Lord Lucan death certificate granted

(BBC)

Photo: Wikimedia

Lord Lucan certified as dead = Cad CID trailed around, flees

(by Barry Solomons)

Adele Tells Donald Trump To Stop Using Her Music On The Campaign Trail

(Huffington Post)

Portrait: vectorportal.com

Adele tells Donald Trump to stop using her music on the campaign trail = Sending ultimatum to mad plutocrat asshole: Scrap "Rolling in the Deep"!

(by Jason Lofts)

Rio Olympics: fears grow that Games could be affected by Zika virus

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Day Donaldson

The unfortunate cases of microcephaly in Brazil ~ account for the unsafe Brazilian Olympics there

(by Julian Lofts)

Surgery for Bangladesh's 'Tree Man' to remove warts

(Yahoo!)

Surgery for Bangladesh's 'Tree Man' to remove warts = A man's severe ugly rare growths to be transformed

(by Jason Lofts)

Arab man tried to smuggle liquor in his pants

(MSN)

Photo: Twitter/Saudi Arabian customs

Arab man tried to smuggle liquor in his pants = Muslim squad tight, nails poor entering Arab

(by Russ Atkinson)

22 Hillary Clinton emails declared 'top secret'

(CBC)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Hillary Clinton emails declared 'top secret' = Chilly report claimed lots are clandestine

(by Jason Lofts)

Barbie adds size diversity

(MSN)

Photo: Mattel

Barbie adds size diversity = Biddy bra sizes deviate, sir

(by Russ Atkinson)

Richard Dawkins dropped from science event for tweeting video mocking feminists and Islamists

(The Independent)

Photo: Marty Stone

'The God Delusion' written by Richard Dawkins = Wrinkly odd dude's an atheist, grown bitchier

(by Julian Lofts)

Controversial militant atheist Richard Dawkins = Isn't he a loathed vitriolic smart Darwinist crank?

(by Jason Lofts)

Israeli vulture detained in Lebanon on suspicion of being a spy

(CNN)

Photo: Ronnie Macdonald

Vulture detained in Lebanon on suspicion of being a spy = Opinion: bird's been a flying detective... An unusual snoop!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Trump will skip latest GOP debate

(New York Daily News)

Photo: Mike Licht

Trump will skip latest GOP debate = Pampered egotist twit pulls balk

(by Russ Atkinson)

Report Lists Somalia, North Korea as World's Most Corrupt Countries

(VOA News)

Photo: Devin Smith

Pinpoint red (toxic) countries per ~ TI Corruption Perceptions Index

TI: Transparency International

(by Jason Lofts)

Lottery winner claims she put ticket in wash

(MSN)

Photo: Draconiansleet

Lottery winner claims she put ticket in wash = With luckier twist it's her money, clean pants

(by Russ Atkinson)

Donald Trump's supporters have one frightening personality trait in common - here's what it is

(Raw Story)

Photo: Max Goldberg

Donald Trump's supporters have one frightening personality trait in common - here's what it is = Let's nod; Menacing authoritarianism drives the worshippers of the ranting loony pest Trump!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Blizzard brings US east coast to standstill and delivers near-record snowfall

(The Guardian)

Photo: PROwoodleywonderworks

American East Coast weather = The area's Antarctic. Awesome! = Snow creates a thematic area = A somewhat tense Arctic area

(by Jason Lofts)

Lawmaker looking to uncork Indiana's happy-hour law

(USA Today)

Photo: Jason Baldwin

Lawmaker looking to uncork Indiana's happy-hour law = Wowie! Unpopular hooligans amok; drink, talk anarchy

(by Russ Atkinson)

Michael Bloomberg considers a presidential run

(Washington Post)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Michael Bloomberg KBE gets a yearning to be POTUS = Bugger me! He's a knob!^* It's belligerent to copy Obama.
^* dickhead

(by Julian Lofts)

Storm Jonas: Giant panda rolls in Washington DC snow

(The Daily Telegraph)

The giant panda truly likes playing in the Washington snowstorm ~ making angel wings. What nonstop horseplay! True idyl - instant hit!

(by Julian Lofts)

Cat that received prosthetic legs at ISU veterinary hospital making strides in recovery

(Iowa State University News Service)

ISU veterinarians outfit cat with very rare titanium prosthetic legs = True! Vets maintain hurt feline Oscar Pistorius with great creativity

(by Jason Lofts)

Sources: Cavaliers fire coach David Blatt

(Yahoo!)

Photo: Wikimedia

Cleveland fires Blatt less than a year after Finals = Cavs trainer blatantly released. Staff: he is fallen

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Mariah Carey and James Packer are engaged

(BBC)

Mariah Carey and James Packer are engaged = Champagne, DJ, a serenade, a creaky marriage?

(by Julian Lofts)