the lavatory. In essence, a chillingly nauseating act by an evil man.

"The accused's conviction and sentence on count 1 are set aside and replaced with the following: 'Guilty of murder with the accused having had criminal intent in the form of dolus eventualis'" = News: The South African court's now convinced Oscar Pistorius' evidence was untruthful and invented. The cold athlete gloatingly eliminated his graceful fiancee. I'd condemn him to death!

(by Jason Lofts)

Does toast REALLY land butter-side down? See mini scientists bust popular myth

(The Daily Mirror)

Food science: Does toast REALLY land butter-side down? = No, not as oft. See, we did a controlled bread slice study

(by Jason Lofts)

Pencil shortage rocks japan's anime sector

(MSN)

Photo: Kristen McQuillin

Pencil shortage rocks japan's anime sector ~ concerns graphic kanji set; some are postal.

(by Russ Atkinson)

Clean energy technologies

(E15 Initiative)

Photo: Håkan Dahlström

Clean energy technologies = Selecting "green". Hey, no coal!

(by Julian Lofts)