A modest approach to settling the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

(Washington Post)

Photo: Yossi Gurvitz

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict = If no alliance, the split is certain

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sanders Apologizes to Hillary over data breach

(ABC News)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Sanders Apologizes to Hillary over data breach = Oh, the poor, crazy liberal's raids lose advantage

(by Russ Atkinson)

Prince Ali demands FIFA 'join 21st century'

(Channel NewsAsia)

Photo: Doha Stadium Plus Qatar

FIFA presidential hopeful Prince Ali Bin Al Hussein = The Arab is in line-up as fill-in for unideal chief Sepp

(by Jason Lofts)

Does going into hospital make you sick?

(BBC)

Photo: Abel Pardo López

Post-hospital syndrome = Sloppy NHS^* readmits too
*National Health Service (UK)

(by Julian Lofts)

Melissa Rivers Portrays Late Mom Joan Rivers in Joy

(US Magazine)

Photo: Mainstream

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." - The late Joan Rivers = An original joke how she didn't want to confront her transvestite man inside in nothing but her crimson mesh tights

(by Jason Lofts)

And a Partridge in a Cramped Cage ...

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Karunakar Rayker

Gad! Maid a dancing, pear tree crap ~ and a partridge in a cramped cage

(by Robert Jordan)

Are plus-size models making our women obese?

(Fox News)

Photo: vangelisian

Are plus-size models making our women obese? = Unlike some, gals desire no wee bazooms, rump

(by Russ Atkinson)

Trump is still on top

(CBS News)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Trump is still on top ~ most support in till

(by Russ Atkinson)

Chinese buy up bottles of fresh air from Canada

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Vitality Air

Vitality Air = A triviality

(by Julian Lofts)

Disgruntled Siberian city wants cat for mayor

(The Guardian)

Disgruntled Siberian city wants cat for mayor = Crowd bay! May grant Russian district to feline

(by Mark McNamara)

Trump's Muslim ban would be illegal and unconstitutional, claim experts

(The Daily Express)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

The American business mogul Donald Trump = Plutocrat demands ban on Muslims. Huge ire!

(by Jason Lofts)

A Scientist Just Showed Us What Jesus Really Looks Like

(Attn:)

Photo: Richard Neave

Scientist showed us what Jesus really looks like = He's arisen, so just a skull with eye sockets will do

(by Dharam)

Trump's Medical Report Is More Insane Than His Campaign Somehow

(The Daily Beast)

To Whom My Concern [sic] I have been the personal physician of Mr. Donald J. Trump since 1980. His previous physician was my father, Dr. Jacob Bornstein. Over the past 39 years, I am pleased to report that Mr. Trump has had no significant medical problems. Mr. Trump has had a recent complete examination that showed only positive results. Actually, his blood pressure, 110/65, and his laboratory test results were astonishingly excellent. Over the past twelve months, he has lost at least fifteen pounds. Mr. Trump takes 81 mg of aspirin daily and a low dose of statin. His PSA test score is 0.15 (very low). His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary. Mr. Trump has suffered no form of cancer, has never had a hip, knee, or shoulder replacement or any other orthopedic surgery. His only surgery was an appendectomy at age ten. His cardiovascular status is excellent. He has no history of ever using alcohol or tobacco products. If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency. Harold N. Bornstein, MD, FACG

=

This man is a major concern: I recently examined Mr. Donald J. Trump aka The Donald at his personal penthouse asylum suite in the Trump Tower, Upper Manhattan, New York. To tell the truth he is completely insane. At best Trump is a very dangerous psychopath. He suffers from all sorts of mental disorders and complexes, significantly Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy, severe pseudologia fantastica (compulsive pathological lying, in particular as concerns the amount of his personal net wealth), hysteria and narcissistic personality disorder (watchword: hair). The man is a distressed, short-tempered, asocial, psychotic extrovert who is prone to severe uncontrollable disturbances and crotchety, quarrelsome, behavior. His language is, therefore, observably provocative, controversial, hyperbolic and shamelessly offensive. He waffles and vociferates. Should he ever become US president, all I can say is: God help him, America and the entire world, for that matter! Attested: Chet H. Hogwash, PhD Psychiatrist and hypnotist to Mr. Trump

(by Jason Lofts)

Donald Trump would be 'the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency', says his doctor

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Twitter

Donald Trump would be 'the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency', says his doctor, a gastroenterologist, Dr. Harold Bornstein, MD, FACG = Oh God! Medico errs. With various psychopathic disorders, he's a rotten, bald, demented, detestable, deranged, vilest, frothing, doolally, lunatic nutter!

(by Julian Lofts)

The ISIS Fight, Part 1: Take It From Indians -- Religious Wars Stink

(Indian Country Today)

Photo: Alisdare Hickson

The religious wars = ISIS urge other law

(by Jason Lofts)

From Warren Beatty's love letters to power suits: Joan Collins holds an auction

(The Guardian)

Photo: Catchpenny

From Warren Beatty's love letters to power suits: Joan Collins holds an auction = "I'm old. Best to sell faster now. No worries! Can't just carry it all soon up to Heaven!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

'The Trump Who Stole Christmas'

(Star Tribune)

Photo: Elvert Barnes

Excerpt from 'The Grinch's Theme Song' You're a real meany, Mr. Grinch You're the king of sinful sots, Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with Moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch, Your soul is an appalling dump heap Overflowing with the most disgraceful Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

=

'The Donald' You're the enemy, Mr. Trump You're the toxic knave of spades, If your mouth's a horrible-smelling manhole infected with Galloping distemper, gross Mr. Grump, Your long hair strands appall, An orange tress combed up into a mindboggling hotchpotch mess Hiss! Fuck off, pitbull WASP, we hate all your repugnant tirades!

(by Jason Lofts)

Want to feel really small? Meet UY Scuti, the largest star in the universe

(Yahoo!)

The largest star UY Scuti = It's huge, surely attracts

(by Aronas Pinchas)

How to defeat Donald Trump and his ilk: fight fire with fire

(The Guardian)

Photo: Michael Vadon

How to defeat Donald Trump and his ilk: fight fire with fire = Hint on: Aim! Fire! Kill the pig-headed fat turd off with words! = Down with that fat GOP-field idiot akin Der Führer himself!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gaddafi's son Hannibal freed after kidnap in Lebanon

(BBC)

Aha, find a balding ~ Hannibal Gaddafi

(by Julian Lofts)