Mein Kampf sells out on first day in Germany

(The Times of Israel)

Photo: Gwydion M Williams

Adolf Hitler's 'Mein Kampf' sells out in Germany = Führer's plan to kill many of maligned Semites = Lofts skilfully anagrams the memoir I penned

(by Jason Lofts)

State of the Union will be Obama's bid to persuade Americans of progress

(Washington Post)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

State of the Union will be Obama's bid to persuade Americans of progress = "I'm able, man!" - USA's President's done heroic stuff! Please bow to a big orator!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Michelin-rated London kosher restaurant shuts down

(The Jewish Chronicle)

Photo: Ewan Munro

Terrine is a dream at lunch at ~ a Michelin-rated restaurant
A real crush at dinnertime at ~ a Michelin-rated restaurant

(by Jason Lofts)

Adolf Hitler's Legendary Book Mein Kampf Immediately Sells Out in Germany

(Newsweek)

Photo: Kevin Wong

Merkel helps a line of migrants to find asylum = Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf sells out in Germany

(by Julian Lofts)

Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall announce engagement

(BBC)

Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch and actress-model Jerry Hall are excited to announce their engagement = Jagger - "Unadulterated crap! A lecherous old man and my American ex had intercourse? It's tormenting me!" Hello! True!!

(by Julian Lofts)

Golden Globes 2016: The Revenant wins top three awards

(BBC)

Photo: Day Donaldson

'The Revenant' wins top three awards at Golden Globes = Pet bear stands to snarl, then gnawed overweight Leo

(by Jason Lofts)

Drug raid captures El Chapo

(Reuters)

Drug raid captures El Chapo = Drug lord pariah escape cut

(by Russ Atkinson)

Michelin-starred experience for foodie guests on "most luxurious ship ever"

(South China Morning Post)

Photo: Numismatic Bibliomania Society

A Michelin three-star restaurant = Ultra-rich men, tsarinas eat there

(by Jason Lofts)

Antimigrant Protests in Germany

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: Kelly Kline

The antimigrant protests in Germany = Nation's angry rightist temperament

(by Jason Lofts)

Syrian government ready to attend peace talks in Geneva

(Yahoo!)

Photo: Oxfam

Syria peace talks = Israel: pact's a key!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Golden Globes -- Winners include The Revenant, Dicaprio, Brie Larson, The Martian, Lady Gaga, Sylvester Stallone, Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jon Hamm, Oscar Isaac, Cookie from Empire

(Showbiz 411)

Photo: Televisione Streaming

And a Golden Globe award surprisingly goes to two ugly actors ~ pugilist Stallone and gargoyle Gaga. Unrest! Rowdy crowds boo!

(by Julian Lofts)

Playboy Mansion 'up for sale' for $US200 million

(Sydney Morning Herald)

Photo: Daniel Wastak

Playboy Mansion 'up for sale' = Lousy porno base. Infamy, pal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Israeli troops shoot Palestinians who tried to stab soldiers

(The Herald)

Photo: Israel Defense Forces

Israeli troops shoot Palestinians who tried to stab soldiers = Traditional hostilities toward the obsessional oppressors

(by Jason Lofts)

Cologne attacks: Merkel proposes tougher migrant laws

(BBC)

Photo: European People's Party

Cologne's the fourth-largest metropolis in Germany = Migrant youths lose control there, groping females

(by Jason Lofts)

Tom Hanks brings back civility with 'Bridge of Spies'

(Sioux City Journal)

Actor Tom Hanks is in the film 'Bridge of Spies' = Leitmotif's good brinkmanship, safer ethics

(by Julian Lofts)

The True Story Behind The Revenant, as Told in 1939

(Time)

"The Revenant", a biographical western based on the true story of Hugh Glass, is set in South Dakota and Montana = Indians attack, a huge bear savages Leo, see flesh then Hardy abandons him. Potent grunts, notorious wrath. OTT!

(by Julian Lofts)

Man arrested over 'White House dognapping plot'

(The Irish Independent)

Photo: US Embassy Panama

Man arrested over alleged US White House dognapping plot = Single male hoped/planned to ravish Portuguese water dog

(by Jason Lofts)

Man Accused of Shooting Philly Cop Pledged Allegiance to ISIS, Police Say

(Yahoo!)

The suspect Edward Archer = Trash, eh? Captured & screwed!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'World's first' virtual reality porn flick invites men to take part in a simulated orgy

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Sergey Galyonkin

The 'world's first' virtual reality porn flick invites men to take part in a simulated orgy = Dirty perverts wearing an Oculus Rift headset to marvel at kinky titillation film pros

(by Jason Lofts)

US military funds research into lab-grown testicles for wounded soldiers

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Kevin O'Mara

Lab-grown testicles for wounded soldiers = Urologist: "Two new descended balls for sir!"

Research into lab-grown testicles for wounded soldiers = Choice is two new steel balls for grunts and rodeo riders

(by Julian Lofts)