Italian author Umberto Eco dies aged 84

(The Guardian)

Illustration: giveawayboy

Famous Italian writer Umberto Eco has died = A formidable Euro semiotician thwarted us

(by Julian Lofts)

Australian town gripped by hairy panic

(Al Jazeera)

Australian town gripped by hairy panic = Runaway plant crop: it is in big yard heap

(by Russ Atkinson)

Turkeys go postal

(MSN)

Photo: WFIU Public Radio

Turkeys go postal ~ stalk poorest guy

(by Russ Atkinson)

GPS for your sex drive

(UC Berkeley News)

GPS for your sex drive = Foxy surges provider

(by Russ Atkinson)

Need a job? Google is hiring like crazy for its driverless cars

(Yahoo!)

Photo: Automobile Italia

The self-driving car = First grand vehicle

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The Men Who Stare at Laundry

(MSN)

The men who stare at laundry = Why a turn-on lathered mates

(by Robert Jordan)

Trying to Buy a House

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Dave Kliman

Trying to buy a house = You bug his attorney!

(by Robert Jordan)

Ehud Olmert begins first day in prison today

(Arutz Sheva)

Photo: Jonathan Klinger

Ehud Olmert has been sent to prison in Israel = Elite PM's rotten. He's a dishonourable sinner.

(by Julian Lofts)

Free subway for dogs in Madrid

(MSN)

Photo: Seth Werkheiser

Free subway for dogs in Madrid = Fido rides wards no fare, by gum

(by Russ Atkinson)

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a fossilized Viking Turd

(Readicon)

Photo: Wikimedia

This is coprolite, a fossilized Viking turd = Go visit, scrutinize pile of dark solid shit!

(by Jason Lofts)

Scientists say they have detected gravitational waves, proof of Einstein's theory of relativity

(Daily Kos)

Photo: Maxwell Hamilton

Scientists say they have detected gravitational waves = As savvy ghost Einstein watched a cited test, "Ya, Relative!"

(by Dharam)

Star Wars prosecuted over Harrison Ford injury

(BBC)

Photo: Tom Simpson

Star Wars prosecuted over Harrison Ford injury = "JRRrrrr," chewie says "Stop! Turn! Avoid unsafe door!"

(by Greig Templeton)

Former Auschwitz guard Reinhold Hanning on trial in Germany

(The Daily Telegraph)

A former Auschwitz guard Reinhold Hanning put on trial = The old and frail Nazi German war thug in court. Punish or ...?

(by Jason Lofts)

Feel the Bern tattoo

(MSN)

Feel the Bern tattoo ~ to be near to the Left

(by Russ Atkinson)

Donald Trump wins 2016 GOP New Hampshire primary

(New York Daily News)

Photo: H. Michael Karshis

New Hampshire (US State) = Trump shines - what ease!

(by Jason Lofts)

Pig shows up at New Hampshire polling place

(MSN)

Pig shows up at New Hampshire polling place = It gulps swill. He a new GOP champion, perhaps?

(by Russ Atkinson)

Barbara Bush: I'm sick of Donald Trump

(CNN)

Barbara Bush: I'm sick of Donald Trump = "Horrid bad bum's a boastful prick, man!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pro Wrestler Daniel Bryan Announces His Retirement From WWE

(E!)

Photo: Krystal Bogner

The pro wrestler Daniel Bryan = Lethal brawny person retired

(by Jason Lofts)

Butt Print Valentine's Cards: Cheeky Or Asinine?

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Ringerprints

Butt print Valentine's Day cards = Verdict: Anal pattern by nudists

(by Jason Lofts)

Another member of ISIS execution squad reportedly identified

(Yahoo!)

Image: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann

Alexanda Kotey = No delay, take ax!

(by Aronas Pinchas)