Australian beach evacuated after huge Great White Shark spotted off the coast

(The Independent)

Photo: Scubaben

Australian beach evacuated after huge Great White Shark spotted off the coast = A goliath brute feeder's out! A savage attacker with sharp teeth can cut off heads!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Green leafy vegetables can reduce the risk of glaucoma

(I4U News)

Photo: Slice of Chic

Green leafy vegetables can reduce the risk of glaucoma = Vegan men grateful kale, broccoli, etc. safeguard eyes, eh?

(by Jason Lofts)

Tennessee Powerball Winners: No Big Changes to Lives

(ABC News)

Photo: Wil C. Fry

The Tennessee Powerball winners ~ were penniless, then won, are blest

(by Julian Lofts)

The Danish Girl review: This Eddie Redmayne starrer tries too hard to be perfect

(Firstpost)

Eddie Redmayne stars in The Danish Girl = And relishes his gender identity drama = Identity drama: Slender she is he in drag

(by Jason Lofts)

America notebook: How Donald Trump is destroying the Republican party

(The Spectator)

Photo: Darron Birgenheier

America notebook: How Donald Trump is destroying the Republican party = Oh! Bombastic, power-hungry, party-killer turd is a dope, nit, and menace too!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tsai Ing-wen elected Taiwan's first female president

(BBC)

Photo: davidreid

Taiwan's Tsai Ing-wen ~ saw giant win in East

(by Julian Lofts)

Starvation in Syria 'a war crime,' UN chief says

(CNN)

Photo: Denis Bocquet

"Let me be clear: the use of starvation as a weapon of war is a war crime. All sides, including the Syrian government which has the primary responsibility to protect Syrians, are committing this and other atrocious acts prohibited under international humanitarian laws.
UN teams have witnessed scenes that haunt the soul. The elderly and children, men and women, who were little more than skin and bones: gaunt, severely malnourished, so weak they could barely walk, and utterly desperate for the slightest morsel."
=
In the news on this day: The UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon says that the regime of the perverted President Bashar Al-Assad (who personally is an untrustworthy, hellishly murderous lawbreaker) is committing really "atrocious acts" and "unconscionable abuses" against civilians under siege in Madaya in Syria. "We call the world's attention to this war for the hundredth time. We would welcome all immediate, trenchant intervention from other countries ASAP! We shall need help to prevent it! Thanks!" he stammered.

(by Jason Lofts)

Does "Mein Kampf" Remain a Dangerous Book?

(The New Yorker)

Photo: Gwydion M. Williams

Adolf Hitler's book "Mein Kampf" ("My Struggle") = Famed bully, his talk foments pogrom, krieg

(by Jason Lofts)

Weed Disguised as Carrots Busted at US Border

(MSN)

Photo: US Customs and Border Protection

Weed Disguised as Carrots Busted at US Border = O, we eat badass drug distributors' cursed seed

(by Russ Atkinson)

New Charlie Hebdo cartoon suggests dead three-year-old refugee Aylan Kurdi would have become sexual attacker

(Sydney Morning Herald)

Charlie Hebdo cartoonist Laurent Sourisseau ("Riss") = Re: atrocious, harsh, biased illustration. So, censure!

(by Jason Lofts)

World's 'oldest' man found in remote village in Brazil...and he's 131

(The Daily Express)

World's 'oldest' man found in remote village in Brazil.. and he's 131 = 131? Astounding! One wizened, shrivelled, abnormal, slim, old fart!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Westboro Baptist Church: David Bowie Funeral Protest Planned - WBC Attacks 'Problematic' Child Rape Allegations

(The Inquisitr)

Photo: Wikimedia

"He walked me through his bedroom and into the bathroom, where he dropped his kimono. He got into the tub, already filled with water, and asked me to wash him. Of course I did. Then he escorted me into the bedroom, gently took off my clothes, and de-virginized me." = Hot damn! "He" was the godlike, kooky David Bowie, who did smooch delighted underage (thirteen-year-old) nymphomaniac groupies, then liked to deflower them first before he'd a frenzied hot mad threesome with others in his hotel bath/bedroom. Tut! No comment.

(by Jason Lofts)

Mein Kampf sells out on first day in Germany

(The Times of Israel)

Photo: Gwydion M Williams

Adolf Hitler's 'Mein Kampf' sells out in Germany = Führer's plan to kill many of maligned Semites = Lofts skilfully anagrams the memoir I penned

(by Jason Lofts)

State of the Union will be Obama's bid to persuade Americans of progress

(Washington Post)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

State of the Union will be Obama's bid to persuade Americans of progress = "I'm able, man!" - USA's President's done heroic stuff! Please bow to a big orator!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Michelin-rated London kosher restaurant shuts down

(The Jewish Chronicle)

Photo: Ewan Munro

Terrine is a dream at lunch at ~ a Michelin-rated restaurant
A real crush at dinnertime at ~ a Michelin-rated restaurant

(by Jason Lofts)

Adolf Hitler's Legendary Book Mein Kampf Immediately Sells Out in Germany

(Newsweek)

Photo: Kevin Wong

Merkel helps a line of migrants to find asylum = Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf sells out in Germany

(by Julian Lofts)

Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall announce engagement

(BBC)

Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch and actress-model Jerry Hall are excited to announce their engagement = Jagger - "Unadulterated crap! A lecherous old man and my American ex had intercourse? It's tormenting me!" Hello! True!!

(by Julian Lofts)

Golden Globes 2016: The Revenant wins top three awards

(BBC)

Photo: Day Donaldson

'The Revenant' wins top three awards at Golden Globes = Pet bear stands to snarl, then gnawed overweight Leo

(by Jason Lofts)

Drug raid captures El Chapo

(Reuters)

Drug raid captures El Chapo = Drug lord pariah escape cut

(by Russ Atkinson)

Michelin-starred experience for foodie guests on "most luxurious ship ever"

(South China Morning Post)

Photo: Numismatic Bibliomania Society

A Michelin three-star restaurant = Ultra-rich men, tsarinas eat there

(by Jason Lofts)