World's fattest man Andres Moreno Sepulveda dies of heart failure, age 38

(Stuff.co.nz)

The monstrous Mexican Andres Moreno Sepulveda = Poor immense senor couldn't have sex. Trauma ends.

(by Julian Lofts)

The Mexican Andres Moreno Sepulveda = Enormous man expired, leaved a stench

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Archbishop Justin Welby says Isis 'apocalypse' threatens Christians with 'elimination' in religion's birthplace

(The Independent)

Photo: CREDITS

Islamic State "apocalypse" = Slay people as aim/tactics

(by Jason Lofts)

Madame Claude, brothel-keeper - obituary

(The Daily Telegraph)

Fernande Grudet (also known as Madame Claude) dies - the Telegraph's obituary follows = A famous, astute, female brothel owner's deeds. O, an orgy with naked, call girls' pudenda!

(by Julian Lofts)

New species, the ninja lanternshark, discovered

(CNN)

It's Etmopterus benchleyi alias 'ninja lanternshark' = Listen, black "Japanese" manhunter is in reality short

(by Jason Lofts)

NORAD tracks Santa's journey

(MSN)

Photo: Danny Sullivan

NORAD tracks Santa's journey = Sky sojourn ran, traced Santa

(by Russ Atkinson)

Facebook users solve mystery of 'ancient' relic unearthed in Jerusalem

(The Guardian)

Photo: Bio-Energy Systems

Rabbis seem wise re: ~ Weber Isis Beamers

(by Julian Lofts)

Here's How Neil deGrasse Tyson Tried to Completely Ruin Star Wars

(Time)

Who is planetarium director Neil deGrasse Tyson? = Hey, I learned inept cosmologist ruined Star Wars

(by Julian Lofts)

Google Pairs With Ford To Build Self-Driving Cars

(Yahoo!)

Photo: Lars Plougmann

Google/Ford ~ forged logo

(by Robert Jordan)

Miss Universe pageant host Steve Harvey makes huge gaffe, names wrong winner

(Fox News)

Miss Universe contest host Steve Harvey = Not savvy emcee. He errs. TV insists "He's out!"

(by Julian Lofts)

A modest approach to settling the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

(Washington Post)

Photo: Yossi Gurvitz

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict = If no alliance, the split is certain

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sanders Apologizes to Hillary over data breach

(ABC News)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Sanders Apologizes to Hillary over data breach = Oh, the poor, crazy liberal's raids lose advantage

(by Russ Atkinson)

Prince Ali demands FIFA 'join 21st century'

(Channel NewsAsia)

Photo: Doha Stadium Plus Qatar

FIFA presidential hopeful Prince Ali Bin Al Hussein = The Arab is in line-up as fill-in for unideal chief Sepp

(by Jason Lofts)

Does going into hospital make you sick?

(BBC)

Photo: Abel Pardo López

Post-hospital syndrome = Sloppy NHS^* readmits too
*National Health Service (UK)

(by Julian Lofts)

Melissa Rivers Portrays Late Mom Joan Rivers in Joy

(US Magazine)

Photo: Mainstream

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." - The late Joan Rivers = An original joke how she didn't want to confront her transvestite man inside in nothing but her crimson mesh tights

(by Jason Lofts)

And a Partridge in a Cramped Cage ...

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Karunakar Rayker

Gad! Maid a dancing, pear tree crap ~ and a partridge in a cramped cage

(by Robert Jordan)

Are plus-size models making our women obese?

(Fox News)

Photo: vangelisian

Are plus-size models making our women obese? = Unlike some, gals desire no wee bazooms, rump

(by Russ Atkinson)

Trump is still on top

(CBS News)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Trump is still on top ~ most support in till

(by Russ Atkinson)

Chinese buy up bottles of fresh air from Canada

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Vitality Air

Vitality Air = A triviality

(by Julian Lofts)

Disgruntled Siberian city wants cat for mayor

(The Guardian)

Disgruntled Siberian city wants cat for mayor = Crowd bay! May grant Russian district to feline

(by Mark McNamara)

Trump's Muslim ban would be illegal and unconstitutional, claim experts

(The Daily Express)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

The American business mogul Donald Trump = Plutocrat demands ban on Muslims. Huge ire!

(by Jason Lofts)